To think most people dislike sex scenes in films?

[Lilyamna]

Inspired by the fast forwarding thread!

Judging by the comments there seems most (women?) would find film-watching much more comfortable without the sex scenes. I know I would!

So let’s have a vote.
YANBU = Prefer no sex scenes
YABU= Love them

Which full on sex scenes are crucial to the plot then? As opposed to just hinting that sex has taken place?

I can only think of Basic Instinct tbh.

Not her bum off! Lol. That would not be good!

I prefer it when it's suggested but not shown. It's actually sexier. I don't need to see bare arses and acrobatics and grunting and if that makes me a prude, fine

I mean I think men would feel uncomfortable with that

Not that women want a bit of dick to look at
Flaccid penises are not easy on the eye, and erect ones aren't allowed in anything less than xxxxx I don't think!

Neither love or hate them.

Some are necessary, some are gratuitous.

There was one in a film we were watching with DS(14) the other week. The 'panting, tearing each other's clothes off, shoving things off the kitchen table' kind. I said to him

'Don't think it's normally like this. It's more 'arrgghh your elbow is on my boob!'; 'throw the bloody dog out'; 'did you put the bins out';

Pre the rise in understanding exploitation and sexism, a lot of actresses missed out on work because they wouldn't do unnecessary sex scenes and bigger female starts used to get criticism because they turned down films. Even rape scenes used to be gratuitous.

Many were just an excuse to show naked women, pretending to orgasm.

Where it's essential to show characters have had sex, it should be done so actresses aren't compromised.

The 'on top' postion is just done to get more viewers. Subtlety works just as well.

@FrogsFrogs, I can remember when the gay bedroom scene in Shameless was shown. All of a sudden the gutter press and men (judging by the comments) had a problem with sex being shown.

Likewise when Queer as folk came out.

I like them, just didn’t enjoy them when I lived with my extremely conservative mum.

I have found my people...I hate sex scenes...so unnecessary and make me so uncomfortable.

I've voted YANBU. I love kissing scenes, intense passion/connection scenes, all that. But true sex scenes as a pp said are done to titillate men. So eg even an allegedly 'artistic' 'essential' sex scene in Don't Look Now mainly focuses on tits. I had no idea what aroused female genitals were actually like until I was 31, accidentally touched my own vulva when I was very turned on and screeched in shock. So all sex scenes do imo is put a burden on actors and give men erections - everything they do for the actual film could hd done with all clothes on. CF Thd Big Easy - the incredibly erotic sex scene isn't fact almost fully clothed AND contains actual conversation about sex which genuinely explores the characters and even sex itself.

IS in fact almost fully clothed

I remember the sex scene in ‘Meet Joe Black’ - you’d think Brad Pitt having sex on screen would be hot as hell but it was just incredibly cringe-worthy.

I have a major problem with most sex scenes in movies/shows..
Although I don't feel uncomfortable watching them I do think that they pose unrealistic expectations to men and women.
What I mean is the whole "pleasure" and "over the top" reactions during sex. A bit like porn.
Men expect sex to consistently be like that.
Women wonder why they don't feel like that every time they have sex.
Ok now I'm giving the impression that my sex life is boring 😂 but you get what I mean? I just find it all very false and theatrical.

Most are just gratuitous and make me uncomfortable. Some are called for due to the story line and don't need to be graphic.

I stopped watching Power because it was just ridiculous.

@iklboo exactly my point! I laughed at your comments to your son 😂

Depends on the sex scene. However one of the sexiest films I've ever seen is The Age of Innocence and all the skin shown there is a bit of Michelle Pfieffer's wrist between her glove and her sleeve.

Also most sex scenes are very male gaze. You are left wondering why the woman is enjoying it.

I love a well made, hot sex scene! However there are lots of gratuitous gross ones which I’d be happier without. Also don’t like loud sloppy kissing scenes.

@ohnooutofdateham Power was what I had in mind when posting my opinion. It was ridiculous.

Who fast forwards a sex scene unless there are kids in the room. That is truely weird imo. I don't mind a sex scene, what I don't like is the need for strippers etc in films, the scenes that add zero to the plot but are just there to keep the men watching. I've actually found quite a few sex scenes refreshing lately with women that have 'normal' bodies, real boobs, hairy lady parts etc. I've been watching a few historical dramas and it's been so nice to see wobbly tummy, saggy boobs and hairy under carriages! I must admit it makes me look at my own body in a more positive light. I get so sick of all the fakeness, big boobs that don't move, puffed up lips, weird botox eyes etc.

I would rather they did not have them. I prefer old fashioned Hollywood films where they just panned up to the headboard. You know what was happening, you do not need to see it.

Also most sex scenes are wham, bang thank-you ma'am. Foreplay is a tiny bit of kissing, then stick it in.

Some sex scenes ok. But some shows do have too many. Highlander is one where I find myself fast forwarding because they happen so often.

I'm not the type to ff unless I'm worried the kids will walk in(!) but I'm not a fan of sex scenes. Hot build-up / sizzling chemistry, then alluding to sex is perfect for me - lets my imagination fill in the blanks.

To me there's nothing less sexy / more cringey than sloppy sex noises and nude grinding on screen. But then, I've never found porn to be a turn on either...

@PuppyMonkey DH and I watched Basic Instinct a few days ago as neither of us had seen it.

Sex scene 1 - sexy
Sharon Stone outclassing the police in the interview - sexy
Interminable sex scenes for the rest of the film - extremely dull soft porn that we wished we didn't have to see
Depressing bisexual scene - very very much not sexy and total male fantasy
Final sex scene - sexy as there was some point to it

It was a lot more sexy every time Sharon Stone had clothes on and was allowed to act, which she was brilliant at, rather than just titillate the director.

We decided next time we'd stick to a classic film noir like Laura.