Who should stay?

[Calic0]

DH and I both work for the same organisation. Both the same grade. Both earn the same. Both have the same flexibilities.

This morning we wake up to a boiler that is dripping water and smelling strongly of burning rubber. Said boiler packed up altogether yesterday but DH fixed it using a video he found on You Tube. This morning suggests there is more of a problem than he initially thought and needs immediate attention.

I am due to attend a training course today, 2 hrs away by train, all travel and training booked. DH is currently coordinating an ongoing recruitment event and is the SPOC for all candidates, interviewers etc. for interviews taking place today.

It’s a crappy day for either of us to have to take off (hence furious pyjama clad row at 6am!) But given that DH has work phone and computer with him, I don’t see any reason why he can’t “co-ordinate” from home (and, indeed, he couldn’t come up with anything he needs to do which requires him to be onsite if asked). However, although there would be a cost involved to missing the training course, I have to admit that while it will be useful, it is not absolutely vital.

So who, in this instance, should stay?

Considering he could just as easily work from home, he should of course.

I would not be able to resist asking tonight about the recruitment emergencies that came up.
He probably felt like he’d done ‘his turn’ already by tinkering with it!

I agree with a pp. Fixing the pressure in the boiler is a simple task I’ve done several times myself, also from google videos! It’s just two small taps on the outside of the boiler, you shouldn’t be opening the boiler up. I myself would never do that. If this is all he did then no it isn’t his fault it’s messed up. Unless he did it spectacularly wrongly, but I can’t see how.

I think it was right that he was the one to stay home though as he did have the option to work remotely.

He should stay , if only to teach him that you don't potentially put your family at risk by fixing a boiler following "instructions" on YouTube.

Can't you just make sure everything is turned off and safe and organise a repair person to come tomorrow? Yes it would be difficult tonight and tomorrow morning but I'm sure you'd manage. Fill up kettles and saucepans with water to be heated.

I'm not sure, actually. If we were in this situation and my husband had a training event and I was coordinating a large event where everyone else was going to be on-site, I'd expect him to rebook the training (and vice versa). He might not be able to put his finger on why he needs to be on-site, but obviously coordinating a large event with lots of different people doing different things who are all on the same site is miles easier if you're actually there, as opposed to being at home and reliant on the internet working.

Also, don't either of you have line managers you could have asked? The business might want you to go to the event or it might prefer to write off the cost of the ticket and event and rebook it.

I do appreciate that training can be time-critical too so I'm not assuming that your training wasn't more important but I don't think he was being unreasonable to argue the toss.

The DH stayed at home.

Another engineer is booked for tomorrow.

I'm just saying that I don't see the OP's DH as comprehensively dismissing the value of her work because he thought she should stay at home today. Unless there's a pattern like that, which she says there isn't.

RecectaclefortheRespectable is right that it should be possible to repressurise the boiler but it does depend on the model. I can’t do mine (it’s far too fiddly to reach) but I did once have one that was easier to do.

Definitely agree that as the person who tinkered with it, he should have stayed at home. Good luck tomorrow.

I am sure you were going to get a totally unbiased responses on here, especially as you asked the question in such a fair and equitable way.....

I'd have turned everything off, electric, water and both did our work commitments

If the problem was lack of pressure then the solution would have been to top up the water circulating If he tried this and it still didn't work, then anyone blaming him for tinkering or opening up the system in a dangerous way is just wrong.

The whole question about who stays at home for emergencies when you both work and there are no children is a really critical one. Let's hope you can solve it as a team.

Do either of you really need to be at home for it? Just go to a trusted company and leave a key for them or drop the keys to their office in the morning. I work for a home improvement company including boiler repairs etc and the customer usually says 'keys will be under the plant pot!' Or sometimes they ask if the engineer can nip by their work for the keys which we will do but they will be charged for the engineers time to collect the keys as part of the job. A gas engineer is usually on quite a high hourly rate and has gone through qualifications to get that job so they aren't interested in nicking anything from the house and losing their job over it. Usually you can tell the receptionist the issue and they will note it so no one actually needs to be there

@Calic0 - Just wondering if you made a decision and who stayed home today?

Surely disconnect it and get someone in the following day if it doesn't suit either of you?

I'm amazed that getting someone to come out on the first day after a boiler breaks down is an option. I consider myself luck if it's not more than a week.