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Original poster

To wonder about spooning with best friend

54 replies

KnittingSocks · 20/02/2020 12:41

Has anyone ever spooned their best friend (same gender) in bed? It's happened about 5 or 6 times now when staying at each other's houses when drunk and we never speak about it afterwards.

We have an intense friendship where we're in contact all day and starting to wonder if I might have some romantic feelings for her (although always identified as heterosexual before).

Just wondering if she would spoon me if she wasn't questioning feelings too? I know women can have intense friendships so not what is normal!

OP posts:
SapphosRock · 20/02/2020 12:48

I'm a lesbian with lots of close straight female friends. We sometimes have shared a double bed.

I wouldn't spoon any of them and would feel really weird if they tried to spoon me.

I would spoon a woman I fancied and would like it if she spooned me.

Sounds like something might be going on OP.

B0bbin · 20/02/2020 12:53

Happily married here, but I wouldn't have spooned a friend unless it was maybe becoming more. Are either of you in a relationship?

mnthrowaway202020 · 20/02/2020 12:55

I lived in halls with friends during first year university then lived with my friends after. So basically there was lots of mates sleeping over over the years! Spooning never really happened but if it did, it would probably be banter so would definitely be spoken about afterwards.

Rainbowunicat · 20/02/2020 12:55

Is she awake? Or do you just wake up like that, having both moved in your sleep? I'd say it's unusual.

mnthrowaway202020 · 20/02/2020 12:55

Which is why your situation seems quite intimate in comparison

BigSandyBalls2015 · 20/02/2020 12:57

I've often shared a bed with close mates but we've never spooned! I think that is unusual and I would feel uncomfortable if they suggested it or did it!

PooWillyBumBum · 20/02/2020 12:58

I spooned friends as a teen and at uni - mostly because I had a single bed so it was the only way to fit if they stayed over. Can’t imagine doing it now, not with someone who is just a friend.

FeedMeChoc · 20/02/2020 13:01

Never spooned with a friend.

BendyLikeBeckham · 20/02/2020 13:02

Can someone tell me what they consider to be spooning?

Is it just a close cuddle lying down, front to back?

Or is it actually sexual, involving touching, sex, etc?

I always thought it was just a cuddle, so wouldn't think anything of doing that with a close platonic friend of the same sex

WeAllHaveWings · 20/02/2020 13:10

Nooooo And would probably jump out of bed it she did!!

I am not a tactile person normally, don't generally hug female friends vertically so definitely wouldn't want to horizontally. Spooning a friend would be soooo out my comfort zone.

PeterPanGoesWrong · 20/02/2020 13:10

I think if you woke to find yourselves cuddling or if it was bitterly cold and you were spooning to make the most iof body heat then it’s nothing to give a second thought to.
Please don’t let it come between you and a great friendship.

Fuckfuckbollocks · 20/02/2020 13:16
Theroigne · 20/02/2020 13:17

No I have to say I have never spooned a friend.

goldenorbspider · 20/02/2020 13:19

Nope spooning leads to ....

DjMomo · 20/02/2020 13:21

No way. It’s weird and it would freak me out.

ActualHornist · 20/02/2020 13:22

I don’t even like spooning my husband.

The only time I have ever done this is when sharing a double bed.

Are you always the big or little spoon? Or are both of you instigating it?

mnthrowaway202020 · 20/02/2020 13:24

Do you think she’s like this with others or just you? (ie is this her personality, especially when drunk?)

FelicityBeedle · 20/02/2020 13:24

I’ve definitwly spooned with close friends, it’s cosy and comforting

ShrimpyTheGnome · 20/02/2020 13:25

Me and my best friend do! When she stays at my house, we share a bed, and that shit is just...normal to us!

She's usually the big spoon, because she's twice my height, and I'd look like a demented koala if it was the other way around.

If it makes a difference, I'm gay, she's not. 🤷‍♀️

WhatALearningCurve · 20/02/2020 13:26

I'm a straight woman and have a few friends I'd spoon if we shared a bed. I also have friends I wouldn't spoon. Every friendship is different

MsChatterbox · 20/02/2020 13:26

I haven't but I've known friends that have and they definitely are not interested in each other!

Flufferbum · 20/02/2020 13:29

I had a friend I spooned but we were young and she was just very very motherly and loving. It had nothing to do with fancying each other at all I don’t think. I’ve also had relations with a girl too.. but she made her feelings very very known as did i

Illberidingshotgun · 20/02/2020 13:29

Is it always her spooning you, or does it vary? Does she describe herself as straight or gay?

Your friendship - being in contact all day sounds a bit more than a regular friendship (unless you work together), most people are too busy to be constantly messaging someone, even their partner.

Are either of you in a relationship?

Drum2018 · 20/02/2020 13:31

I shared a bed with a female friend once and she did this - freaked me out a bit. I've shared a double bed with other friends a couple of times and we would keep well over to our own side of the bed. At this point in my life I wouldn't even share a room with friends if we go away, let alone spoon any of them Grin

HuskyloverI · 20/02/2020 13:31

Nah, I'm straight and I'd never want that amount of closeness with a female friend. Makes me feel very Ick.