To give up my high flying career for a menial job?

[WalterWx]

I’m relatively young (30), single and work in a very senior role for an international company in the city. The field I work in is specialist and complex. Nothing is black and white, an awful amount of thought and research is required before being able to make decisions and the implications of a wrong decision on my part would be catastrophic for both the company and my career. I have achieved a lot and trained hard for years to get to where I am, but the buck stops with me and I’m in a role where the learning never ends. I leave work most days feeling stressed and mentally exhausted from the responsibility of it all. I used to dream of having the responsibility and salary that I have now, but now I’m living the life I dreamed of I find it absolutely draining and it’s sucking the life out of me. Sometimes I wish I could just leave, take on a role with much less responsibility and accept the massive pay cut which would come with it. Friends and family don’t seem to understand and all appear shocked that anyone would want to give up such a high flying career at my age when I’ve got such a bright future ahead of me. Comments such as “you’ll be bored in a menial job!”, “why would you throw away your career?”, “but we thought you were so ambitious!” Etc.

AIBU? Surely other people have done this and I’d love to know if you regretted it.

I get it. I'm 39 and in a high flying city job running a business area for a large global firm. Today I had 13 meetings (most days are similar) and am expected to make decisions in each one. The weight of the responsibility is completely exhausting. I'm responsible for revenue in the millions, thousands of clients, targets, strategy, and it's a tonne of pressure. I often wake up at night thinking of work.

Is it worth it? I'm honestly not sure. Watch out for life style creep and becoming reliant on the money.

I had to step down from a stressful managerial job due to health issues. I now work at a lower grade and I do really enjoy it but there are still some really stressful elements and things to keep me awake at night even at a lower level.

I did this. I got very bored very quickly and I really felt the difference in my take home pay. Luckily after three months the company went bust and now I'm back in a similar role to the one I left, and with a much higher paycheck.

Think about how much you would be happy to live comfortably on and try and find a job that will still challenge you but maybe has less responsibility, rather than 'menial'
A recruiter will be able to see the skills you already have and maybe find a sideways move

Can you set up your own consultancy?

• being skint is really, really not fun
• working a low skilled job where you can be replaced the next day does not give you any leverage to discuss anything you want - flexible working, work from home, compressed hours, benefits etc. You do what the employer tells you to do.
• as PP said, experience makes a huge difference. I don't work harder than my 30 year old colleagues, I work smarter. I'm more confident in my decisions, so I don't wake up in the middle of the night, worrying I missed something or made a mistake.

I did it. Never regretted it. Give it a try, you're young enough to change your mind

I would save money for a property then buy somewhere with a big down payment and low mortgage and then retrain in a less pressured role.

I had a very good career, kids came, need school hours (for now) I work in two menial roles and frankly, it is soul destroying. People treat you like shit because they assume you are stupid and poor.

If you are working on the sell side of your industry, what are the opportunities like on the buy side? You already understand the territory and the issues, but it is often gentler if you are the customer. In my industry (and a while ago TBH), agency people often got picked out and offered jobs in industry because they were great and (whatever) industry wanted their insights.

I would agree with everyone who is telling you not to trade down for an easier life. Life is always easier when you are the customer, with the need and the money to spend.

Work to live, not live to work. My parents, especially my father, regretted putting work ahead of life. No one says you can't go back to that kind of work in the future if you want to.

Being poor is stressful too. As is being the bottom rung on the ladder with everyone telling you what to do and blaming you for their bad decisions.

YANBU to change jobs but dont be fooled into thinking that menial work means no stress.

Menial? Get over yourself

Don’t do it

Not withstanding ZombieMum's reassurance, it ain't true. Once you are off the fast track, it's virtually impossible to get back on.

Well, I have a job where a mistake doesn’t just affect a company or my career but might cost the life of a child. I’m wondering if some perspective might reduce the stress.

Some of the most stressful jobs you do will actually involve a lot less responsibility. It’s a pretty stressful thing to work somewhere where you’re bullied, or your input is ignored or you feel like you have no agency or control over your working day. I’d work on stress management before I left a career, especially at such an early stage (as you’re 30).

Menial jobs are not stress-free. I've had a few when I was younger and it's just a different kind of stress.

Depending what you class as a menial job, yes you will likely be bored, and counting pennies isn't fun. That said, as it sounds that your role is affecting you negatively, are there any transferable skills that would allow you to work in a different organisation? Doing a different role? Money isn't everything, but it doesn't need to be either or, going from one extreme to another is bound to be challenging.

XingMing, her skills base sounds ample to move through a variety of fields, and many people change careers in their thirties and up. Maybe it's the fast track that's the problem. 5 of my much senior colleagues have taken early retirement after long term sick leave (stress and depression). 2 others have between able to redefine their role. The head of dept is planning to retire at 55 because he's worried about the burn out he's seen in colleagues and friends. They've all taken a financial hit, but they've got their lives back.

Can you take a sideways step ? It seems a real shame to take a low paid job ,when you have achieved so much .Many people who work as waitresses /cleaning etc often take it as a temporary step while supporting themselves at Uni or whatever . I think to have a look around and apply for other jobs at a similar level elsewhere Maybe your Company is not very well run ?

I took a 20k a year pay cut and a part time job that was easy for me. I started at 10am each day and was bored out of my brain by 11am. I did it for a couple of years because we were going thru some tricky times with my eldest and the priority at that time was to be around at home. I’m now back to my previous type of role, more senior than before and with an added London commute (I do wfh a lot too), I often joke that I will one day drastically reduce my hours to full time (I work a lot of extra hours) but I truly love what I do, it never really feels like work and I know I’m lucky. Only you can decide what works best for you, I have no regrets about doing it as my family needed me but I wouldn’t want to need to do it again.

I felt like you do. In the end I took a sideways move into a different organisation, with a very different (supportive) culture. I have blossomed in my role. I have been promoted 3 times and have much bigger responsibilities, but I love it, because I am genuinely part of a senior team that pulls together.
A coach might be a god idea to help you work out what would make the biggest difference to you.

Having responsibility can be stressful but being at the bottom of a hierarchy can be unenjoyable too. Especially if you are used to being the decision maker.

I wouldn’t advise you throw it all in, but work through it. Unless you find the stress us impacting your mh too much, then I’m not sure.

"Bullied" is an interesting and very variable scale. I have had presentations ridiculed at board level by senior directors of FTSE companies... because my knowledge was shallower then theirs. I have also been ridiculed by 13 year olds, just because they weren't enjoying following the teacher's instruction. Ignorance and indifference is much more difficult to tolerate, especially when a lot more time went into the teaching. At least the industry people were interested to learn and consider new ideas, even if they weren't sold.

Like others are saying, tempting as it is to jack it in, it's not the answer. Look at stress management and sideways moves.

I know a few people who have left high flying jobs only to be just as stressed working as a waitress in a local pub. The reality of working for minimum wage, job insecurity and a lower status compared to what their previous job gave them was a shock.

My DH is another person stressed and wanting to Jack in a good job he has worked so hard to get. He creates his own stress by the high expectations he sets himself and inability to say no. Frustrating to see and live with!

ZombieMum, that argument I can buy into and endorse, but I'd still say that in any slightly creative field, you need to keep proving yourself to remain employable. BUT, I don't know anything at all about working in the Civil Service or the NHS.