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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

My child's nursery

74 replies

Rose06 · 21/02/2020 14:56

I had a unexpected meeting with my child's nursery today. Apparently they felt the kitchen staff were already overstretched and with my son being vegetarian and unable to the substitute. Also they couldn't provide a menu just for my son something I challenged as I never gave such a impression. They initially suggested I can bring my own food for him but when I queried how this will affect the daily charge I pay they had to get to me. They are also pressuring me into moving my son into the next room. Apparently the handover I ask for at pick up can be too detailed and the morning staff are under alot of pressure.
I gave the nursery my suggestions on alternatives and stated I'm happy for my son to begin transition to the next room but he's not being moved until her turns 2.
I've now come home and I'm so annoyed and stressed. My son is settled in this nursery and moving him would be difficult for him. But I cannot believe the cheek. Am I over reacting? Or over thinking?

OP posts:

bridgetreilly · 21/02/2020 15:00

You sound incredibly hard work, OP.

BlueBirdGreenFence · 21/02/2020 15:03

What level of detail do you want at handover? Do you think maybe a change of staff with a new room might help relations a bit?

TorysSuckRevokeArticle50 · 21/02/2020 15:04

What specifically are his dietary requirements, you say he is unable to eat the substitute, what's wrong with it?

Also what does the handover that you want look like, if you tell us your expectation we can tell you if it is realistic.

It may be that you won't get what you want from any other nurseries either.

WaterSheep · 21/02/2020 15:08

I feel like we need more information

What's your son's dietary requirements?

How long are the handovers, and what do you expect them to discuss with you each day?

peachgreen · 21/02/2020 15:11

Why do they want him to move into the next room? If they're suggesting he move early it's likely because they feel he's ready and isn't stimulated enough in his current room.

Original poster

Rose06 · 21/02/2020 15:14

The substitute upsets his stomach. Handovers- I ask what he's had to eat and if he's eaten it all and how his day has been. I don't feel I'm asking for alot.
Regarding his move to next room, it's due to development however when I spoke to his keyworker she told me it wouldn't be until summer and now I'm being pressured by all staff

OP posts:

PumpkinPie2016 · 21/02/2020 15:14

What are your son's dietary requirements? If it is simply that you want him to have a vegetarian diet then they should be able to cater for that easily. It does sound like there is more to it though?

What sort of info do you require at pick up? A simple summary of his day should be ok but a detailed account may well be difficult if they are busy when you collect.

It's hard to say without knowing more.

1Morewineplease · 21/02/2020 15:16

Yes... more information please.
What was wrong with the substitute food?
Why do you need a detailed handover?

PumpkinPie2016 · 21/02/2020 15:17

Sorry, cross posted with you. I think for a child under two, wanting to know roughly what they have eaten and how they've been is fine. It's reasonable to want to know that.

The food thing - if certain things upset his stomach maybe packed lunch would suit him better?

BrigidSt · 21/02/2020 15:18

Being vegetarian doesnt seem unreasonable, nursery food is pretty basic school dinners fare.
Drop child off, sign the sheet, say thanks and goodbye, see you later? If your handovers are any longer than that then perhaps they have a point? Unless there's lots more information to come about illness, special requirements, out of the ordinary developmental needs?

Original poster

Rose06 · 21/02/2020 15:20

I work full time and travel for work. Time is such a issue that I rely heavily on the nursery for a balanced diet.

OP posts:

peachgreen · 21/02/2020 15:20

What substitute? Is this for every meal or one specific meal?

joffreyscoffees · 21/02/2020 15:22

DD is vegetarian.. nursery have never had an issue with this - although they mainly make her a quorn version of what the other kids are having, I'm guessing this is what you're saying your DS can't have? If they said they couldn't cater for her, I'd be taking her out.

I get what you mean about handover - sometimes, I don't even get to speak to anyone, they just send her through to the waiting area/cloakroom and it's getting on my nerves. They've stopped filling in her daily diary too. I'm starting to think there's financial issues as one member of staff (DD's favourite) is leaving as she can't get enough hours where she is and the baby room are put in with the wider nursery for at least an hour in a morning and late afternoon.

Original poster

Rose06 · 21/02/2020 15:22

Morning handovers are a few minutes. They ask how he's been and I advise them

OP posts:

Thesearmsofmine · 21/02/2020 15:24

Surely they offering a variety of meals not just the same substitute item every day?

Caterina99 · 21/02/2020 15:24

My DS has allergies. His nursery provides food, and there is always an option for him, as well as for vegetarians, other allergies etc. Sometimes the combinations are a bit random and wouldn’t be my first choice to feed him, but I appreciate they have lots of children to cater for, and as long as he’s getting something that he can safely eat, and is nutritionally balanced, then it’s not their problem if he chooses not to eat it! Thankfully 90% of the time he eats just fine.

My friends daughter is incredibly fussy and won’t eat the nursery food so brings her own. No reduction in price.

Pick up is quick. Don’t they have paperwork or an app that tells you what they’ve done that day? I thought that was common for most nurseries with under 2s? Ours has notes there for anything important because pick up is such a crazy time and they might forget to tell me something. Sometimes the staff will tell me something like he’s had a good day, or he seems a bit under the weather today, but that’s the extent of it.

If they do all these things then I think you need to adjust your expectations. If they don’t, then I think you need to change to a nursery that does

sar302 · 21/02/2020 15:24

At handover, we sign out, get told what he's had to eat and how much, his nappies (wet / dirty), and a general rundown of the day, including if they've been working on any particular projects. To my knowledge that's fairly standard.

The dietary thing can be harder. My son has the "allergy friendly" menu, but I'm sure they also cater for veggies. The veggie menu can't upset his stomach everyday surely? If he has a number if specific allergy / intolerance requirements, and you require him to be vegetarian, then yes, you might have to pack him a lunch - there is a limit to what they can cater for.

JackRicher · 21/02/2020 15:24

What's detailed about your handover questions . That's just basic questions isn't it. Also re the moving of the rooms, why do they think he should move now instead of summer?

Original poster

Rose06 · 21/02/2020 15:25

Thank you joffreyscoffees finally someone has understood my situation.

OP posts:

EduCated · 21/02/2020 15:26

I’d hazard a guess that DS is vegetarian and Quorn upsets his stomach?

CastleCrasher · 21/02/2020 15:26

What food are they providing, what is the problem with it, and what do you want instead?
Eg they are giving him lentils every Tuesday, they make him sick, so I've asked for him to have a different vegetable on Tuesdays instead.

Does the nursery have a notebook for the children, most do - gives sort summary of eating, toileting and sleeping. What extra do you need?

JackRicher · 21/02/2020 15:27

And bridgetreilly the OP doesn't sound hard work. Whilst you on the other hand sound dismissive and rude.

Straycatstrut · 21/02/2020 15:34

A private Nursery should definitely be able to cater for a vegetarian child if they offer meals. It's not fair on them if only meat eating children can have hot meals. Or children with allergies - they aren't allowed the hot meals either, too much of hassle?

My sons Nursery don't offer meals, it's all packed lunches, but it's part of the school his brother goes to, and from Reception he'll get the (brilliant veggie choices) meals for 7 years so I'm putting up with it.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 21/02/2020 15:35

I think they are BU re: vegetarian child- its hardly that rare or complicated is it? (if it was a vegan diet id understand)

As for the transition, if he is ready he should move up, It will be to his benefit.

MintyMabel · 21/02/2020 15:36

A few minutes for morning handover? With thirty kids in a room that would take staff over an hour. Seems unnecessary. For my recollection handover was half a minute. Ours did a daily diary so pick up was swift too.

I’m surprised they won’t cater for vegetarian. Every nursery we visited offered this option. In fact, many of the main meals were vegetarian. Is there something more specific you are looking for?

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