To think I will be dismissed for sickness record?

[nojob]

I started a new job last October with 3 month probation. I was told in January that my probation was to be extended for 2 months 'due to absence' as I'm not fully trained up yet and haven't been able to demonstrate I can meet the required standard. They said they are confident that I should meet the required standard by the end of February.

I have been off sick for 10 days in total (2 days in November, 2 days in December, 1 day in January all due to very bad periods and 5 days last week due to a heavy cold.). Can they decide not to pass my probation even if my performance is ok? They haven't said anything yet but I get the vibe that they are not very supportive of sickness. I missed some important training when I was off last week. Should I be worried?

When people say that you can't take two days a month off with period pain they mean that you can't do it because you will very probably lose your job. That is just an unfortunate fact. OP needs to find a better treatment or (if they are regular) or book annual leave each month. That's the only way she's going to keep any job,

@ChickLitLover
To tell these women ‘they can’t’ is bullshit. They can, they have to and they do. If OP needs the time off, she needs the time off. 🤷🏻‍♀️

• No employer has to accommodate someone taking days off sick each month for periods. It doesn’t matter if you bleed out completely and need a blood transfusion.... no one owes you a job. If an employer can accommodate that, then great, but there are many workplaces that can’t, and that’s a fact. So OP either needs to find an employer who can accommodate her (and being honest at the interview stage would be the correct way to start), or she has to find a solution to her periods. Taking a job and just assuming you can take two days a month off is absurd!

Yes and if he employer needs someone who can do the job they need someone who can do the job

To tell these women ‘they can’t’ is bullshit. They can, they have to and they do. If OP needs the time off, she needs the time off.

And that's fine, but she can't expect to keep her job while she takes the equivalent of five weeks off sick each year. And that's before you include any other sicknesses that might occur on top of that.

I don't know many employers who would tolerate such high levels of sickness (disability aside). I can't help but wonder whether OP would take that much time off if she was self-employed or didn't get paid for it. In her last job there were clearly no consequences for her absence. Now there are consequences and she doesn't like it.

I don't know many employers who would tolerate such high levels of sickness (disability aside).

Even with disability most employers wouldn't tolerate two days off sick every month, particularly for a new employee.

@adaline
Wow, when you convert it to 5 weeks, it just goes to show how what may seem like odd days here and there can cost a business dearly.

If OP is that unwell that she can't work and retain a job, then maybe she should waste her time and try claiming disability allowance.

Employers are not charities and why would they employ someone who clearly isn't fit enough to work?

Ok let’s get some perspective here because we can all have different point of views but I’m sure we share the substance:
I'm not going to comment too much on periods because I’m not an expert and clearly I can’t have them. But what I’ve had is appendicitis and that was so painful I really thought I was going to die of pain. Someone told me having a very very severe period pain can feel similarly plus the hormones all over the place and if that’s the case I wouldn’t go into work if I had that sort of pain. If this information is wrong then I’m happy to stand corrected.
This is not to say OP had this severe pain or that she had. No one really knows only OP does and I’m not going to call anyone a liar because we are just having a conversation.
With regards to becoming pregnant why shouldn’t she decide when she wants to have a baby? For all we know this could have been discussed and planned between her partner and OP ages ago before she went for the job and may have nothing to do with the timing of the job. If you (whoever you are) are implying that she should not because of small or large business financial pressure then how on earth do you expect women to work unless you are implying they shouldn’t or should wait until they are 40 or 50 or nearing retirement? Incidentally I do know of several women who had new borns and worked and somehow they managed and I take my hat off to them for their resilience but not every woman can.
I had shared parental leave 3 half years ago and I’m not ashamed of it. I would in fact go as far as to say the experience motivated me more to focus on my work because I wanted to do better for myself because of my son so he would have a good role model as a father. So in this instance the employer gained more than what it lost in the long run. Did it not?
Now let’s get to the nitty gritty here:

1. If you are genuinely very sick call work and decide if you should be off. Otherwise go to work because people need you and you need yourself respect.
2. If you are getting pregnant do it because you really want a family not because you want to play the system because there’s nothing worse than having unwanted children because the little ones deserve better!

I believe no one is in disagreement with point 1 & 2?

If OP is that unwell that she can't work and retain a job, then maybe she should waste her time and try claiming disability allowance.

My GP actually suggested this to me. 😩 But it seems ridiculous. I’m fine for at least 3 weeks out of 4, so to basically say I couldn’t work from age 35 onwards is crazy. Some months I’m only ill enough that I can’t go out a few days, other months, it’s a week. I’m luck that I have a career that allows me to work at home but some people don’t have that type of job. Companies should allow for this. Women should be protected from basically what should fall under discrimination. I don’t feel that I should receive any form of disability allowance when I’m not disabled and for a problem that only means I struggle a few days each month. Also any type of disability allowance is nowhere near the salary I am paid for working.

Employers are not charities and why would they employ someone who clearly isn't fit enough to work?

And can the country really afford to pay for women to not work at all and give them disability allowance because they have a few days out of 28 days when they can’t work? I don’t think so.

It’s more costly to the tax payer to fund for disability when they can and want to work. We aren’t talking about those we want to take advantage, we are talking about those who are really sick but want to put into the system

Really good point ChickLitLover, I don't know what the answer is but here must be one better than claim benefits

It’s more costly to the tax payer to fund for disability when they can and want to work

Well OP has taken between 1 and 2 days each month for period pain, she can work all the other days of the month.
I can and want to work, I just can’t for between 3 and 7 days each month, some of which will fall on weekends, bank holidays and annual leave. So I’d be disgusted if someone like me should have to resort to claiming that I’m disabled. I’m not.

Really good point ChickLitLover, I don't know what the answer is but here must be one better than claim benefits

I don’t know either. I completely understand that it’s hard for companies, especially small ones. But as a woman who had no issues with periods until I reached my 30’s, but then started suffering with the most awful pain each month, I feel strongly that something should be in place that allows women like me to continue working and not be at a disadvantage. I’ve posted about my periods before, they affect every aspect of my life. But I want to work and there are people who are actually disabled with conditions that really do prevent them from doing so much including working, that are far more deserving of disability allowance than me. I just need help 1 week in 4, often only a few days. I’m not happy to be wrote off because I have bad periods.

I know of a few companies who are very understanding of women going through the menopause, they’ve educated their managers on being understanding and making allowances including being understanding of needing time off. The government needs to throw its weight behind this type of thinking and extend it to younger women having issues with periods.

If you can only work three weeks per month, then you can really only work part time, ChickLit. Unless it’s a role where you can make up the time yourself at a time that suits you and doesn’t inconvenience anyone else.
Expecting any company to suck up the difference (usually by pushing the work into colleagues) is nobody’s definition of “fair” either.

I think the point you’re missing, is that no one would be able to claim disability benefit for period pains. So no we don’t need to find an alternative to that and no businesses shouldn’t have to find a way round it. To suggest period pins should fall under discrimination is about the most ridiculous thing I’ve heard for a long time. Furthermore it would set equality back a generation or more.

Anyone with that condition, who can’t get it sorted with the doctor, has their own responsibility to find a job that can accommodate them (FT time or WFH). You can’t force an employer to give you 5 extra weeks holiday per year for period pains.

RunningAwaywiththeCircus, but how about the other 10%? I'm pretty lucky with periods myself, but I know a couple of people at least who probably fall into that. Apart from the 2-ish days a month when they physically can't work due to pain, nausea and vomiting, they're active, energetic, dedicated, skilled and talented employees.

Self-employment is not possible or sustainable for everyone due to personal circumstances, the kind of jobs people want/do/are good at etc. It's not as easy as just 'trying' it like you'd try a new kind of soup

There is at least one poster on here who's had claiming disability (why the snitty quote marks?) suggested to her. She has not found her health issues 'less debilitating' or magically discovered 'more resilience' just because that was presented as an option.

Your comment about work not being a punishment is very supercilious and patronising.

35 pages did OP come back?

2 days every month for periods?
so 10% if you take that most months are around 20 working days - plus additional weeks for a cold. Your periods never fall over weekends?

I am amazed they've not got rid already - and that you've taken all this and not bothered to look at their sickness absence policy.

Depending on the nature of your work, if they have a flexible working policy and you not being in the office isn't throwing other work on team members, negotiate a 0.9 FTE contract (and pay) that allows you the 2 days a month?

It's not 'special pleading' (and again, why the snitty quote marks?) and some women are not able to 'just get on with' their jobs.

'pesky reproductive organs' sounds very sneery.

You do not seem like much of a 'died in the wool feminazi' to me. And I couldn't give a shiny shite whose dime you raised your children on.

Perhaps you think Ayn Rand has some good points to make too.

It demeans those of us (90%, by my reckoning) that just get on with our jobs and manage our pesky reproductive organs without causing massive disruption to our employer.

Well I do just ‘get on with my job’ when I don’t have period pains that I can only compare to being in labour. Like I say, I had no issues til I was in my 30’s, the same may happen to you and stop you in your tracks one day. Until then, you’ll continue to be someone who tries to make women like me with endometriosis and adenomyosis feel like shit. Crack on. I prefer to not to make people feel like shit. I’ve seen many gynaecologists and had various treatments, my conditions have so far not been able to be ‘managed.’ I’m glad you’d reproductive organs behave better. 🙄

*your