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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To think checkout lady was being OTT about alcohol and child?

445 replies

Potkettlexx · 20/02/2020 15:02

In supermarket yesterday with DD 7. DD struggles at school so I let her help with shopping to get her used to the concept.

Bought some bread and small gift pack bottle baileys £5 for in-laws bday.

Got DD to scan the gift box and the bread and press the correct buttons etc... (dd Aldo has some sensory and coordination difficulties so again it helps this doing practical things)

DD wanted to pay with my card so I told her what buttons to press and gave her the card to tap on card reader. Dd didn’t really understand so I just gently took it from her and tapped my card myself.

Before I took over, dd was trying and the woman supervising the self service tills piled up ‘ohh you’ll have to be the one that pats with the card’ or something to that affect.

I was thinking.... for real?!

I get that they need to be very careful when selling alcohol....

I get that a 15 year old can look 18....

I get that an 18 year old could be potentially buying it for younger friends....

I get that they could be disciplined if they were willingly selling alcohol to under 18’s....

But for goodness sake, surely common sense would say she really didn’t need to say that under the circumstances.

After all, the reason the sale of alcohol is forbidden to under 18’s is incase they drink it and quite right.

That’s not the same as the this situation. It was clearly evident I was the one ‘buying it’ and giving my consent. Does she honestly think I was planning on giving it to my 7 year old?! 🙄

OP posts:
heartsonacake · 21/02/2020 08:11

YABVU. Whether you agree with it or not, that’s the law. The checkout lady shouldn’t be fined or disciplined because you wanted to let your kid play shop.

Buy a toy till fgs.

slashlover · 21/02/2020 08:25

"And as I've said before, who decides how old they look?"

The police/trading standards deliberately use someone who looks very, very young so there can be no confusion. If they used a 24 1/2 with a full beard there can be some argument, if they use a 15 year old who looks younger then there can be no argument.

I remember passing a test purchase with a 16 year old and commenting to the policeman that the person looked too young and nobody would serve them. They had been sold alcohol three times already that night.

Bathroom12345 · 21/02/2020 08:41

Around here TS use people who look much older than they are to really test the supermarket.

ScreamedAtTheMichelangelo · 21/02/2020 08:47

Sorry haven't RTFT but assume pic still highly relevant

To think checkout lady was being OTT about alcohol and child?
SoupDragon · 21/02/2020 09:06

Utterly speechless 😶

Looks like you were wrong about that too 🤣🤣

drivingtofrance · 21/02/2020 09:08

What happens if you don't have ID?

I guess everyone has a birth certificate but that doesn't have your photo on.

Some people don't have a passport or a driving licence.

Gogolego · 21/02/2020 09:09

Yabu!!

if you're 7yo can buy alcohol then someone will push it and what's to say a 8yo can't. Then what's to say a 9 yo can't and so they "buy" alcohol. Then this snowballs to when a 16yo buys alcohol and that's when the problems can start. And they turn round and go I could purchase alcohol at 7 but not 16 🤨🤨

It's a slippery slope from 7yo helping to buy alcohol and a 16 yo buying alcohol

codenameduchess · 21/02/2020 09:18

@drivingtofrance you can get a PASS card as part of the proof of age standards scheme if you don't have a drivers license or passport. And it's easy enough to get a provisional license.

recordbox · 21/02/2020 09:19

What happens if you don't have ID?

Then you can't prove your age and should be refused the sale of there is any doubt.

I guess everyone has a birth certificate but that doesn't have your photo on.

Yes, but people can use it to get further ID that does.

Some people don't have a passport or a driving licence.

That's personal responsibility. If you don't get yourself some ID you can't be shouting when someone refuses a sale. The law is clear.

strawberry2017 · 21/02/2020 09:22

It's because the individual staff members can be hold liable for prosecution/ fines, even if it is obviously just your child helping you. Same with lottery. If they picked the scratch card number they probably won't sell you it because of the age.

Willow2017 · 21/02/2020 09:25

The post wasn’t about the ‘work rules’ it was about the LAW.
Challenge 25 is part of the conditions of the store having a licence to sell alcohol. If we breach it they can monitor the store more closely and if they are found to be breaching it regularly then they will revoke the licence. Its quite simple so we dont risk it.

WalkingDeadTrainee · 21/02/2020 09:25

It would be so much easier if people were just given a national ID card at certain age like in lots of other countries. That way everyone has an id. Without it you can't take out loans etc so it's also bit safer on the fraud side.

recordbox · 21/02/2020 09:30

Challenge 25 is part of the conditions of the store having a licence to sell alcohol. If we breach it they can monitor the store more closely and if they are found to be breaching it regularly then they will revoke the licence. Its quite simple so we dont risk it.

I understand all of that. My quote was responding to someone who took it out of context and it's been further twisted. I was never discussing the 'challenge' policy.

tigger1001 · 21/02/2020 09:36

You were in the wrong. Simple. It is illegal for someone under 18 to purchase alcohol. By allowing your child to use the card, they were the one purchasing it. The assistant was completely right to say something. She didn't feel she had to say something, she had to say something otherwise she was breaking the law.

Your desire to allow your child to help you shopping isn't more important than the shop complying with the law.

MulticolourMophead · 21/02/2020 10:27

I think it's crazy that some kind of common sense can't be applied here - absolutism like this is what causes so many issues.

Absolutism is necessary precisely because common sense means different things to different people. People push boundaries all the time, so a firm zero tolerance is necessary.

SentimentalKiller · 21/02/2020 10:29

I think yabu for dicking about at the checkout. It's not a toy
Get a pretend checkout for play

woodchuck99 · 21/02/2020 10:37

I think it's crazy that some kind of common sense can't be applied here - absolutism like this is what causes so many issues.

I think that in situations where you have unskilled workers they probably have to put these kind of rules in place. The jobs which don't require qualifications they can't really rely on workers to use their own judgement.

TellMeWhoTheVilliansAre · 21/02/2020 10:38

It is illegal to sell alcohol to anyone under 18. This has been well established. That is why the lady told you to tap the card. She knew your daughter wasn't buying the drink for herself. But that's not the issue. The issue is it is illegal to sell alcohol to someone under 18. And if your daughter completed the purchase the shop would be breaking the law. Nothing would happen you or your daughter but the assistant and the shop could get in pretty serious shit for it.

She knew you weren't going to give the bottle to your child to drink, that is why she let you proceed with the purchase. If she thought you were buying it for your 7 year old she would have refused to let you go ahead with the purchase.

THEN you might have had something to start a thread about.

You were in the wrong, and your child's life lessons, or enjoyment of tapping a card doesn't trump the shop's need to comply with the law.

TellMeWhoTheVilliansAre · 21/02/2020 10:44

Start using "common sense" and people start abusing it, or the staff, or claiming discrimination.

If it's OK to let a 7 year old buy alcohol in the presence of their parent, what age does it become not OK? 8? 11? 15? My daughter is 12 but is quite tall. If it was OK to allow a 12 year old, but not a 15 year old, would she have to carry ID to show she's in the "common sense" bracket?

Laws are there so it's a blanket rule for everyone, to protect everyone.

DianaT1969 · 21/02/2020 10:57

It sounds like you have a problem being pulled up for errors. Nobody likes being 'told off', but she only politely told you the rules. She didn't confiscate it or cause a scene. Maybe have a look at your attitude. These things are passed on...

LolaSmiles · 21/02/2020 10:58

I think that in situations where you have unskilled workers they probably have to put these kind of rules in place. The jobs which don't require qualifications they can't really rely on workers to use their own judgement
Wow. People really do look down on shop workers don't they. Hmm

The law is there. It applies to everyone, not applies to everyone unless you want to play shops and have your child use your card... in which case your child playing makes you exempt from the law of the land and the shop assistant should have used their common sense to realise you are totally and utterly special.

woodchuck99 · 21/02/2020 11:06

Wow. People really do look down on shop workers don't they.

In general they aren't professionals who have passed qualifications and are expected to make their own judgement. I'm not really talking about this situation but the fact that people think they would be breaking the law or could lose their license if they didn't ID their own husband if he was between 18 and 25 says it all.

WalkingDeadTrainee · 21/02/2020 11:13

Even professionals with x qualifications must abide by law🤷

LolaSmiles · 21/02/2020 11:16

In general they aren't professionals who have passed qualifications and are expected to make their own judgement
Of course they have to make their own judgement! The fact you seem to equate not having professional qualifications with lacking judgement says it all.

They make their own judgement within their store's policy and licencing terms. The store has to have a policy for age restricted items. This is often think25.

Think 25 is just that, a judgement. If they believe someone to look under 25 then they have to ask for ID, so the terms of that policy mean they can't just sell to their friend's 18 year old without IDing.

Unfortunately, "but he's my boyfriend / she's my friend / I know his mum" isn't in the licence terms. If they look under 25 hey have to be IDed.

woodchuck99 · 21/02/2020 11:26

Unfortunately, "but he's my boyfriend / she's my friend / I know his mum" isn't in the licence terms. If they look under 25 hey have to be IDed.

The think 25 is in place because it can sometimes be quite hard to tell whether someone is over 18 just by looking at them. In order to reduce the chances of someone making a mistake they are therefore asked to assess whether they are over 25 instead. If you know someone is over 18 because you are married to them then that would not apply if people were being allowed to use their common sense.

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