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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this extra homework is unfair?

96 replies

twosoups1972 · 27/02/2020 14:24

Dd is 13, Year 8. On the autistic spectrum if that's relevant.

In the week before half term, she was performing in her dance school's annual show. She loves dance and gets a lot out of these shows which are very professionally done and take place in a local theatre.

During show week she had rehearsals at the theatre every day straight from school till 9pm. Then one performance on Friday and two on Saturday.

On the Tuesday of show week, she came out of school saying she had Science homework due in that Friday which involved using a laptop for research and typing things up. She explained to the Science teacher about the show but no allowances were made and dd was told if she didn't hand in the homework she would get a detention.

So dd's schoolfriend (also in the same dance show) took her laptop to the theatre on one of the rehearsal nights and together they did the homework and handed it in. I thought they managed it well bearing in mind the tiring schedule that week.

Last week was half term then back to school on Monday. I thought that was the end of it but no. In Tuesday's Science lesson, dd and her friend were given additional homework as they had done the previous one together. Just them, not the rest of the class.

AIBU to think this is OTT and petty? And gives a message that the school doesn't value outside activities.

OP posts:
Purpleartichoke · 27/02/2020 14:51

She can’t just turn it into a group project.

We have been there with busy weeks and homework. You just find a way to squeeze it in. Often that means the parent gathering the supplies and sitting on the sidelines ready to hand the book opened to the right page to the child.

Original poster
twosoups1972 · 27/02/2020 14:54

@LolaSmiles so as a teacher would you not been flexible over this particular issue with a student who a) has a one off commitment that week, b) always does homework on time and to a high standard, and c) is autistic?

OP posts:
ZeroFuchsGiven · 27/02/2020 14:54

When exactly was she supposed to do it?

Library at lunch or break
Before school (she had 3 days)
When she got back from rehearsals

Ellisandra · 27/02/2020 14:54

I think it would have been better if the science teacher had given her an extension until Monday - assuming it wasn’t homework feeding into a lesson on Friday. However, I wouldn’t envy a teacher with a class full of kids asking for exception for dance shows, grandma visiting... whatever. Sometimes, a strict rule isn’t a bad thing.

It wasn’t set as a joint homework. Perhaps the teacher knows damn well who completed it? Joint efforts aren’t usually joint. So this is a way to get the other person working too.

It can’t have been that hard if it was done in one evening between rehearsals - so I would have expected my child to get up early one morning to do it.

It was perfectly achievable - as the other girl with the idea of bringing her laptop showed.

I think an exemption would have been the better option - but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the teacher’s decision.

CorianderLord · 27/02/2020 14:55

I mean it's not like they're getting detention. The teacher set the extra to show that they understood the work that they did half of each. Now that they don't have the show they have the time to do the extra piece of work.

Easy, and a good all round solution.

Foxyloxy1plus1 · 27/02/2020 14:55

I agree that if you prioritise an extra curricular event that has an impact on school work, then you have to accept the consequences if the school and homework is incomplete or not of the usual standard that the student produces.

If you are concerned that your daughter’s mental health will be compromised if she were to curtail her dancing activity, then I think you have to ensure that she has the wherewithal to complete her homework in the time required, as well as taking part in the show. As she is autistic, I would think that she would be concerned if her homework was not done and that could cause anxiety.

LolaSmiles · 27/02/2020 14:56

It was just this Science homework that was problematic as it required a laptop.
I'd have thought the thing to do would be to do the research together and produce separate pieces of homework. That's what a few of my students do around Christmas when they have pantomime and Christmas carol concerts.

Ellisandra · 27/02/2020 14:58

I don’t understand the relevance of your daughter being autistic. My niece is autistic. She does her homework. I totally get the heavy schedule. If anything, my niece would be likely to choose herself to get up earlier - because despite the additional commitments that week, she would be very uncomfortable not following the usual rules. An exemption wouldn’t suit her at all! Every child is different, every child’s experience of autism if different. If there is a reason your daughter’s autism makes a difference, fine - but when you add “(c) she’s autistic” I just think - and? Which may also be the response of her teacher.

LolaSmiles · 27/02/2020 15:00

so as a teacher would you not been flexible over this particular issue with a student who a) has a one off commitment that week, b) always does homework on time and to a high standard, and c) is autistic?
It would depend on how the homework fitted into the lessons.

For example a stand alone review of a topic would probably get an extension, but some research in preparation for the topic we are about to cover on the day homework is due probably not because the whole point of setting the homework for that date was it feeds into the lesson.

As I mentioned in my reply that cross posted with this reply from you, I'd have thought the sensible solution in your daughter's situation would be for her and her friend to use the laptop to complete any research together and then create separate pieces of homework to submit.

Original poster
twosoups1972 · 27/02/2020 15:00

@Crazyhouse123 I'm sorry to hear about your ds. I agree with everyone you have said. Yes rules are important but there should be some leeway and common sense applied.

@LolaSmiles I'm sure you don't mean to, but it sounds like you are dismissing the mental health problems we have. Every teenager I talk to is worried about grades. It's so sad. They are pushed and pushed to achieve at every stage. We have this crazy education system in this country.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 27/02/2020 15:02

So if the new homework is basically just consolidation of the other one then it won’t be hard for her to do it if she did her fair share of it before - which I assume is the thinking of the teacher!

Herpesfreesince03 · 27/02/2020 15:04

You are being ridiculous imo. After school activities are important, but so is school. There needs to be a balance. Having an after school activity until 9 o clock at night and then multiple times over the whole weekend to the point she’s falling behind on homework is too much. I agree with the school and I don’t think you’re teaching your daughter a good lesson by agreeing with them

Alsoco · 27/02/2020 15:08

You might view it as pedantic but the teacher may well be trying to teach your daughter a life lesson - that if a deadline is set then it should be met. Missing deadlines has consequences.

Particularly as your daughters friend says it’s essentially an extension of the initial homework task with a few words changed. It doesn’t sound like the teacher wants more work done as such, just a moral teaching.

Original poster
twosoups1972 · 27/02/2020 15:09

@Herpes thank you for your post. The 9pm finish is not throughout the year, it's a one off during the week of the show. As I have said, the rest of the year dd manages her homework fine with her dance classes.

OP posts:
Original poster
twosoups1972 · 27/02/2020 15:11

Yes I suppose so @Alsoco so that's what dd will do too and hopefully it won't take her too long.

Just a shame that schools say they value extra curricular activities, they want well rounded individuals etc but when it comes to it, it seems they are just concerned about grades Sad

OP posts:
BackInTime · 27/02/2020 15:12

I think from the teachers point of view if they start making exceptions for situations like your DDs then they would have to make exceptions for other kids with extra curricular activities or for other excuses. Then you also get DCs who take advantage of that and make exaggerated claims about why they cannot do homework and then before you know it no one bothers handing in their work.

Ellisandra · 27/02/2020 15:14

You are massively projecting your opinion that school don’t value her extra curricular activities!
They haven’t indicated that at all.
They just want her to keep up with school demands a well.

Nobody put her in detention or told her off for doing half the homework (if that, as I said above - joint is rarely joint!). The teacher came up with a decent solution.

my2bundles · 27/02/2020 15:14

Schools do value extra currocular activities, my son's school certainly does. But also by year 8 they expect them to manage their time and complete homework because it will only get even harder by year 10.

Original poster
twosoups1972 · 27/02/2020 15:18

Yes I suppose that's true @BackInTime and there is the question of give an inch and they'll take a mile.

OP posts:
JKScot4 · 27/02/2020 15:19

The more I read the more daft OPs replies are. Your little darling isn’t entitled to special treatment or ‘leeway’, seriously get a grip.
I wonder if my DD misses homework and tells her teacher she fancied a post school nap and couldn’t manage the work, will that be ok, you know because she deserves it??

Original poster
twosoups1972 · 27/02/2020 15:23

You don't need to be nasty @JKScot perhaps you don't have a child with additional needs. I am trying to take on board the comments on here.

OP posts:
Ellisandra · 27/02/2020 15:23

What difference does your daughter being autistic make, @twosoups1972 ?

ps1991 · 27/02/2020 15:24

If my students don't have access to a computer at home they are expected to complete the set homework at break, lunchtime or before school. I'm also sure that the teacher would have accepted written homework if she had done the research with her friend and then written her answers.

In my experience with setting and collecting homework you have to be very strict with the 'no excuses' policy otherwise children and parents will come up with all sorts of reasons why homework wasn't completed.

PerfectParrot · 27/02/2020 15:28

Every teenager I talk to is worried about grades.

Have you asked them why they are worried about grades? IME, in most cases it is more parental pressure than school pressure.

marcopront · 27/02/2020 15:29

YANBU absolutely fucking petty on the part of the teacher. Hasn’t he or she heard of collaborative learning?

The teacher probably has heard of collaborative learning but that doesn't mean every task has to be collaborative. Homework is normally an individual task.

Dd doesn't have Word on her laptop, she usually uses my desktop for homework at home.

Why couldn't she have used Google Docs on her laptop? She could have then downloaded it as a word document on the desktop.