It's always a wedding drama isn't it?!

[TooGlamToGiveADamnn]

One of my friends and co workers is getting married in a few months time and I've been invited for the whole day. Lovely gesture especially since when I got the invite I had not known her long. I was even invited to her hen do, but couldn't go as couldn't afford it after coming back from maternity leave recently.

We aren't best friend close but know each other through others at work. Don't even speak as work different sides of the office.

However, I don't know if I'm being unreasonable and wanted some opinions..
She has asked the close group going to her wedding what we were all wearing for her big day, and because I said I wasn't buying something new as I had some dresses I have not worn yet, I've been told "I would've thought my wedding was a good enough excuse to buy something new!" (Finances are tight and she is aware of this)
She then sent me a message privately saying "I don't want this to come off as rude, but do you still want to come to my wedding? As you don't seem that interested or excited when it's been brought up in conversation? Can you let me know, as I need to confirm numbers in the upcoming weeks"

I understand she is excited for her big day, but it's not me getting married! Why would I be getting excited for her wedding day? AIBU?

She's deranged x

There didn't seem to be this level of 'entitlement' by the bride-to-be',or any of this Bridezilla behaviour that seems to be so common nowadays that it's almost regarded as normal.

I had been thinking much the same thing myself. Weddings were not as elaborate and were more of a true celebration of the couple, rather than the bride's wants.

Is she one of those brides who thinks that guests shouldn't wear dresses in the "wedding colours" in case they are "mistaken for a bridesmaid"? Barking yes but I have heard brides say this.

I know some people buy a new outfit for a wedding, but I always assumed it was an excuse to treat themselves. Is it really expected now, that all guests should buy new outfits?

I would also say something along the lines of HostessTrolleys suggestion. ‘I bought a couple of dresses a little while ago and have been waiting for the right time to wear them. One is absolutely perfect for your wedding and I’m really looking forward to your big day!’. Massive overreaction on her part but no point compounding it unless you want to be uninvited and feel left out.

Why would I be getting excited for her wedding day?

And this is out and out rude

No, it isn't. It's ludicrous to expect all your guests to be in a state of excitement about your wedding, especially when it's months before the thing is due to take place.

It's not too much to ask that your day guests act as though they want to be there.

I don't see how this is in any way incompatible with deciding you don't need to buy a new dress specially for the occasion.

OP, you have a problem. If you say you want to go, you will be expected to gush from now on every time she mentions the flaming wedding. And if you say you don't, you'll be that horrible killjoy. Does Bridezilla by any chance have a sensible friend or two who can reign her in a bit? That's the only remedy I can think of.

I agree with @thepeopleversuswork. She sounds both deluded and deeply tiresome, assuming you aren’t spending your working day saying ‘Christ, enough wedding guff!’ and being vocal about rocking up in an old onesie covered in dried-in cereal.

"Why would I be getting excited for her wedding day."

WTF!! You'd be getting excited for her because that's what friends do. Instead of replying to a question about what you're wearing by saying you won't buy anything new . YABU.

She’s clearly being unreasonable but doesn’t see it in the throes of wedding planning stress and self-centredness probably. I think regardless of how you feel, be kind and show her some excitement as I think its normal to do this for a friend/acquaintance even. Wear what you’d planned and say it’s new, reply and say, sorry I didn’t mean to come off that way, of course I’m coming and excited for you. Get a nice gift and try to enjoy the day. If you don’t see her as a friend, just take a step further back after the wedding. Drama Free

I’m surprised she invited you in the first place since you don’t know each other very well. Could be that she doesn’t have many friends. She sounds very stressed and could do with support. If you can’t offer that, don’t go.

Your disinterest in her and her day have obviously been picked up by her.

The dress issue is irrelevant and why do you even need to wear something previously unworn!

You don’t seem to like her, seem surprised to be invited and say you never talk to her at work.

Perhaps she invited you so you didn’t feel left out and thought that you would become closer over the months between invite and wedding.

I think you need to be kinder, this is her big day and you should show some enthusiasm and make her feel special.

I think her comment about buying something special was her fishing for some positives comments from you. She sounds young and at the age where people ‘plan outfits’ for events, go along with it and tell her of course you are really looking forward to it and sorry if you have given her a different impression.

If you aren’t interested then do the right thing, make an excuse and save her some money.

I think yabu. Outside of mumsnet most people do look forward to a wedding. And from the bride's point of view it probably is costing upwards of £100 for you to be there. Just 'be kind' and show some enthusiasm instead of being a misery about it! Or better still if you really can't be arsed then do her the courtesy of not going.

People may mildly look forward to a colleague’s wedding in the same way they mildly look forward to a day at the beach or a night out, but anyone who thinks a colleague they don’t know particularly well should be visibly fizzing over with excitement at work on a regular basis because she’s got an invitation is tragically deluded. Or crazed with self-importance. Or has confused the OP with her childhood best friend and bridesmaid.