To stop DH teaching DS about countries/the world?

[NewNameEveryWeek]

DS is 16 months old. He seems pretty bright for his age (he can say 20+ words already) but DH seems to think that DS is a genius.

We've already had arguments because DH was trying to teach DS colours at 14 months old. DH would ask DS to bring him something red, and DS would usually look confused and fail, or sometimes randomly choose something that happened to be red and DH would take this as conclusive proof that DS knows colours now. It was frustrating to watch as DS looked so bewildered most of the time. I actually thought the way DH was going about it could be bad for DS's development, eg DS can understand what a dog is and will point them out and say "dog" and trying to get DS to associate brown dogs with the word "brown" as well as "dog" is a bit much at this stage if that makes sense.

Now DH is asking me to look for a globe or atlas for DS. He wants to teach him to eg point at Australia when DH asks him to. I haven't bought one yet as I think it's a pointless thing to teach DS at his age. With enough practice he probably could learn to point at the different counties/continents but it won't mean anything to him and he's be better off learning useful easy words first.

AIBU to tell DH we're not buying a globe?

Or should I just let him get on with it? He seems to want me to buy the globe though as he expects me to do all the shopping which is frustrating. I suppose it won't be as bad as the whole colours fiasco anyway.

Oh it’s cute - and having an involved dad isn’t doing your ds any harm. Set your Dh up an amazon account and let him lavish the baby with whatever educational stuff he fancies.

‘Red dog, blue dog’ is a great colour and shape matching game for young ones. Mine could do it about 2, they’re geniuses obviously 😂

I agree @flower1994 - shock news, nice dad tries to engage his ds with educational and interactive chat - shoot him now!

This was a favorite parlour trick of my dd2's at 2.5-3. We'd stuck a map of the Europe on the wall and she'd taken a shine to it so one of my older dc taught her the names of all the countries. She learnt them all very quickly. We'd say, "Where's Denmark?" and she'd dutifully point at it with her pencil. Now she's approaching the end of primary & she's forgotten most of them!

And Yy to the beach ball globe, we had one (got punctured), mostly so we could reassure dd the bears were far away from her...

My BIL was like this with his DS. Getting him to learn stuff by rote and then reproduce it for adult approval.
The child can say hello in several different languages. But of course he doesn't understand the concept of languages or what he is actually doing so it isn't learning it's parroting.

The child is now 3 years old and is starting to refuse to produce what daddy wants and becomes stressed and then badly behaved when pushed (kicking, shouting, hitting). It's not nice to see and I feel really sorry for him.
The family tend to gush about how clever the child is and what an incredible vocabulary he has, etc. Perhaps but he demonstrates a lot of challenging behavior and never seems to be allowed to just play without it being turned into a lesson for him.

Yeah we should stimulate our kids but overstimulation is distressing for them.

In your shoes I wouldn't buy the globe because I don't think it's necessary or helpful so young but also because I'm not a personal shopper.

Isn't this pretty normal - countries is a slightly unusual place to start, but don't parents usually point out/repeat colours, letters, numbers, names of animals and so on to their babies? "Can you make a noise like a lion?" etc?

I loved when my kids said Enchanté when meeting someone new

Snort!

If I was trying to "hot house"

Wtf is hot housing a child?

Forcing them to learn monsterella

I'd leave him to buy his own baby flashcards etc and concentrate on playing.

I’d look for a kids atlas ...maybe something like Usborne ... when our kids were small I annotated one to show where we’d been and things we’d seen ...like koalas or Niagara Falls ...they loved looking at it ... nothing wrong with trying to develop some curiosity about the world

@peanutbuttermarmite glad it's not just me! cant believe some of the things I read on here sometimes. my daughter is only 3 months old, I read to her, say colours, play classical music to her, my partner has started randomly saying greetings and goodbyes in other languages to her when he leaves and comes home from work (just for fun!) do I think she is suddenly going to be able to speak fluent French? no, but I cant see how its harmful to have two parents who interact with their child. if dh wants to say countries and colours to his kid I really dont get the big issue!

I agree that talking and interaction (about anything) are good at this stage, but perhaps you should tell DH that he’s trying to get DS to run before he can walk.
Why not start with simple everyday vocabulary, colours, numbers to ten and letters, along with simple rhymes, songs and action games. DS will need all these before a detailed grasp of world geography! And yes, there is a big risk of “performing seal” syndrome. DH should not be grooming DS to impress the neighbours, but interacting with him for bonding, social/emotional development and early education. And if DS gets bewildered or stressed then DH should stop, reassure him, and switch to a less taxing fun activity.
Sitting together while DH reads him a story and shows him the pictures is a good gentle way to encourage literacy.

DH would ask DS to bring him something red, and DS would usually look confused and fail, or sometimes randomly choose something that happened to be red

Trial and error is how kids learn, isn't it? How else do you want him to learn his colours?

My DS knew his colours at that age. I don't think this is your DH is being particularly outrageous or unreasonable in spending 1-2-1 time trying to educate his child on colours.

That said, I do think it is a bit gimmicky to want a child that age to know countries before they know things like numbers, letters, clothes, animals, vehicles, sports, furniture, family relationships etc. There are plenty of posters and things that you could get as a compromise though. What about something like this: www.amazon.com/Wallchart-First-Learning-My-ABC/dp/1785572253?tag=mumsnetforu03-21 ?

So your DH is interacting and teaching your DC and you think thats bad?
DC will always have a bemused look as everything is new, unless your parenting method is not to teach them anything.
I would leave them to it. Frankly you sound jealous and controlling.

As for the getting the globe it really depends who is able to get the item most easily ( although I understand certain ppl feel that the DH should always be blamed for something), my DH works close to a store that sells certain brand items I like. If we run out or I ask him, he will get them- He wont say I dont like them so get it yourself - and I am surprised that some of the comments seem to suggest he should do.

@flower1994 I agree with you as I have a toddler just a bit older than the OPs who counts 1-10 in English and French, "reads" letters and says her colours. They are often more wrong than right which I find amusing.

Then again I know adults who are now in their twenties from when they were babies who did this as well.

Maybe her dh is desperately excited to teach ds a love for travel? Hardly matters. My old boss used to play piano to his 6 month old and try and ‘teach’ it to him - cute.

Any two way interaction without someone being cross is going to benefit a baby in some way.

Sounds lovely @flower1994

It can't do any harm. Though he should buy the globe if he wants it.

You might also mention to him that teaching your child to count cards is also a useful skill.

You can compromise and buy a ball-globe.
That way, your DS can kick it in the countries your DH asks him to.

And at the risk of sounding rude, you can tell your DH that your baby is not a trained monkey.

It’s no different to „dress for the job you want, not the job you have“. High expectations never harmed anyone!

(Disclaimer — as long as he isn’t actually ticking him off or looking really disappointed when he gets it wrong. Obviously.)

Speaking as a teacher. Please don't hot house your preschool child. It's not at all good for them, they don't retain it and it damages their MH and enthusiasm for education. Not least because if they have prelearnt the full curriculum then they will be bored and precocious in school.
Teach them to basically read at age 4 if you must, but not full curriculum.
Read some educational theory books or even better do a degree in educational psychology and then post graduate qualifications and years of experience if you know best.

Play appropriate to the age group.
Sand, water, blocks, stacking, paper scrunching, hide and seek, rhyming, songs and games. Make it always fun.

Also, personally:
Don't let DH be overbearing father he has to please, unless he wants to be hated in later life by DS.

It's not going to do him any harm and he'll love the attention.

I don't know why you'd stop him: seems way over the top. Let him get on with it. In the worst case scenario he'll just get on your son's nerves and your son will disengage. In the best case scenario he'll really benefit.

Papiermachecat - I cannot imagine how a 16 month olds mental health is going to be damaged by being shown colours or have countries pointed out to them on a spinning ball. oh and fyi being precocious is not a negative thing, the way you're using the word is quite derogatory. big jump to suggest the son will hate his father too

I agree @flower1994 also my 19month old dd can say 150 words consistently and it's because we read a lot of different books everyday and talk to her all day. Their brains are like sponges at this age and I can't understand why it's a bad thing to try to teach your child new things.