To think I will be dismissed for sickness record?

[nojob]

I started a new job last October with 3 month probation. I was told in January that my probation was to be extended for 2 months 'due to absence' as I'm not fully trained up yet and haven't been able to demonstrate I can meet the required standard. They said they are confident that I should meet the required standard by the end of February.

I have been off sick for 10 days in total (2 days in November, 2 days in December, 1 day in January all due to very bad periods and 5 days last week due to a heavy cold.). Can they decide not to pass my probation even if my performance is ok? They haven't said anything yet but I get the vibe that they are not very supportive of sickness. I missed some important training when I was off last week. Should I be worried?

I’m a man I don’t think women who are legitimately sick are taking advantage of their period if it is really that bad and painful.
I’ve had appendicitis and if it feels anything like it I don’t blame you for calling in sick!
If it is a on going condition and they have an educated manager I’m sure they can come to an agreement?

I agree a lot of women are a good asset to a company. I find them more responsible.

RAC: some women get very painful period pains. Just because you might had yours you can’t claim they all feel the same.

“Just claim disability” for something that affects someone two days a month? Chance would be a fine thing. It’s nigh on impossible now claiming disability for something that affects you constantly.

If it is a on going condition and they have an educated manager I’m sure they can come to an agreement?

I’m lucky in that my manager, a man, is great. I’m good at my job and work hard. I’ve found it’s often women that can be very unsympathetic about period issues. If they don’t suffer and can ‘manage their pesky reproductive organs’ then apparently every other woman can do the same. It’s a common opinion unfortunately.

CLT: glad to hear you can manage your career with what you have and have a sympathetic manager.
I agree there are a lot of tough women who are like a brick wall and no matter what you say or what kind of evidence you show even if it’s scientific they still can’t see it past it...

It’s not comparable - most of us manage perfectly well with a couple of paracetamol and some chocolate.

Well, as I said earlier, I feel like I’m in labour every month. Women need understanding. We’re not lying. Our pain doesn’t go away with paracetamol and chocolate. Our ‘pesky reproductive organs’ can’t always be managed.

And a lollipop?! To end it on a good note perhaps?
Of all the things I’ve heard that must be the most.....

zorroinlondon

Thank you. 😊

I’m going to leave it there now. I found it very difficult when overnight in my 30s my life had to change so much. As I’ve said on other threads, my life, work, holidays, nights out, time spent with my children etc are all affected by my periods. That’s bad enough without other people trying to make me and women like me feel worse with their shitty comments.

What I would say to these women, put yourself in my situation. What would you do? How would you feel? I’m pretty sure I’m wasting my time here though.

Hope all works out for you OP.

No one has suggested women should get the special treatment because of a bad period. I think they are saying they should be allowed to take a day or two off sick when it is unbearable. I know what is unbearable pain when I had an appendicitis.. if it’s anything like it I wouldn’t go to work either.
As for the solution? Flexibility because you can’t ask women to claim disability when they want to work and can work. Even disabled people want to work!

@ChickLit, I also suffered with endo and adenomyosis but I had a hysterectomy last year and it has been life-changing. There is no way that a person can be expected to go through that level of pain every month.

I will say though that unlike the OP, I used a combination of annual leave/working on weekends to make up for the time I had to take as sick leave. I think the reason why so many PPs (myself included) aren't on the OPs side here is that it appears she has made zero effort to take some responsibility for her sick leave by making up the time elsewhere. And again, 5 flipping days for a cold is totally OTT.

@runningAwaywiththecircus there is absolutely no way I could cope with a couple of paracetamol and chocolate, paracetamol doesn't even begin to touch the pain for me.

Perhaps you think Ayn Rand has some good points to make too.
I do, as it happens.
How did I guess?

It’s not comparable - most of us manage perfectly well with a couple of paracetamol and some chocolate
I think you mean 'It’s not comparable for most of us'. Sure, most of us manage, but the other fact is that a minority don't – well, can't.

Again you harp on how women 'could go for self-employment' – well, not in all instances by any means.
Or women are OK if they 'have highly niche/ in-demand skills'. Yes, sure, a solution; but again, not for everyone.
'work part-time, seasonally, or otherwise.' PT jobs are either like gold dust or (often) poorly paid and low-status. OK, some women want them or will be happy with them, but not all. And women continuing to make up the majority of poorly-paid and low-status employees will hardly contribute to the equality you claim to want.

Or 'find a flexible employer who lets them catch up' is frankly the only sensible thing you've said. Although I will say that rather than women having to seek out/be lucky to find one, all employers should be prepared to be more flexible.

Maybe they should over dose themselves with plenty of paracetamol, lots of chocolate and hot chocolate and a lollipop while they are at it?
Just because it works for you it doesn’t mean it works for everyone.

Totally agree with:
“ Or 'find a flexible employer who lets them catch up' is frankly the only sensible thing you've said. Although I will say that rather than women having to seek out/be lucky to find one, all employers should be prepared to be more flexible.”

What medical interventions are you getting for the heavy periods?

I did have a dreadful sickness record for a while with monthly pain. However it was a couple of years after having dd and was occurring following complication from the birth. It led to intense pain twice a month. I was under the hospital for it and ended up having two ops to sort it out. My work place were sympathetic as they were aware (my previous sickness was fine including at my previous work places) and knew it was being investigated, and I had medical notes to support what was happening. Even despite that it was still dealt with under HR and OH. I felt dreadful having to let down work and tbh I'd have totally understood if they'd ended up having to let me go due to it tbh.

I've been unfortunate over the years to have had to deal with some health issues which have meant time of work, some lengthy ones. Nothing I could help - think hospitalisation, operations, etc. So I can't say I'm one of these 'never had a day off work in 20 odd years' - to be honest Dh is one of those though and I know for sure that (a) he's just very lucky with health so far and it's nothing he does that makes it that way, just luck and (b) he's been to work with colds and viruses when he shouldn't and has then passed in the bugs to other colleagues which worries me as some of his clients are vulnerable.

it's only employees on PAYE who tend to take sick days though, self employed staff or contractors miraculously manage to get on with it.

So self employed people don't ever get hospitalised or have to have operations then? They never get diagnosed with a long term medical condition and never develop a disability? So self employed people never get cancer, or pneumonia, or flu or other serious illnesses? Do they have some special vaccination that means they are somehow immune?!

Total nonsense of course. They may drag themselves in with a cold or virus, but the reality is that some people are just lucky with health and medical conditions and it doesn't matter whether they are employed by a company or self employed.

Yes I’d like to know this medicine too so I can fortify my body of everything!!!
You do wonder about some of the comments here!

I had a dreadful cold the week before last and was literally on my knees for 3 days at work, but there no way I would have considered calling in sick.

Yeah, whilst the OP is not in a great position work wise this kind of thing really doesn't help.

Going into work whilst 'on your knees' with illness is nothing to be proud of it.
At best it's irresponsible and selfish. At worst it's dangerous.

Due to chronic medical condition and medication my immunise system is severely compromised at times. This is the case for many people. You going into work whilst clearly ill spreads the germs and bugs to other people, including those who may be vulnerable. If they then get your cold - spread easily in offices and work places - they could become properly poorly. And it would be because of your irresponsibility and selfishness. You'd properly then whinge at those people talking time off for 'just a cold' afterwards too