AIBU - DH asleep on the sofa again!

[BasilFaulty]

We've got a rare free weekend. Today we've been for a roast at MILS and done a bit of shopping, nothing strenuous. We came back about 3 hours ago, he put the rugby on, and I got on with some chores. No dramas.

I went in about two hours ago and he is FAST ASLEEP ON THE SOFA LIKE A TODDLER AAGGGHHHH. I said 'DH, are you asleep now then?' and he said 'I'm just relaxing' and fell back asleep again.
That was over two hours ago and he has now started snoring.

He has no health issues. He works FT, as do I. (Actually more hours than him)

He does this every free weekend we have. I really wanted him to help with getting the house sorted this weekend. I'm lonely and bored
He now won't be able to sleep tonight and will then complain tomorrow that he's tired.

AIBU to be getting a bit pissed off at this now? WIBU to just bugger off and leave him to sleep away our weekend?

Its sunday hes full after a big lunch.If it's not every day I wouldnt worry just do your own thing,no need to be bored.Its his fault if he cant sleep tonight.

I love an afternoon snooze

@princesshoney - thanks for replying. It's not every day, no. But it's definitely every time we have a weekend together just us two. Hard not to take it personally after a while, I guess.

How old is he?

We both love a snooze. I like to get up early, do a yoga class, shop, clean, cook and then snooze. I'd take it over a lie in anyday. I fell asleep on poor dh yesterday and trapped him for an hour.

Do you have kids? If you do then yanbu, he shouldn’t be dozing the day away but helping (unless you say it’s ok). If you don’t then YABU as that’s one of the perks of no dc!

@CheddarGorgeous he's 37

You probably bored him to sleep.

Well when he can’t sleep later he can quietly get on with some chores!

So you do chores - and he sleeps? I'd be giving him a kick to wake him up - and certainly those chores would not include his laundry!
Why don't you go out? See a film or something - don't leave a note or any explanation - turn off your phone. And let him feel bored and lonely when he wakes up.

Leave him alone! It's the weekend!

@Bertieandernie I'm interesting AF actually

He's gone to sleep purposely to avoid having to do any jobs around the house. My dh used to be like this, he'd spend most of the weekend sleeping which of course meant all housework, childcare, etc fell to me. It also made me feel very lonely, I was always on my own with the dcs. I absolutely think you should go out and do something without him. But you also need to have a serious talk about how his behaviour is affecting you.

he's relaxed!!! surely the aim of a weekend off?

you sound hard work tbh

basil was joking, but I was just referring to you doing chores on a rare weekend alone 😘

At least you went for a roast and shopping! I can’t get dp to leave the house on a weekend. He stayed up watching boxing till 6am and slept most of the day too but I just went out and did my own thing.

My family are like this.

It is so boring and lonely spending time with them.

Mum and sister cannot stay awake beyond 9pm. They cannot stay awake for a film on TV or anything else.

Let the man have a snooze in front of the rugby. It’s Sunday! A day for relaxing and doing very little.

@breakingthebank didn't think of it like that. I don't know, certainly a possibility.

Joking aside though, I do sometimes feel lonely..i wish dp would come out with us for family meals but he hates it. It’s been this way for 8 years so I don’t see it changing. It is annoying when you want to do things together, but if it wasn’t a regular thing I wouldn’t be bothered.

I'm sure I read somewhere that about half the population retains an ancient two sleeps a day pattern. Hard on you if you don't and he does. I love having an afternoon nap but dh does too so it isn't a problem. Could you come to a compromise where he gets a half hour snooze? I find that's enough to deal with my overwhelming desire for sleep without leaving me like a zombie after or unable to sleep at night

@katy1213 sorry but "go out and turn your phone off" is just cruel, really disproportionate response to an afternoon nap!

@Chinks123 tell your dh hes a lightweight.Me and dh both got up to watch boxing and dh went to work at 8.30am

I absolutely don't mind him watching the rugby/football, and relaxing I mean, he does that anyway and totally agree that's what Sundays are for.
But also life goes on, the world doesn't stop turning because it's a Sunday and actually with my work hours it's really the only chance I get to get stuff done. (Emergency services)
It's the literally falling fast asleep for hours on end while I tiptoe around him tidying etc.
I'm probably jealous as well because I can never fall asleep in the day!

Was he aware that you wanted his help to 'get the house sorted' this weekend. Have you articulated to him that you are bored and lonely. Does he do his fair share of the chores on other days of the week?