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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have shouted at DP for weirdness / dopeyness?

149 replies

SmashedPumpkinz · 24/02/2020 07:43

DP is incapable of thinking for himself. He has no initiative and it’s driving me crazy. Some of his behaviours are so odd and weird and it’s starting to really irritate me.

I’ve just bought a hard floor cleaner/vacuum. I was spending all day yesterday painting woodwork and DP was just sat there not knowing what to do. So I asked him to use the new floor cleaner for the first time. It’s cordless and I’d spent the previous day charging the battery (which only works for 45 mins). The whole house needed a floor clean. I heard him turn it on and it didn’t sound like it was actually moving so admittedly I thought he’d turned it on so I could hear it but had then just sat down. I was fuming. I went in to check and walked in to the cleaner on full blast stationary in the middle of the floor and DP just stood there looking at it suspiciously. I said “what are you doing???” He said “I’m just working it out”. I get mad and turned it off saying “what is there to work out?? You turn it on and move it across the floor!!! You don’t stand there watching it drain it’s battery!”

He decided that he didn’t like my attitude towards him at the point and refused to continue with it. He did fuck all yesterday ... everything he was supposed to do he literally spent the entire time “working it out” ... changing light bulbs, fixing the bed, cleaning the floors, fixing the fence ... none done as he was too busy “working it out”

OP posts:
Dozer · 24/02/2020 07:46

YANBU to be pissed off if he’s not doing his fair share of domestic work/DIY (or organising someone else to do the DIY if he’s poor at it) but YABU to shout. Did you inform him that the vacuum only has 45 mins battery?

pussycatinboots · 24/02/2020 07:48

I think the problem he now has is that you have worked out that he is purely for decoration only.

AutumnCrow · 24/02/2020 07:50

He can't change a light bulb?

BarbaraofSeville · 24/02/2020 07:52

Does he do this at work?

carlyclock · 24/02/2020 07:54

Does he have learning difficulties? Has he always been like this? Any recent changes?

ohnooutofdateham · 24/02/2020 07:54

GrinGrinGrinsorry op, this really made me laugh.

AgeOld · 24/02/2020 08:06

I love that he didn't like your attitude and so the only thing possible for him to therefore do was to sit on his arse for the rest of the day.
Isn't that convenient.

Is love to be one of these people who gets to flounce off when asked to do something.

My ex used to be outraged a lot and simply had to go marching out to the pub or wherever he'd planned on going anyway.

Winterwoollies · 24/02/2020 08:07

This would drive me bonkers. What’s to work out?!

bugbhaer · 24/02/2020 08:09

I’d google dyspraxia and check out the symptoms.

hononamesleft · 24/02/2020 08:10

is he dyspraxic?

Pinkarsedfly · 24/02/2020 08:12

I had one of these.

Had

Charles11 · 24/02/2020 08:12

It’s a great way to get out of actually doing anything.
I wouldnt put up with this.

LangSpartacusCleg · 24/02/2020 08:13

Two questions for you -

  1. Is there any reason to think his behaviour will change?
  1. How long are you willing to put up with his behaviour? A week? A month? A year? A lifetime?
GothamProtector · 24/02/2020 08:13

I love that he didn't like your attitude and so the only thing possible for him to therefore do was to sit on his arse for the rest of the day.
Isn't that convenient

This!! I'd turn around and tell him you don't like him being a useless twat.

Seriously this take give me the rage so I'm sorry you have to live with him.

Is he rich? Good in bed?

Whynosnowyet · 24/02/2020 08:14

Think you have my exh....

adaline · 24/02/2020 08:14

Surely he's always been like this?

Why has it only just started to piss you off?

ineedaholidaynow · 24/02/2020 08:14

Does he work?

Rinoachicken · 24/02/2020 08:14

Has he always been like this?

CameraTime · 24/02/2020 08:15

Oh, OP, I get you! DH is the same (except that he wouldn't sit down and do nothing; he'd go crashing around noisily doing something else). He always has to "figure out how it works" and it takes him AGES! He seems to lack the ability to just "get it", and he can't follow instructions because he won't read them properly, plus he's incredibly impatient. Drives me mad.

Does yours also spend ages doing simple tasks? DH can spend 20 minutes ironing a t-shirt, by the time he gets the ironing board out, sets it to exactly the right height, gets the iron out, sets it up, puts water in, gets kitchen roll to carefully place over the motif (because for some unknown reason he thinks you can't possibly iron it directly, but a sheet of kitchen roll will magically protect it), irons it, then puts it all away again (apart from the kitchen roll, which is ALWAYS left lying on the floor). I rarely iron t-shirts, but if I do need to, I can do it in about a minute - grab iron, chuck t-shirt on carpet inside out, iron quickly before iron gets too hot and melts the carpet, done.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 24/02/2020 08:19

Definitely a case for justifiable homocide.

Coolcucumber2020 · 24/02/2020 08:24

Don’t shout at him!

It doesn’t matter if he took ages to work it out. You are not his mum. He obviously can’t help being like this and you chose him.

Apologize for shouting.

puds11 · 24/02/2020 08:25

Hmmm tricky. On the one hand, I find people who arent practical utterly infuriating. On the other hand I know someone who believes her partner is useless and speaks to him like utter shit. It’s awful to hear. If you are doing that then YABU.

PrincessHoneysuckle · 24/02/2020 08:25

I'm sorry op but he sounds thick as shit tbh

ShadowCats · 24/02/2020 08:28

He obviously can’t help being like this and you chose him.

If he can hold down a job, he most definitely can help being like this.

GabriellaMontez · 24/02/2020 08:31

Do you have children together? If not reconsider this relationship. If he's driving you to justifiable rage already its not going to get any better.

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