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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who should stay?

66 replies

Calic0 · 25/02/2020 06:47

DH and I both work for the same organisation. Both the same grade. Both earn the same. Both have the same flexibilities.

This morning we wake up to a boiler that is dripping water and smelling strongly of burning rubber. Said boiler packed up altogether yesterday but DH fixed it using a video he found on You Tube. This morning suggests there is more of a problem than he initially thought and needs immediate attention.

I am due to attend a training course today, 2 hrs away by train, all travel and training booked. DH is currently coordinating an ongoing recruitment event and is the SPOC for all candidates, interviewers etc. for interviews taking place today.

It’s a crappy day for either of us to have to take off (hence furious pyjama clad row at 6am!) But given that DH has work phone and computer with him, I don’t see any reason why he can’t “co-ordinate” from home (and, indeed, he couldn’t come up with anything he needs to do which requires him to be onsite if asked). However, although there would be a cost involved to missing the training course, I have to admit that while it will be useful, it is not absolutely vital.

So who, in this instance, should stay?

OP posts:
theendoftheendoftheend · 25/02/2020 06:49

He should

bigchris · 25/02/2020 06:51

You should

CalleighDoodle · 25/02/2020 06:52

He should. He can work from home. You Can’t. There’s no good reason he should go in when he can work from home and you can’t.

  1. What are his reasons for thinking you should stay and he should go tow work?
  2. Do you have children? Are you planning children?
milienhaus · 25/02/2020 06:53

Turn the boiler off, suffer a bit for one day/night and get someone in tomorrow if it’s a better day?

BogOffJanuary · 25/02/2020 06:53

He should, you’re training and travel has already been paid.

BogOffJanuary · 25/02/2020 06:54

@milienhaus it is not advised to leave a boiler that smells like burning. It could be dangerous even if switched off.

BigBairyHollocks · 25/02/2020 06:56

He should

Original poster
Calic0 · 25/02/2020 06:58

@CalleighDoodle - no kids, no plans for kids. He wants to be hand in case of a recruitment based emergency (I don’t know either..!) He takes his responsibilities seriously, I get that.

@milienhaus the smell of burning freaked me out I must admit - don’t want to risk leaving it.

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 25/02/2020 06:58

He should.

I don't understand the argument

skankingpiglet · 25/02/2020 06:58

Do you already know a heating engineer? If so I'd leave them a key out and both go to work. DH can pop back at lunch time to check all is going to plan. If this isn't an option, DH works from home until engineer arrives, then goes into work for a bit and returns early/for lunch if necessary.

Giroscoper · 25/02/2020 07:01

He should, he can work from home.

You can't as you are on a training course.

CalleighDoodle · 25/02/2020 07:02

He takes his possible chance of an added recruitment responsibility today seriously.

He does not take your already made responsibilities seriously at all.

There is no actual reason he needs to be in work.

He just thinks his job is More important than yours.

Original poster
Calic0 · 25/02/2020 07:04

@skankingpiglet - that would be an ideal solution but unfortunately we need to source said engineer first.

OP posts:
lumpy76 · 25/02/2020 07:08

*He takes his possible chance of an added recruitment responsibility today seriously.

He does not take your already made responsibilities seriously at all.

There is no actual reason he needs to be in work.

He just thinks his job is More important than yours.
*
^this!

He should stay at home if he wants the boiler fixed today!

Original poster
Calic0 · 25/02/2020 07:09

@CalleighDoodle it did feel a little bit like that this morning, yes. And it’s not a dynamic I’ve experienced before.

To add: I am now on the train, so I did go and he stayed. But he was very obviously not happy about it.

OP posts:
GinisLife · 25/02/2020 07:14

It might all become a none event as you'll be quite lucky to get someone to come out same day at this time of year. Good heating engineers will be booked already. I'd have turned it off, established when an engineer could come and then had the discussion as to who stayed and who went. Glad you went though.

pussycatinboots · 25/02/2020 07:16

Bit late as I see you've decided Grin

But as he's tinkered with it, he needed to stay so he could explain to the engineer how he'd broken it Wink

Original poster
Calic0 · 25/02/2020 07:19

@GinisLife (love the username!) we’ve been lucky as apparently I’ve had a text to say someone has just arrived.

@pussycatinboots yes, I must admit that DID cross my mind but to say as much this morning would have not been politic!

OP posts:
NightsOfCabiria · 25/02/2020 07:22

Ive never heard of ‘a recruitment emergency.’

WTF?

Glad you got it sorted though.

Frenchw1fe · 25/02/2020 07:30

For future reference your dh should not be ‘fixing’ boilers.

Disfordarkchocolate · 25/02/2020 07:36

He should. He was the idiot who thought he could fix a gas boiler from a video he found on the internet. He can sit at home being thankful he's not planning a funeral.

TotesGodsWill · 25/02/2020 07:38

He should, he can work from home but you can’t attend a training course from home

In the event of a recruitment emergency Hmm he can communicate with staff from home and delegate if needed

rwalker · 25/02/2020 07:40

just ready your update TBH I'd say you were both level pegging.
I would of turned boiler off done with out and picked up £10 fan heater up at dinner for heat tonight.

RiftGibbon · 25/02/2020 07:41

Given that he "fixed", he was better placed to speak with the engineer about what he'd done. Also, you didn't have the option to do your training from home, whilst he did.

As someone has turned up early,it's possible that DH could just get into work a little later than usual.

JoshArcherStoleMyTractor · 25/02/2020 07:42

Is he actually interviewing today? If so you should've stayed, training courses come up fairly regularly and it's not fair to cancel interviews people will have prepped for/been anxious about. If he's not the actual recruiter just the administrator he should have everything in place before the day of interviews and can deal with any queries remotely.

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