What's the most ridiculous of astonishing lie you've ever heard?

[SingleSidedShoulderShrug]

Just genuinely interested! Mine is that a colleague of mine told us her dad had died. So good she go home early? Of course we said he's who wouldn't say yes to that.. shame she didn't tell her dad he was meant to be dead or that she'd left early to grieve him as he picked her up as usual. Came in to ask where she was... we were like umm.. she's grieving you ? 😱

My favourite came from a 6-year-old: 'My teacher isn't at school today. She's gone to the moon in a rocket!' (Well, I'm sure it would have been more interesting than the staff meeting she was attending.)

Not hijacking just passing through
@HerRoyalFattyness
Sorry to hear last part, hope you are OK. 🍷🍫💐

@Bubblemonkey yep, we were all chortling too. After we stopped rolling our eyes. She was an absolute pain.

It was nearly 20 years ago that I had to deal with that woman, and me and the husband still take the piss if the other seems to be malingering: “what’s up with you? Diabetes of the leg again?”

Being a 42nd cousin of someone means you share a great(x41)grandparent. The pope will have thousands of 42nd cousins (as will everyone else). It may have been made up, or the girl's parents may just have been very into researching their family tree.

Given that 41 generations back would take you back around 1000 years then my money is on the latter - that's some genealogy skills, and to do it for the pope too!

Wow some of these are jaw dropping, this must be the same people from the CF thread.

An old colleague told us when she was 15 she’d gone abroad with her dad and had delivered a baby by c section with a broken bottle. Weirdly she’s now an obstetrician.

Someone saying they had gone to LA on holiday, they'd actually gone to Blackpool.

My StbExH once told me an elaborate tale about how the scar on his bum cheek was from when he was shot by a jealous boyfriend while climbing out of a girls bedroom window. Turned out he had a mole removed. This was before I married him and I really should have learned then....

Fair enough, SinkGirl I stand corrected. Poor chap.
I don't suppose, though, that he regaled his chums with tales of the family trip back to "the old country"; my pupil was not old enough to have the wit to keep quiet about the extended stay in tropical climes.
I guess I was just jealous; visiting my grandma only got me as far as Tottenham, lovely though she was.

@EnthusiasmIsDisturbed Wow. Words fail me. What a twat.

My manager literally said 'She grieving you, she said you'd died' and he said 'oh for fucks sake right thank you' Sounds like he knew about her little habit.

I knew someone who lied all the time, usually stupid things but one day I was a bit open mouthed when a mum at school said it must have been awful when her baby was still born. I think my face gave me away as I just mumbled something. I suddenly realised then that her mysterious older sister who must never be mentioned was probably made up as was the family feud because her mother was looking after her baby when it died. I didn't actually fall out with her but sort of delibrately/accidentally lost contact.

@Cam77 I was going to say the same thing!

Re 42nd cousins - A lot of people do go that far back because the lines to famous or historical people are very well documented. If you can find a direct relation of your own who is linked to a descendant of the pope or Henry viii etc, then going back 1000 years is not hard work. It’s done for you.

For someone like me whose family are just regular people, I can’t go back much past 1600.

Years ago a work colleague told everyone that her fiance had died in a plane crash.
Imagine my surprise when I took a phone call from him several months later. He asked to speak to her and she never battered an eye lid, I was too shocked to pull her up over it.

A guy at work has lied many times. He’s one of those who just lie for lying sake but he’s really lovely. Two of mine and my colleagues favourites Are 1: he had a pet monkey. When asked for pictures he said he would bring them in. 2: he has a African sister. 3: his mum is severely allergic to the sun.

When at uni I worked at a supermarket each holiday.. a colleague was a serial liar.... She couldn't stand by radiators as it might melt her plastic replacement uterus apparently.
Next time I went she was telling me she was pregnant. She couldn't explain how the plastic uterus would cope as the baby grew...

What an eejit!

Not knowing the difference between a plastic uterus and a rubber uterus . . .

That was three.. I myself am a liar!

It wasn't a lie, just me having a brain storm, but I was dropping DD off at preschool one day and said, "I've got to dash, I'm having a mastectomy." I didn't really register the looks I got. When I got back from my mammogram someone asked if the operation had been cancelled and I hadn't got a clue what she was on about. We laughed when we figured it out and they all said they thought what a cool customer I was when I had breezily announced my operation.

I had a local builder in to do some work at the end of last year. Over the course of what should have been a couple of weeks at most, but which took nearly 3 months, he had:

child blue lighted into hospital
was let down by garage doing MOT (van not available for a week)
above child had emergency surgery
being let down by Rigdeons who were not able to supply (basic, standard) skirting boards
above van being smashed into and written off
no van for another couple of weeks, despite the "business" having two vans
not being able to dispose of waste stuff due to "wrong van"
above child having complications and a second operation
going bankrupt
long lost Dad turning up unexpectedly for lunch
having to leave early as wife had run out of Christmas cards

The child was fine and was at pre-school in the next village. The builder clearly had a flexible relationship with reality. And he was shit at the building work, but that's another story.....

A friend at school told me she was Declan Donnelly's cousin. She knew him quite well, apparently. She also said she knew a number of people who worked in children's TV and could get herself and her friends on a particular children's program. Never actually happened of course as it was all utter bullshit.
Friend at college got herself out of a tedious but important college event due to a "family bereavement". Actually it was a holiday on Marbella.

@notthemum
Yeah, I'm ok. Turns out he was an abusive twat anyway.

@CigarsofthePharoahs
My brother once told people Declan Donnelly was our cousin. We aren't related.
To be fair to him, he was 5 and thought everyone with the same surname was a cousin or an uncle.

Many years ago I wanted to get my university notes, which were stored in the roof space at my parents' house. I asked for them and we even saw one another during that time, it would have been easy to bring them up in the car and I could have taken them home with my (a short flight). But no, without a word my mother threw them out.
I think it is understandable that I was very upset about this, so, to get my own back I mentioned that my O and A level certificates had been filed in those folders (naughty of me, they weren't). Cue mother writing to my old school etc. etc.
Worst bit, she told them there had been a fire! We lived in that house for 58 years, there was never, ever a fire other than in the fireplace!
Even better, I only knew about it because my oldest schoofriend told me after a reunion, which I didn't attend because I live abroad.

Someone I know who lives a small distance from us has a long story about the birth of their first child. Their stories are often along the lines of "and then everyone on the bus, the street outside and all the office blocks we went past applauded me."
Their birth story is a triumph against adversity. The astonishment at their ability by the midwives. The rest of the maternity wing was brought to tears by such amazing people. The midwives gave a guard of honour as they left and begged to be allowed to be given the honour of assisting any subsequent births. They had never known a couple be so wonderful.

Unfortunately for them, the hospital they gave birth in is closer to me than them. I know a lot of people who work there. I heard about what a dreadful weekend they'd had due to this awful couple's behaviour-apparently he was nearly removed from the hospital due to his behaviour! (no names given just fairly obvious from timings)

No I've never told them, although it's been tempting when they've been lecturing others on how brilliantly they managed labour.

I used to work in HR and people quite often trip themselves up years later when they've lied about something. As I mentioned on the other thread, we've had employees who have claimed the same person has died a few years apart or lied about their age on application forms. More often than you'd think, people alter their date of birth but don't change the date they took examinations which is easy to spot.

We had one employee complain bitterly that they had not been given a benefit available to employees over a certain age - ranted, raved, threatened grievance procedure, only when we pointed out that they were not old enough for it did they admit that they'd lied about their age when they started. I think in that case they had genuinely forgotten about their own initial lie because they made such an incredible amount of fuss about it!

As a student I worked with a guy who claimed his gf was pregnant. He had time off for the scan, and wow, it was triplets! They were so excited. Unfortunately there were loads of potentially life threatening complications with the babies and his partner and he needed so much time off, all summer, to attend hospital appointments.

Saw them in the gym together in September. She was decidedly not pregnant and he blanched when he saw me and looked away.