To be shocked at this level of aggression?

[Glitterzzz]

Hi guys. I dropped my son to nursery this morning as usual and pulled out of a junction onto the road. It was raining and hard visibility but I did check each way.

I pull out to hear a few seconds later a beep sound from the driver behind. I immediately realise my mistake and think fair enough I deserve that maybe I didn’t check enough? He was not anywhere near crashing into me given the few seconds and then the beep and then I looked in my rear view mirror.

We proceed to drive along the road where I pull in on the left as was going to the post office. He gives me the finger and revs his van behind me. I come to a stop and he drives up the side car to car and opens his passenger window. I also open my window half way.

He screams at me I nearly caused an accident. I said look I made a mistake but why are you being so aggressive ? He immediately starts screaming names at me your a fucking prick , your a stupid bitch, and so on. I lost my cool and said well your a fucking dickhead then. At this point he goes to put his van in park and grapples at his seatbelt as if he was going to come out of his veichle.

I mentally noted that my doors were locked, and I don’t know if he saw I had a camera in my car but he didn’t exit the veichle. He then continues to scream abuse and ends it with telling me ‘ your a FUCKING WHORE ‘ that’s what you are a fucking whore then drives off... I checked the van for a company name but none. Didn’t get his plate number but was really shaken over this.

On reflection I shouldn’t have even put my window down. But I said straight away I made a mistake .. where do we draw the line of thinking it’s okay to be this aggressive and verbally insulting someone ? Plenty of times I’ve not been happy with another driver but don’t even beep unless it’s serious ..

I have a dash cam could probs get his reg off that. But is this even a crime ? I hate to think how he speaks to females in his own life. It was when I shot back a verbal insult ( after many from him) that I could see his shock and that’s and he was gesturing that he was going to get out the car... still a bit shaken now !

Why did you even engage? he was hardly going to turn into sweetness and light, was he? You shouldn’t even have wound down your window. He wasn’t going to be giving you a compliment. In future just ignore.

Yep I agree. I made a mistake for sure but.. again I just am genuinely shocked that someone would think it’s okay to be that abusive .. maybe I’ve Been lucky on the road so far ( 5 years driving never had any abuse )

I'm not surprised you're shaken. That's horrible and I agree - doesn't bode well for the women in his life.

However I'm afraid on MN you'll just get posters blaming you for making a mistake and justifying anything he said or did. Is just the way people are online. Anything to have a dig at someone behind a screen.

Don't let it upset you. Don't engage again just drive away or ignore

That sounds horrible. I too wonder how people can get so angry and worked up about minor things. Although you shouldn’t have put your window down, I feel the poster who blamed you for engaging is victim blaming. But for future, for your own safety, don’t react/engage at all as there are some highly aggressive people out there looking for a fight .

He started it, you kept going. You are lucky he didn't get out to get physical frankly.

Of course it's not OK, but it's not ok to steal your purse or your car either. Sadly, shit happens.

I don't even understand what you mean by "pulling out" and being in the wrong. If he was behind you, you didn't cut in front of him?

feel the poster who blamed you for engaging is victim blaming.

I wish people could forget about that stupid expression. It's not victim blaming to point out that getting engaged in a shouting match and insulting each other is the best way to avoid conflict. People end up being punched for that, why would you do that?

It is shocking and terrifying. YAnbu There are some total nutters out there.
I had someone stop in front of me in the fast lane of the m4 and get out to shout at me while traffic swerved around us.

Never ever engage. Always keep your doors locked. If you feel threatened, drive to the car park of the local police station or somewhere there are cameras and people, like a petrol station forecourt.

It’s horrible

He must’ve been driving pretty fast if you looked and did see him, but as you said you made a mistake. Best to just let it go but horrible to happen and I’d feel a bit shaken too.

Near me, people seem to have an issue with roundabouts, I was driving my kids home from school a couple of weeks ago and 3 people pulled out in front of me one then cut across my lane in front of me cutting me off all 3 caused me to break and by the time I got home I was quite grumpy. People don’t take enough time when driving and seem to want to be places as fast as possible so don’t care about the rules of the road or other people on the road - not saying this is you op it’s just frustrating when you’re careful and safe and others are driving about like idiots -

Sorry you had this. I experienced similar but in my case I beeped the other driver as he decided to do a uturn in the middle of a road with cars approaching in both directions! He followed me for ages shouting and screaming, everytime we stopped at the lights I could see and hear him gesticulating and shouting still! It was I was truly shook up for a long time afterwards.

Honestly, people are absolutely crazy! You have no clue what anyone else has going and who may or may not be a psycho. This may sound extreme but you just have to be careful.

Oh god OP are you okay now? That would have really shaken me up

There's no way he's never made a driving mistake in his life. I'm not even sure that you did, it sounds like you did your best to check. He may have been going too fast, or wasn't paying attention.

He clearly has other stuff going on and was taking it out on you.

People don’t take enough time when driving and seem to want to be places as fast as possible

just read all the threads that keep popping up on here about posters outraged that someone dares driving under the speed limit at all.

Didn’t see I meant

I'm afraid on MN you'll just get posters blaming you for making a mistake and justifying anything he said or did

If people do make such comments, they are idiots.

If you have time to beep, you have time to brake

Although you shouldn’t have put your window down, I feel the poster who blamed you for engaging is victim blaming. But for future, for your own safety, don’t react/engage at all

You said the exact same thing as me

Thanks everyone. Yes I’m fine now. I was shaking like a leaf afterwards for about half an hour. I’m lucky that my son had been dropped off at nursery I guess. I only wish he was driving a company van !

It’s easily said but I’d guess he was in a shit mood before this happened and was only too happy to have someone to take it out on. I don’t think anyone is thinking it’s “okay” when they are shouting at someone and being intimidating - they are simply in rage mode.

It's no coincidence that his insults were all misogynist, is it? Nasty prick.

Awful, op, there's no excuses

That’s awful op. It’s duckheads like him that make me anxious when I’m driving, especially in areas I’m unfamiliar with.

I don’t know why some people are so aggressive or feel the need to be so rude and threatening.

Big, virtual hugs to you.

I wish it was easy to signal to other drivers “I’m sorry, I was wrong” but there doesn’t seem to be a universal “sorry” hand gesture.

If it helps, I’ve been in the wrong lane, tried to indicate to move across, got totally blocked dead in by a lorry driver who was just honking on his horn as if that would make me invisible or something. I always try to be courteous and mindful of other drivers. You never know if they’ve just passed their test or foreigners on the ‘wrong’ side of the road or coming back from registration of a death. There’s lots of reasons people mess up, it’s not usually a big deal to me, I just give them space to get into the correct lane or whatever.

I feel your pain.

Horrible bully pig threatening to take off his belt. I don't blame you shaking, you see so much road rage.

Ack, we've all been there Glitterzzz, we feel your pain. And it is crazy when they shout things you. One time, we had a man verbally abuse us as we tutted over his parking right on the zeds near the school. Then he followed us to our car (that was parked well away from the school), honking and shouting abuse at us. My friend told him he was being rude, and we both got in the car and ignored him. She got in the car and smiled and said, I know who he is! He's going to regret this! Turns out he was the spouse of a mum she did favours for. We had a VERY sheepish apology from the ranter the next day. LOL. But I still think, you arsehole! every time I see him.

What are the odds that he was driving too fast in poor condtions, and probably didn't have his lights on?

Anyone can make errors on the road, but I like to maximise my chances of being seen to minimise that regardless of who's being a plonker.

Whatever the rights and wrongs of pulling out and not seeing him approach, there is zero excuse for that lèvel of anger, agression and misogenistic abuse.

There are dickheads everywhere.

Maybe wouldn't have behaved like that if you were a bloke.

He probably go home and kick his cat or wife or something?

Shocking and terrifying, people get very territorial about their vehicles, a woman dared to challenge him whilst he was in in his vehicle ...she must be punished.
If you had been a large fit/muscular man no way would have risked a verbal attack because of the chances of it escalating into a physical attack where he got his ass handed to him
he did it because he knew he could get away with it, because he knew you wouldn't retaliate