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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Noise on trains

337 replies

Flower884 · 19/02/2020 15:32

Why do parents think it’s ok to let their child listen to a children’s programme loud on a train with no earphones?

I’ve experienced this a few times now on trains and planes. They seem oblivious to the noise.

Another lady has just asked the mum to turn it down as she’s trying to work. The mums response - well my child can’t hear it!

OP posts:
ACautionaryTale · 19/02/2020 16:47

You see when I was a kid if I was kicking screaming throwing things and not listening I got a clip around the ear and I shut up.

Reasoning only works with kids that can be reasoned with. If they can’t be, then other people shouldn’t have to put up with it.

Sit quiet
Colour in or read
Or get a clip around the ear

Suddenly my colouring and reading is appealing and you learn quickly to do
As your told.

JosefKeller · 19/02/2020 16:47

For the same reason SOME people find it acceptable to have loud conversations on the phone or with each others, even conversations when they are sitting at the opposite end of the carriage or in the plane Hmm, or find acceptable to eat stinky food and be a general nuisance on public transports.

Some people are either stupid or have no basic manner whatsoever, or a bit of both. 🤷

Klouise777 · 19/02/2020 16:48

@Hoik well said. Thank you

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 19/02/2020 16:48

Flower884 I get what you are saying, and your example will likely work on a 5 + year old...not on a 2year old!

ProfessorPollington · 19/02/2020 16:49

Today is my day for grumpy posts. I was on a bus the other day and same story - a mum handed over an iPad at deafening volume to her toddler as soon as she got on. Thanks whoever you were, I really needed nursery rhymes hammered through my head at the end of the day. FFS it can only be a 10 to 15 min ride max....

Flower884 · 19/02/2020 16:50

@hoik actually When I see a child screaming because it wanted something and the mother was saying no and being firm with her decision. I would actually think good on her. What a good parent. Children usually stop crying when they realise they are not getting their own way.

OP posts:
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 19/02/2020 16:50

Or get a clip around the ear yes because smacking in public usually is so positively received.

Hoik · 19/02/2020 16:50

Sit quiet
Colour in or read
Or get a clip around the ear

You really just advocated hitting a small child? Fuck me, that's disgusting.

You see when I was a kid if I was kicking screaming throwing things and not listening I got a clip around the ear and I shut up.

My sons are autistic. No amount of clips around the ear would stop then during a meltdown.

Your upbringing has really harmed you.

JosefKeller · 19/02/2020 16:52

to be fair, when parents have given tablets or plonked their kids in front of the tv since pretty much birth, there's not a hope in hell the kids will know how to occupy themselves without them.

Have you seen the amount of people who put a tv in a 2 -3 years old + bedroom?

So OP, whilst I think you have expectations a bit too strong for a young child, you are completely unreasonable to expect SOME kids to be able to colour, read or play patiently. They don't know how, they have never been left "bored", they don't know anything than the tablets. It's actually depressing when you think about it.

Mlou32 · 19/02/2020 16:55

@JacquesHammer see I've studied on the train before and usually the regular coaches are peaceful enough to study/work. Like I know there is going to be general chit chat and everyday noise ie the odd phone ringing etc (although I do put mine on vibrate on long train journeys so as to not disturb people) but it's still an environment that you could and should reasonably expect to be able to do a bit of work in. However I think that a tablet with a tv programme playing out loud would raise the noise levels above what is expected and above what is reasonable. General chatter and a bit of noise = what is expected on the regular coach = acceptable and workable. A tablet dominating the environment and driving people to distraction = not expected in any coach = not acceptable and not workable.

I guess everyone is different though, what I can put up with isn't necessarily what the person next to me could put up with.

Flower884 · 19/02/2020 17:00

To the people who think I’m being unreasonable. What would you think if I decided to play music loud without headphones and then your child got upset because they couldn’t hear their iPad? Just trying to switch the scenario round.

OP posts:
Hannsmum · 19/02/2020 17:01

OP its not as easy as you make it out to be. I have a 2 year old boy who screams once we get on the bus/train that he wants to start running around. I get highly embarrassed by this because of his screams. Its also impossible to put headphones on him.he flings them off

The only way to calm him down is to give him my phone and watch chu chu tv. Then we all have some peace and quiet.😏

JacquesHammer · 19/02/2020 17:02

see I've studied on the train before and usually the regular coaches are peaceful enough to study/work

Sure - I work on trains regularly and never bother with the quiet coach. However if I wanted to be assured of quietness then I would book that.

Flower884 · 19/02/2020 17:04

@Hannsmum I understand that must be quite stressful. But what if your child is screaming because he knows you will give it to him and that is now his normal routine so he expects it?

OP posts:
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 19/02/2020 17:04

Just trying to switch the scenario round The scenario isnt comparable the other way round. Toddlers and adults arent comparable.
I dont think a loud screen is fair but a turned down screen is fine given the alternatives sometimes.

Flower884 · 19/02/2020 17:07

@onlyfoolsnmothers obviously it’s not the same. But I’m asking you to consider the noise element the other way round if someone was being noisy and disrupting your child. I notice you didn’t answer the question though.

OP posts:
Hoik · 19/02/2020 17:13

So OP, whilst I think you have expectations a bit too strong for a young child, you are completely unreasonable to expect SOME kids to be able to colour, read or play patiently. They don't know how, they have never been left "bored", they don't know anything than the tablets. It's actually depressing when you think about it.

It's not an either/or of no tablets at all vs 24/7 screen time. There is a middle ground and a child using a tablet on a train is hardly an indicator that they're plonked in front of it all day every day.

Arthritica · 19/02/2020 17:14

YANBU, OP - it's lazy, selfish and disrespectful of everyone around them.

A screen is fine but only ever on silent or with headphones on a low volume whenin public. If the child can't or won't wear headphones and won't accept silence, too bad, no screen.

Flower884 · 19/02/2020 17:16

@Hoik I agree. I think it’s fine to let a child watch an iPad on a train but not without headphones. Just because someone gives an iPad on a train doesn’t mean they do it all the time.

OP posts:
OhLook · 19/02/2020 17:17

There was someone doing this in my Drs surgery this morning. First thing so there was no long waiting time. Completely unnecessary. I can't stand phone noise in public. People do this by the tiny little pool my DD has lessons at and at her gymnastics class. It really pisses me off.

Flower884 · 19/02/2020 17:17

Also if a child is too young to wear headphones then they won’t be taking the programme in anyway. They can just look at the pictures and colours without the sound.

OP posts:
Flower884 · 19/02/2020 17:19

It’s actually been shown that kids under a certain age (can’t remember the exact age) don’t learn a thing from tv.

OP posts:
Hoik · 19/02/2020 17:21

Not everything has to be a learning experience though.

JosefKeller · 19/02/2020 17:23

there is a middle ground and a child using a tablet on a train is hardly an indicator that they're plonked in front of it all day every day.

if they are unable to do anything else, it's kind of a clue though. What 2 or 3 year old needs a tablet? It's sad.

Purpleartichoke · 19/02/2020 17:23

Even a toddler can wear headphones. They even make special ones with maximum volume controls to protect their tiny ears.

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