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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this extra homework is unfair?

96 replies

twosoups1972 · 27/02/2020 14:24

Dd is 13, Year 8. On the autistic spectrum if that's relevant.

In the week before half term, she was performing in her dance school's annual show. She loves dance and gets a lot out of these shows which are very professionally done and take place in a local theatre.

During show week she had rehearsals at the theatre every day straight from school till 9pm. Then one performance on Friday and two on Saturday.

On the Tuesday of show week, she came out of school saying she had Science homework due in that Friday which involved using a laptop for research and typing things up. She explained to the Science teacher about the show but no allowances were made and dd was told if she didn't hand in the homework she would get a detention.

So dd's schoolfriend (also in the same dance show) took her laptop to the theatre on one of the rehearsal nights and together they did the homework and handed it in. I thought they managed it well bearing in mind the tiring schedule that week.

Last week was half term then back to school on Monday. I thought that was the end of it but no. In Tuesday's Science lesson, dd and her friend were given additional homework as they had done the previous one together. Just them, not the rest of the class.

AIBU to think this is OTT and petty? And gives a message that the school doesn't value outside activities.

OP posts:

Crazyhouse123 · 27/02/2020 15:34

Ellisandra autism is a many headed beast. It can be very relevant. Just because you know autism in your niece doesnt mean you know it in OP's DD or any other ASD child.

Brazi103 · 27/02/2020 15:34

Yabu and what exactly are you teaching her. That she can cut corners and its all ok because she made half an effort?
And if you are using the point of unfairness, why isnt it unfair on everyone else who handed in individual pieces of homework?
Extra curricular does not come before school.

Ellisandra · 27/02/2020 15:39

@Crazyhouse123 I know that. My niece is an example, another poster said the same - about the autism making them anxious if they didn’t do the homework. I know not everyone is the same. That’s why I’ve asked the OP what impact her daughter’s autism has. Because overall her posts give the impression of being quite precious over this - and she’s replying a bit selectively.

Crazyhouse123 · 27/02/2020 15:42

Homework should be an extension of learning. One set of homework missed or done as OP's dd did it is not going to mean she will fail or get lower grades.

As adults we can chose what we do in our downtime. If we chose a job, such as teaching, where work needs to be done at home we can chose to change our job. Kids have to be educated. But the focus has become too results based. It shows here in the replies. Kids need to be kids. Having fun doing a show she had worked so hard for is just as important as a single piece of homework where she did get the extended learning by doing it with her friend. The teacher didn't recognise that. That is up to the teacher it doesnt mean OP has to agree or feel that it is the best thing for her child who only she knows.

Ellisandra · 27/02/2020 15:42

@Crazyhouse123 and my post actually said, “every child is different, every child’s experience of autism is different”. So don’t worry, I do clearly know that.

The relevance - or not - if autism here could be the difference between OP being previous, and the school not making reasonable adjustments.

Overall though - seems the child wasn’t even told off, just asked to do an easily manageable additional piece of work to make up for what they didn’t do. Hardly a bad thing.

Ellisandra · 27/02/2020 15:43

How did the teacher not recognise it?
All they’ve asked is that she complete an additional piece that she can easily do.
It’s not like she was told off 🤷🏻‍♀️

Brefugee · 27/02/2020 15:45

tbh I think the fact that she has autism is a bit of a red herring here. It seems that the real problem was the lack of time. TBH i think that if it's one week a year, you have to consider one detention (which isn't the end of the world although maybe your DD feels it is?) as a kind of "cost of doing business" (ie it's the payoff for doing the show)

Aren't there freebie versions of things like word that she could use? (I get they're not as good)

Saddler · 27/02/2020 15:45

She didn't do her homework as it was intended to be due to an external activity. I see where you're coming from but it is what it is.

BackInTime · 27/02/2020 15:46

Also I think it's important that your DD understands the message that school comes first. Yes being involved in an extra curricular activity that you love is very important and healthy too but there has to be a balance with what's expected at school. While I also agree about pressure, be mindful that while it is only Year 8 good subject foundations are really important for GCSES and will in fact lessen the impact in year 10/11 when the pressure is really on.

WhyCantIThinkOfAGoodOne · 27/02/2020 15:48

I don't think the teacher can accept excuses like that, I would have had DD do her homework quickly (even if it was a bit rubbish) after rehearsal each day. Or failing that I'd have contacted the teacher and let her know DD didn't have access to a computer that week.

PurpleDaisies · 27/02/2020 15:48

What kind of laptop has absolutely no word processing software on it?

WhyCantIThinkOfAGoodOne · 27/02/2020 15:49

From now I would just reassure DD one detention isn't the end of the world, the show was wonderful and well worth it and you're proud of her for working so hard at it.

PurpleDaisies · 27/02/2020 15:49

Or failing that I'd have contacted the teacher and let her know DD didn't have access to a computer that week.

Other students won’t have a computer at home. They are expected to do it in the school library at break or lunch.

Crazyhouse123 · 27/02/2020 15:50

Ellisandra but she kind of was told off by being given the extra work to do. Sorry also that I misread your initial post about recognising autism is different in everyone.

Ellisandra · 27/02/2020 15:51

@WhyCantIThinkOfAGoodOne the girl didn’t even get a detention though! She was just asked to do an extra piece of work, this week. It’s nothing for OP to get worked up about.

Ellisandra · 27/02/2020 15:55

@Crazyhouse123 I don’t see that as being told off at all. Of course I wasn’t there, so who knows what the teacher said and how. But to me that’s just a sensible solution to work not being done. She wasn’t given a detention as well as the extra work.

OP started her post with “if the autism is relevant” and then later on has decided that the teacher should have taken the autism into account. That makes me feel like the OP knows it isn’t relevant (or she’d say it was, and how) and she’s just being precious.

I’m not sure I’ve ever used the term snowflake on here, but one small extra (and not really extra, as the point is she didn’t do all the first one) is not a big deal.

I hope the OP isn’t also complaining to her daughter that the school doesn’t value extra curricular activity.

Mamato2gorgeousboys · 27/02/2020 15:55

Op, you’re making a much bigger deal of this than needs to be. If a teacher had to take into account the extra curriculars of each child, they would never be able to keep track as they probably teach 150/200 pupils a week. You are not doing your dc any favours by making excuses for her as she won’t ever learn to manage her workload or take responsibility for herself if mummy is there emailing to complain after every time she hasn’t done what she was meant to do. Is it slightly unfair? Probably. Does she need to pull up her big girl pants? Definitely. Also, the issues with teen mental health don’t

Mamato2gorgeousboys · 27/02/2020 15:56

**Also, the issues with teen mental health don’t stem from a science teacher expecting a student to do their homework alone, even if they’re in a show.

AlpineSnow · 27/02/2020 15:57

I mean it's not like they're getting detention. The teacher set the extra to show that they understood the work that they did half of each. Now that they don't have the show they have the time to do the extra piece of work
Easy, and a good all round solution
I agree with this

cologne4711 · 27/02/2020 16:00

I don';t think you are being unreasonable. They are 13, they used their initiative despite other commitments and they got it done. It is ok for kids to have interests other than school and homework - indeed it is recommended! School does not always come first unless you have GCSEs or A levels looming - and even then, keeping up a hobby is good.

I think the teacher is being silly. It's one piece of homework they collaborated on. And if they hadn't threatened detention and instead given an extension which would have been sensible in this instance, they wouldn't have done it together.

cologne4711 · 27/02/2020 16:02

If a teacher had to take into account the extra curriculars of each child, they would never be able to keep track as they probably teach 150/200 pupils a week

They don't need to keep track, they just need to be sensible about giving an extension if it is requested for a good reason.

While I also agree about pressure, be mindful that while it is only Year 8 good subject foundations are really important for GCSES and will in fact lessen the impact in year 10/11 when the pressure is really on

Seriously year 8 isn't a foundation for anything. It is at best a repeat of year 7 and at worst the kids get fobbed off with supply teachers and do very little of use. And anyway, one half-homework is not going to have an impact on GCSEs three years later.

JKScot4 · 27/02/2020 16:04

@twosoups1972
I have a son with Aspergers and I don’t need to mention it to get him special treatment or as an excuse to not to do homework.
You expect your DD to be given different allowances because she dances and is ‘on the spectrum’, has she a diagnosis?

Musmerian · 27/02/2020 16:06

Secondary school teacher here. I would always give an extension in this kind of situation- that kind of inflexibility isn’t helpful.

theswordthatdangles · 27/02/2020 16:06

It's possible the girls handed in two identical pieces of work so rather than punish one further, additional homework has been set to check both girls learning as the work can now be done independently.

I think in this case the autism is a red herring. You have a dd who does an extra curricular activity and once a year the schedule is manic.

So; suggestions. email the science teacher and ask why the additional homework was set.
for future time poor scheduling, maybe your dd needs to get up a little earlier and do the homework in the morning before going school, or ask if she can use a computer and do it at lunchtime - my DD has done this when she realised she hadn't done a piece due that day and it avoided any sanctions.

Your dd is not the only child who will have scheduling like this and I think it's down to you as the parent to help her manage her workload so it doesn't happen again in the future.

Mamato2gorgeousboys · 27/02/2020 16:09

@cologne4711 The teacher would need to keep track as they would need to chase the students who didn’t hand it in on time. They can’t give an extension for every show or fixture as that would mean that for every piece of homework, different pupils have different due dates. The teacher also needs to mark this homework or it will be marked at the start of the class (which then means that the students who didn’t do it will get the answers). Could the teacher have been more helpful? Maybe - but it shouldn’t be expected every time a child has an extra curricular. It would also depend on the relationship with the teacher and how that student has behaved with homework in the past.

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