To stop DH teaching DS about countries/the world?

[NewNameEveryWeek]

DS is 16 months old. He seems pretty bright for his age (he can say 20+ words already) but DH seems to think that DS is a genius.

We've already had arguments because DH was trying to teach DS colours at 14 months old. DH would ask DS to bring him something red, and DS would usually look confused and fail, or sometimes randomly choose something that happened to be red and DH would take this as conclusive proof that DS knows colours now. It was frustrating to watch as DS looked so bewildered most of the time. I actually thought the way DH was going about it could be bad for DS's development, eg DS can understand what a dog is and will point them out and say "dog" and trying to get DS to associate brown dogs with the word "brown" as well as "dog" is a bit much at this stage if that makes sense.

Now DH is asking me to look for a globe or atlas for DS. He wants to teach him to eg point at Australia when DH asks him to. I haven't bought one yet as I think it's a pointless thing to teach DS at his age. With enough practice he probably could learn to point at the different counties/continents but it won't mean anything to him and he's be better off learning useful easy words first.

AIBU to tell DH we're not buying a globe?

Or should I just let him get on with it? He seems to want me to buy the globe though as he expects me to do all the shopping which is frustrating. I suppose it won't be as bad as the whole colours fiasco anyway.

What sort of tone or manner is DH using when he does this with DS?

If it is playful and fun then that is fine. If it is intimidating and he shows frustration when DS is unsure and may get it wrong then that would not be fine.

Getting a children's atlas or globe isn't necessarily a bad idea, though I would be telling him (DH) to source and order his own. He may have something specific in mind anyway. Not sure what you can get that would be suitable for a 16 month old and that would hold his interest, but it was a very long time ago when mine were that age.

Personally, I wouldn't go far beyond reading a story and playing suitable games at that age, but I liked to let children be children at that age. I never hot-housed mine or tried to pretend they were the next Einstein.

However, your DH is interacting with his child. Provided that he is not being intimidating and impatient then I would let it go for now.

can someone please tell me what is wrong with saying and pointing out colours?

Nothing wrong. You can say "ooh a red ball" "there's a brown dog" etc etc til you're blue in the face. But you don't ask a 16 month old to bring you something red - well not unless you are willing to smile and say "great! a green ball!" Otherwise you're just making the poor kid feel inadequate.

And there really are downsides to doing play or teaching that is not age appropriate. It makes children insecure and over dependent on adults for help and spoon feeding information, so they can't learn (or play) independently later.

Could you leave one of the gazillion books on "baby play" lying around? Most of them explain how different games help children develop and learn.

Your DH is allowed to make his own parenting mistakes though.

Nothing wrong with it at all, I taught my son to read 3 digit numbers on number plates by the age of 2. Now 5 years old, he's top of the class

Love the way that people have taken this post as an invitation to boast!

But you don't ask a 16 month old to bring you something red

I'm pretty sure ours did at that age. And no, that's really not a stealth boast - it's like walking and talking, it's a thing most of them will get at some point in the absence of an underlying issue, and they won't necessarily the same stuff at the same time. There is plenty of stuff ours can't do that other kids can and plenty of stuff she can do that other kids can't.

I don't think there's any harm in what your DH is doing provided it's done in the spirit of interaction and without exasperation if your son doesn't do the thing he's been asked to do.

Also, I have a little globe and whilst I agree that asking a child of that age to recognise continents is bonkers aspirational to say the least, she does really love twiddling the globe

Top of the class at age 5 I love MN.

lol it wasn't meant as a boast, just that little head starts make a huge difference to your child's life

I imagine your DH is going to get very excited when your small DS starts 'reading' his books from cover to cover.

Probably better not to tell him that in actual fact he's just remembering the words, having learned them by repitition.

I mostly just find the boasting funny, but I do also think that 'well, my child could talk in iambic pentameter by two because I read and talked to them lots' stuff can be quite insensitive - it really upsets a friend of mine with a child with a speech delay that people basically imply that their superior parenting is why their child can speak and hers can't.

DS will like the globe and enjoy spinning it round.
Maybe buy dh a book on early years education.

So what if a child learns by rote, the most important thing is that he's getting them interested books, in the feel of the pages, in the excitement of achieving.

Left wingers won't understand any of this of course

My DC knew colours from a weirdly young age, my DH thought she was a genius and wanted to push her to learn more. I sent him a video the next day of her trying to eat mud and shouting at worms. He concluded she probably wasn’t a genius, but we still try and teach her new things and she adapts to them quickly.

The only thing I’d tell him would be to not get his expectations too high and to get his own God damn globe.

Left wingers won't understand any of this of course

This thread is getting steadily more bizarre.

If done with love and understanding, no teaching is bad. If done with unrealistic expectations and disappointment at lack of results then it’s never good.

DD’s friend was ‘taught’ in the latter way from birth with serious expectations and control. She’s now suffering from sever anxiety & MH issues over it. So much pressure.

"top of the class at 5" Good grief... top colourer in-er 2020 medal coming up...

It could be worse. A friend's DH used to teach his toddler latin. I remember the poor lad being dragged out at a party to perform.
"Come on Oscar, you do know the latin for the hoopoe bird, I told you it yesterday!"

DH did that with DS when he was that age. Also jigsaw maps. He loved it. Now at 24 his geographical knowledge is way better than anyone else he knows. Not a huge amount of use, but fun and he's good on a quiz team.

Left wingers won't understand any of this of course

Way to show one's stupidity. Well done.

Left wingers won't understand any of this of course

And the most ridiculous response on mumsnet goes to youknow Your badge is in the post

This thread should go in classics.

@AmaryllisNightAndDay I already acknowledged the only issue would be if you were too get cross if they got it wrong. other than that I think its bizarre to berate a parent for saying colours or countries to their child. think some of you are waaay overthinking this

I find the posts saying how great it is that the husband talks to the child and takes an interest in him at all pretty alarming. Isn't that absolute bare minimum?

Why are posters pointing out that that this dad should be applauded for "interacting with his son as that's far better than not spending any time with him" There's some middle ground surely!

Sorry LisaSimpson I seem to have turned into your sock puppet

But Yes I agree. The mum shouldn't be on her knees with gratitude just because dad wants to spend time talking to his son!

@LisaSimpsonsbff I thought that too Speaks volumes!