To think this extra homework is unfair?

[twosoups1972]

Dd is 13, Year 8. On the autistic spectrum if that's relevant.

In the week before half term, she was performing in her dance school's annual show. She loves dance and gets a lot out of these shows which are very professionally done and take place in a local theatre.

During show week she had rehearsals at the theatre every day straight from school till 9pm. Then one performance on Friday and two on Saturday.

On the Tuesday of show week, she came out of school saying she had Science homework due in that Friday which involved using a laptop for research and typing things up. She explained to the Science teacher about the show but no allowances were made and dd was told if she didn't hand in the homework she would get a detention.

So dd's schoolfriend (also in the same dance show) took her laptop to the theatre on one of the rehearsal nights and together they did the homework and handed it in. I thought they managed it well bearing in mind the tiring schedule that week.

Last week was half term then back to school on Monday. I thought that was the end of it but no. In Tuesday's Science lesson, dd and her friend were given additional homework as they had done the previous one together. Just them, not the rest of the class.

AIBU to think this is OTT and petty? And gives a message that the school doesn't value outside activities.

They could have used the time to do their homework independently. It wasn’t a joint homework. It shouldn’t have been done collaboratively.

The homework task wasn’t a joint one, they can’t just decide to turn it into a joint one.

She needs to learn to prioritise her education over her extra curricular activities. It’s only going to become more of an issue as she heads into years 10 and 11

Yes you are being unreasonable. One of my secondry age kids competes in a sport and has other outside interests which take time up in the evenings. This is every week and I still expect him to keep up with the 4-7 pieces of homework he gets weekly. It's part of being on high school, they have to manage outside interests alongside homework.

I would have made sure she did have time to do the homework in the first place or facilitated her to do it in the rehearsal time like her friend did.

Most kids have hobbies and other commitments to manage out of school but they still need to either do their homework or deal with the consequences of not doing it.

Homework has to take priority over extra curriculum activities. DD and DS have sports clubs/competitions 5 nights a week after school as well as on Saturdays and Sundays, but they have to submit their homework to a good standard and on time - otherwise no sport. Rules are very simple in our house.

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable. They’re year 8 and took steps to get it done. It’s just one homework, not like a piece of work that has been ongoing for weeks and that they’ve left it to the last minute to try and fob the teacher off.
They should do it together.

Going to go against the grain here and say YANBU. She absolutely should have had to do the homework, yes, she doesn't get out of it because she has chosen to do additional activities, but getting extra work for completing it with a friend is petty to me. I don't see what difference it makes, for all the teacher knows the others did their homework with their parents, what's the difference? It was a one-off thing and the girls managed their time and got it done as well as collaborating, which is a more relevant real-world skill than sitting in silence answering a sheet of questions.

I can see both sides of this.

Generally I'm of the view that if students choose to do extra-curriculars that have heavy commitments on evenings and weekends then the responsibility lies with them and their families to keep on top of the homework.

One of the reasons why music/sport/drama/dance are valued further down the line is as much to do with the organisation required to keep on top of things, and it's a nightmare for staff if you get a situation where every week there's a student/parent thinking that homework dates are flexible around football/rehearsals/training weekends etc. It's not about not valuing extra curricular activities, more that it's a lot more fuss and organisation to mark 27/32 pieces of homework and then have to find time to dig out the other 5 around whatever they are doing out of school, or have to plan a different starter for a lesson because 4 students won't have done the prep, or have 15 mins of dead time in lessons for some students because you're going through the homework and some students haven't done it.

Equally, if it was possible to make a one off allowance for a student who normally has everything done on time, never takes advantage of kindness and my class overall knew never to abuse my discretion and kindness then I would try to be flexible.

Puk at my son's school if homework isn't done to an acceptable standard they have to do it again. My son has only done this once and now dies it correctly every time it sounds like this is what tne science teacher did. Better to have to remember do it once and learn to do it to the required level the first time than have years of sloppy homework handed in.

So they did half a homework each? Of course they should get extra homework, otherwise everyone would just to that - saves half the effort.

I would have made sure she did have time to do the homework in the first place or facilitated her to do it in the rehearsal time like her friend did

Dd doesn't have Word on her laptop, she usually uses my desktop for homework at home. That was why they did it together on the friend's laptop.

I know and understand the importance of schoolwork....but this is Year 8, there is mental health crisis with teenagers in this country, everyone is obsessed with getting top grades and not enough value is given to arts, music or sport.

She can’t just decide to make it into a joint task though. It seems you place more value on her dancing than her education!

No, it's not particularly fair. Life often isn't very fair, though, and I really don't think this is a big enough deal to make a fuss about.

Homework isn't punishment. Homework is part of the learning process. They are trying to educate your child in this particular subject. Why don't you want her to learn this subject?

YABU, and precious. Could you imagine if every child with out of school activities didn’t complete homework?
Please do not use autism, even if diagnosed,as a reason for special treatment. School is compulsory dance is not.

She didn't just decide @sirzy she made the best of a difficult situation. When exactly was she supposed to do it? After getting home at 9.30pm after an exhausting day.

The show is once a year. The rest of the year dd attends all her dance classes and gets all her homework done. She has good attendance and behaves well at school.

And yes her dance is very important to her. She's autistic and it's a passion of hers and I fully support it.

YANBU absolutely fucking petty on the part of the teacher. Hasn’t he or she heard of collaborative learning?
School isn’t the only place to learn, and in having extra curricular curricular activities, your child is on her way to becoming a more balanced individual.

DISCLAIMER my ds is almost 18 and in his last year of school and I am sick to the back teeth of this kind of pettiness, which I’ve experienced in various ways since my dd started in education in 2001

It was 1 piece of homework. Is that all she got all week? My son gets between 5-7 per week and completes alongside competing in a sport, training plus other interests. Yes it's year 8, she needs to get into a good routine now before gcse courses start and she won't have any choice but to complete everything alongside outside interests.

What @Sirzy said.

If she has three evenings to do it, perhaps set aside 20 minutes every evening so she can tackle the homework and still go to dance practice?

@KahlanRahl dd's friend who has already done the extra homework told dd she just used the previous one and changed the words a bit. How is that learning? It just seems to be a box ticking exercise to me.

No you're not being unreasonable.

My DS is 15 and autistic in mainstream secondary. I am sick and tired of constantly fighting against the strict hw rules. It benefits no one and my ds is pretty much refusing to go to school now he gets so anxious shaking and crying because he knows he can't live up to their high standards. Schools have no leeway its their rules for the league tables and that is that.
Why should your dd not have ec activities? Why should their education just be about school? No wonder there are so many kids with MH issues they have pressure from school and pressure from home. Are they going to be a rocket scientist? A brain surgeon? No? Then let them enjoy their childhood.

At DS's school they risk a detention if their shirt is untucked. How the hell is that impacting on their education? He isn't going to be a high flying businessman. But at this rate he wont be anything because I can't get him into school and when I do he gets into trouble because he isn't a perfect high flying academic.

I come from a family of teachers. I value my education and have two other DC who cope well with school who I have encouraged and worked with to get a good education so I know what it is worth. DD is at a top 20 uni and doing really well. DS2 is predicted 9's at core GCSE's. I know what education is about. I also know what care is about and differentiation in schools and that is not happening. Get good grades that is it!

Anyhow I am so sorry to hijack OP's post but OP no I don't see why you are being unreasonable. Your DD and her friends used common sense and got homework in. Her science teacher is not the most important person in the world. Her homework is not the most important thing in the world. Common sense should have been used by the teacher. EC activities are important to a childs growth and development and mental health.

So I am sure helicopter mums will be along to have a go at me and my attitude but I dont care. I can see kids falling apart all over the place because of the pressure they are under. It's wrong

@InFiveMins that's what she usually does but the show week (one week/year) is a particularly heavy schedule as explained above.

I know and understand the importance of schoolwork....but this is Year 8, there is mental health crisis with teenagers in this country, everyone is obsessed with getting top grades and not enough value is given to arts, music or sport
You're stretching the point here. It seems at the moment that 'mental health' gets invoked for any school decision a parent doesn't like.

Expecting a student to do their homework and organise their studies and enrichment isn't showing lack of value on sports or the arts.

And I'm saying this as a teacher who is willing to be flexible where and when required.

She should do the homework on her own.

Is that all she got all week?

No she got other homework but it was written in an exercise book so she could take her books and do it at the theatre in her break. It was just this Science homework that was problematic as it required a laptop.