Is DS being a CF?

[MirandaGoshawk]

DS is 26 and lives at home. He works long hours, so I do his washing. His GF is also 26 and lives with her parents. She stays over with DS two or three nights a week. Her socks & undies have appeared in our washing basket a couple of times and I've done them without comment. Now a pair of her trousers have appeared. I mentioned them to DS and said I wasn't happy with extra work drying clothes in this weather. He said to shove them in with his and tumble dry (which I tend to avoid). But the label says no. Anyway today is blowy so I have washed them. AIBU to ask him to get her to take her washing home in future? What if I shrink something?

[flower1994]

think a 26 year old should be doing their own laundry, thinking the girlfriend has maybe accidentally left a pair of trousers there rather than intentionally trying to give you extra washing - when I used to stay at my partners before we moved out together (at 22) I used to forget clothes there all the time and sometimes they would get mixed up with my partners when he grabbed everything and threw it in the wash - are you sure, and not trying to be patronising, that maybe having your son and doing everything for him still is actually the thing that is starting to wear thin as opposed to a few items of the girlfriends ending up in the wash?

[WinterCat]

When I used to work 12 hour days plus a commute on top, I still managed to do my own laundry (and keep the house clean and tidy). I think your DS should do his own laundry and then anything of his girlfriend’s can be included in that. She probably has no idea you do his and, therefore, her dirty washing and would be mortified.

[CareBear50]

It's an odd one OP!!

Yes it prob is a bit cheeky and maybe needs to be nipped in the bud before it escalates. If you knew things weren't going to get more CFerry I'd prob continue as is. However, I think this could be a case of....give her an inch n she'll take a mile!

Maybe just out her dirty clothes in a bag back in his room??

[messolini9]

He works long hours, so I do his washing

Right.
So when he moves out, & presumably still works long hours, who will do his washing? The g/f?

Stop doing it for EITHER of them!

[conduitoffortune]

The stinginess regarding washing one pair of her pants seems at odds with washing all of your 26 year olds clothes like he is still your baby.

[BabyWenger]

Stop doing 26 YEAR OLDS WASHING!

Do you not see the threads on here with people moaning about their useless lazy husbands who cant do anything around the house because their DM did everything for them before they left home?

[Lynda07]

It's beyond me how a young woman would want someone else to wash her laundry, nobody should have to wash another woman's knickers if the owner is able bodied and there aren't many who would expect that. Horrible. I'd have been mortified, didn't even like my mum doing it after I reached puberty (she insisted unfortunately, had no sensitivity).

[Lynda07]

Sorry I should have finished the above.

Do speak to your son's girlfriend about this, it is so inappropriate and rather embarrassing.

[Fantasiaa]

You’re doing a 26 year old mans washing ?

You’re washing his girlfriends underwear ?


Your 26 year old still lives with you ?

( although, housing prices are high so I partially understand )

Crikey.

[redwoodmazza]

He needs a laundry basket for them both in his bedroom. Tell him to man up and do his own laundry - as well as anything she puts in it.

[potter5]

You are enabling him by doing his washing. Tell him no more washing and he will have to do it at the weekend.

She is being CF to even put her dirty stuff in his basket.

[flower1994]

Lynda07 horrible advice. she should be speaking to the son first. theres a strong chance that the girlfriend is not even aware that his mum is doing her washing - I cant imagine any 26 year old female I know being comfortable with their partners mum doing there underwear

[SisyphusLangClegRocks]

it's nice to be nice

Maybe the GF should be 'nice' and take her washing home instead of taking the piss and expecting OP to do it?

I agree with others that your son should do his own washing. Does he stay over at his GF's and expect her mother to wash his clothes?

[ChuckleBuckles]

He works long hours, so I do his washing. His GF is also 26 and lives with her parents. She stays over with DS two or three nights a week

So he lives there full time and you do all his washing, as she lives there part time do only some of her washing, maybe wash only one trouser leg? Or alternatively stop skivvying for a pair of able bodied adults and tell them it time to move out and adult in their own home.

[Beautiful3]

I would tell him to do their own washing on his days off.

[CatherineTheNotSoGreat]

Your DS and girlfriend are VERY unboundaried! I would have died of embarrassment if this happened to me.Jeez. The yoof of today!

I would not wash her clothes. It's taking the piss. Remove them from the laundry basket and leave them in your son's room. Anyway, I agree with the others here, he should be at least making an attempt to wash his own clothes. He can vote and drink beer, I think he can wash his own clothes.

But stop washing her clothes.

Or I suppose you could bill her. Like a hotel.

[Watermelontea]

Why isn’t he doing his own washing?! I think that’s the main issue. I have no issues with him living at home, as per a PP, it’s expensive out there and many are unable to save for a house whilst renting.
However doing his washing odd.

[ThumbWitchesAbroad]

WHy on earth isn't he doing his own (and her) washing himself?

[cheeseislife8]

Another one saying he should be doing his own washing! Lots of people work long hours, have ridiculous commutes and still get their laundry done

[Purpleartichoke]

I would have stopped doing his laundry the first time a girlfriends items ended up mixed in. He clearly has enough free time to do his own wash.

[Lunde]

Good grief DS is 26 and needs to do his own laundry

My DD has been doing her own laundry since she was 10!

[midwestspring]

My MIL often does my washing when we stay with her, sometimes we do it ourselves but honestly she doesn't really like us touching her washing machine.
But for all her faults she really is like a second mother so it doesn't feel too strange.

[dontgobaconmyheart]

Everyone works long hours OP. At 26 this would be laughable if it wasnt so depressing. Stop doing a grown mans washing, he and his DP should be embarrassed and are both CF but you're enabling it. I can't see why you'd be washing adults dirty underwear at all, it's no less CF when they are your sons garments, you're still being used as a maid.

I hope they do their share of other things around the house or at least pay adequate rent . Well overdue to sit down with them and say its stopping OP, they are on the approach to 30 fgs.

[GreenishPurple]

I think it's time to get DS to do his own laundry, and he can do his girlfriends too

[bank100]

I think your son should sort his own washing out regardless of working hours.
I am 4 years older than him, own my own place in london, have 2 kids, a husband who's the same age as me and we both work. We get our laundry done without any parental supervision and have done for years!

Wean him off over then next fortnight it you're kind and then he's on his own with it.