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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Unprotected swimming pool

100 replies

TrainsandDiggers · 19/02/2020 03:22

We are currently visiting a family who recently emigrate to a hot country. They have a lovely pool in the garden which my children are loving. The worry I have though, is that the pool is completely unprotected - no fences, alarms, life rings - nothing. To get to the pool and garden you have to go down a number of steps. Whilst they can be seen from the house, lots of big vegetation preclude a clear view. They have four children of their own, all under 10 and two under fives. Personally, I am watching my own children like a hawk and just can’t relax. AIBU or is this set up just really irresponsible?

OP posts:

MintImperials · 19/02/2020 11:51

You get that a lot in Spain and France. We stayed with friends in a villa with a load of kids and the #1 rule was no kid anywhere near the pool without an adult there too. But it still made us all a bit twitchy. The kids were great about it - we told them that any kid breaking that rule would get themselves a 2 day ban from swimming and it worked. But the kids were all older 8+,
Could all swim and generally pretty obedient. No way I would have done it with under 8s/non-swimmers in the grp

MintImperials · 19/02/2020 11:52

Adults all took turns going to the pool with kids, even first thing In the morning. You do have to watch them near water.

Winesalot · 19/02/2020 12:02

The risks of older children/young teens who can swim is drummed into us as Australians as well. Particularly the diving, slipping accidents or the competitive sitting on the bottom of the pool. And how easy it is to not see it happen if the person supervising is distracted.

Oliversmumsarmy · 19/02/2020 12:22

make sure you teach some basic safety skills so the children can learn to grab onto the side if they do jump in

When Dd went in she said she couldn’t get to the surface so let herself go down to the bottom and then pushed herself off the bottom to bob out the top where I managed to grab her t.shirt.

MrsTerryPratchett · 19/02/2020 14:34

The average child is not going to leave a house unattended (especially in the middle of the night) if they’re told not to.

When DD was two I fitted an extra lock higher on the door because she would try to escape. She saw me fit it, I went to the loo, came back and she was on a chair trying to open it. She's a criminal genius. Not all children are biddable.

I think it's telling that the Australians on the thread all appear to be #TeamFence. I assume they know what they're talking about.

Goatinthegarden · 19/02/2020 19:15

I suppose my question to all the parents of mini Houdini’s would be, if a locked up house in the middle of the night won’t stop your child sneaking out to a pool, is a fence around the outside of it going to be any safer?

corythatwas · 19/02/2020 19:25

It doesn't have to be the middle of the night: it could be the moment the OP is having a dump and the other parent is distracted by her own child falling over.

MilkTrayLimeBarrel · 19/02/2020 19:31

Their house, their rules.

TurquoiseDress · 19/02/2020 19:37

YANBU

I could not be comfortable or happy with this set up for a holiday let alone living like that with young children.

My DC are 5 and under, and summer holiday last year I was watching them like a hawk, I couldn't really relax unless I could see them.

It's so true that kids move so fast, also- a bit different to this scenario- in a holiday resort there is so much noise and lots of people, nobody would even notice if somebody/small child got into trouble in the water.

Stayawayfromitsmouth · 19/02/2020 19:38

Do you feel this is something you can talk to them about? If not maybe start streaming drowning videos to their tv. (Joke).
I would be concerned for all the children. Especially resident children.

WinterCat · 19/02/2020 19:47

YANBU. Are they from the UK (OP, I am assuming you are) because I am really surprised that any parent of young children thinks this is acceptable.

It wouldn’t have even crossed my mind to ask if there was fencing because I would have just naively assumed that there was.

Can you change bedrooms so your DC sleep upstairs and you are downstairs by the patio doors?

Original poster

TrainsandDiggers · 19/02/2020 20:19

I am sleeping with them every night now.

For the confused posters - I am less concerned about my children going out in the middle of the night and more when they wake up, which is early, as is the case with many young children their age. Sorry I wasn’t more explicit!

OP posts:

ScreamingLadySutch · 19/02/2020 20:24

Surely pools must be fenced by law?

I grew up in hot countries. We all knew children who were lost through drowning, got brain damaged by near drownings or by sheer luck survived drownings.

The most horrible thing about drowning? It is silent.

Do continual head counts.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 20/02/2020 02:29

@ScreamingLadySutch - not all countries have the same laws about fencing, sadly. The OP has said this house is in Turkey - I don't know about their laws.

frillyfarmer · 20/02/2020 03:39

I just cannot understand how any parent of small (or not so small) children can possibly live their lives happily with an unfenced pool in the garden.

My parents have an indoor pool - it is locked constantly when we are not in there, but it is still a worry for me, as a mother of a toddler. There is always always that risk with water. I couldn't rest easy in your situation OP so you are absolutely not being unreasonable.

Those who are questioning local laws - OP has said the property is in Turkey, which is years behind Aus in terms of H&S legislation.

PityParty4one · 20/02/2020 03:46

Supervise your children.

Bikerider2020 · 20/02/2020 08:58

@PityParty4one I think you'll find OP has been doing that, might be worth RTFT! 🙄

OPs explained her reasons etc, she's taken the children into her bedroom at night.

Jeez sone people like to state the bloody obvious that's been covered umpteen times!

HoppingPavlova · 20/02/2020 09:45

I think it's telling that the Australians on the thread all appear to be #TeamFence. I assume they know what they're talking about.

Not necessarily, I think we just spew back what our laws are. To be fair since strict conditions and mandatory inspections came in drownings in pools have plummeted. That basically means the number of young kids drowning has drastically decreased but our other stars remain stable. The majority of drownings here are river and sea based and the main age group affected are young men and alcohol is generally involved. However, there are some child drownings in the river/beach stats but overwhelmingly they tend to be backyard pool based.

It’s not just fences. It’s so much more than that. It’s about having any item a certain distance from the pool fence, not having a tap under the fence bigger than a rat could squeeze through, no shrubbery nearby etc. The requirements seem to get even stricter each year. We passed our pool inspection 3 years ago. Nothing has changed and we have just had to spend 7K on our recent one to bring it up to current code to be passed.

Also, a note to anyone overseas who thinks licking the pool fence is a great idea, it’s not! They are meant to have childproof entries as standard. Unfortunately if you have a little Houdini that can scale a safety pool fence and you need to get them out quickly, Ravi g back into the house to get the keys for the pool fence, coming back and unlocking it and getting in to get them out will waste precious time potentially with devastating or fatal consequences. Even with the amped up adrenaline the average adult cannot jump a pool fence to code.

HoppingPavlova · 20/02/2020 09:46

*stats not stars

HoppingPavlova · 20/02/2020 09:47

*gap not tap (which autocorrect keeps changing to rap so no idea how it changed gap to tap). Ffs

HoppingPavlova · 20/02/2020 09:48

*locking, not licking.

racing back to house Combo of autocorrect and fat fingers. Will smash it now

Nowayorhighway · 20/02/2020 09:49

YANBU. My exH was from a country like this and also had a pool in his garden, he had to jump in and save his younger brother’s life when he fell in and almost drown at a family party.

undercoveraessedai · 20/02/2020 10:01

I think you're doing all the right things OP - I live near the coast and in my twenties I lived for a year with some of my family nearby, who had kids and a pool. The one golden rule we've always had is that you never, ever go near the pool alone - kid or adult! Pool also had proper safety cover and I still worried about the children when I was in charge.

Reallybadidea · 20/02/2020 10:09

Near me there is a house with 3 young children with a huge pond /small lake very close to the house. No fencing. Grandma is a retired health visitor. Regularly see the children playing in the garden with parent gardening with back turned. I find it absolutely astonishing. If I were to ever see them alone in the garden I'd be on the phone to social services, but otherwise I just hope they're more alert to the danger than they appear to be.

Wombatstew · 20/02/2020 10:24

YANBU I would feel exactly the same OP and it’s the early mornings that would worry me most too. If the patio doors can’t be locked from the inside can you get a piece of thin dowling / pole / even a stick that you can put in the door track to prevent it from being slid open.

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