AIBU - DH asleep on the sofa again!

[BasilFaulty]

We've got a rare free weekend. Today we've been for a roast at MILS and done a bit of shopping, nothing strenuous. We came back about 3 hours ago, he put the rugby on, and I got on with some chores. No dramas.

I went in about two hours ago and he is FAST ASLEEP ON THE SOFA LIKE A TODDLER AAGGGHHHH. I said 'DH, are you asleep now then?' and he said 'I'm just relaxing' and fell back asleep again.
That was over two hours ago and he has now started snoring.

He has no health issues. He works FT, as do I. (Actually more hours than him)

He does this every free weekend we have. I really wanted him to help with getting the house sorted this weekend. I'm lonely and bored
He now won't be able to sleep tonight and will then complain tomorrow that he's tired.

AIBU to be getting a bit pissed off at this now? WIBU to just bugger off and leave him to sleep away our weekend?

Get your feet up and when he can't sleep later he can do a few of the chores he's swerved!

Definitely don't tiptoe around him.

Make plans without him.

I would have taken myself off to a nice afternoon movie or a cosy cafe for coffee and cake. Sod chores while the other adult in the house is having toddler naps.

It's a Sunday afternoon - surely they're designed to flop around on the sofa snoozing?!

@JRUIN that's a fair point, I kind of just cracked on with it and didn't communicate with him that I wanted to get some chores done. He knew what I was doing though. I've told him before it makes me feel a bit lonely when it's 3 hours + knowing we're both back at work tomorrow.
He doesn't do his fair share, no. It's always me asking him to do something specific, then he'll go back to the sofa.

Chores first then other things, would that solve the problem?

I'm useless on a Sunday afternoon, if we need anything doing it's Saturday morning and early afternoon or no chance

Every time he does this use a permanent marker to write something disobliging on his forehead. Worked for me.

YANBU but my DP does this (in fact, he's asleep right now).
I am so used to it now that I see it as, what can I watch in peace without him channel hopping?

God I love a Sunday snooze!

That's exactly what Sundays are for though. I take it kids are away for the weekend so maybe do chores on Sat next time and have Sunday just to chill?

Leave him alone. Nothing wrong with having a nap.

Why doesn't he do his fair share of chores? Do you have kids?

The napping is fine.

But what seems to stand out from your posts is that you probably feel resentful about it if he doesn't pull this weight with housework. Or if you have to designate tasks and he can't just take initiative and think "oh this needs doing, that needs doing, I'll do it". Because that is quite draining. Does it bother you? If so mention that to him. Because it's not about the nap in that case is it really

It's fine to have a kip on the sofa on a Sunday afternoon. But not while the other adult in the house is busy with chores. Once they're done then fine.

My DH often has a nap in the afternoon, but then he has a heart condition, is almost retirement age and has a physically demanding and stressful job, so he needs to, otherwise he just can't function. If he was young, fit and healthy, I'd tell him he was being a lazy bastard.

Thanks all. @Lhia29 yes I think you're right - I feel resentful of it generally I guess. @dustibooks - oh completely different, I agree.

Do you have kids? If so it’s not great form!

Sounds like he's using it to get out of doing his share around the house, especially when he waits for your to delegate specific jobs, does them, then immediately runs away and hides on the couch again.

Sucks. He's basically telling you it's your job to sort and his to 'help' when asked or made to.

i have been asleep this afternoon too, I was also asleep yesterday afternoon, if you need to sleep you need to sleep

Me and DH both snooze once or twice over the weekend, but the difference is we are equal partners and both pull our weight. Weekends are made for being snoozy and lazy, but not at your partner's expense.

@goodwinter Go out and turn your phone off is cruel? You have to be joking! So he wakes up and can't instantly tug on her apron strings?

What chores were you doing?

Think you need to sit down and talk about division of chores if you both work and he isn't pulling his weight

Does he do a hard physical job or is stressed/ill?

I don't really understand how a fit, healthy young person can sleep for so long in the day!

15/20 mins tops I would say if really needed & to not ruin a night's sleep!

In that case @BasilFaulty YANBU to be pissed off with your DH. He's selfish for not taken your feelings into account when he knows fine well how you feel, and it is very unfair that you do more round the house when you work the same/more hours than him. You need to sit him down and give him a good talking to before allowing the resentment to build up anymore.

DH is 55, and every fecking Sunday consists of him playing 18 holes of golf and then spending the rest of the day asleep in a chair.

I'm getting beyond pissed off, as I also work full time and nothing has been done around the house for around 3 years unless I do it. He starting painting the dining room 2 Christmasses ago, and still hasn't finished it. I'm crap at painting otherwise I'd finish it.

It's starting to make me hate him, to be honest