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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I will be dismissed for sickness record?

999 replies

nojob · 18/02/2020 19:02

I started a new job last October with 3 month probation. I was told in January that my probation was to be extended for 2 months 'due to absence' as I'm not fully trained up yet and haven't been able to demonstrate I can meet the required standard. They said they are confident that I should meet the required standard by the end of February.

I have been off sick for 10 days in total (2 days in November, 2 days in December, 1 day in January all due to very bad periods and 5 days last week due to a heavy cold.). Can they decide not to pass my probation even if my performance is ok? They haven't said anything yet but I get the vibe that they are not very supportive of sickness. I missed some important training when I was off last week. Should I be worried?

OP posts:
Thewarrenerswife · 20/02/2020 10:00

I suspect that you have possibly already lost this job. If they already spoke to you about absence, and you took more time off at such an early stage, I’d be very surprised if they keep you on. Chalk it up to a job that wasn’t meant to be, and look for another.

A couple of things worth remembering. The absences which trigger absence policies, and over all sit poorly with employers, are the odd days here and there. A staff member who has 6months off for surgery, and recovery, or even a week off for flu won’t be as exposed as someone who has one or two days off every other month. The reason for that, is those odd days build a picture of someone who isn’t committed. Even in a small business, if a large proportion of the work force took 3 days off every two months, over a year, the cost to the business would be phenomenal.

The other thing is, your attitude towards your employer. I just get the sense that you’re looking for a way to catch them out. ‘Are they being reasonable?’, ‘should they give me more feedback’, ‘is that bad practice?’.

If as an employee you can put yourself in the employers shoes, imagine how you would feel if the wages you and your colleagues took, came from your pocket. Would you want to be paying Sandra for taking 15 fag breaks a day? would you want to take you on? Knowing little about you, and seeing so many days off? Remember, no one owes you a job. Whether you have heavy periods, migraines, epilepsy, no legs, you are not owed the opportunity to work.

For future reference, you have to work somewhere for 2 years before you can start claiming for unfair/constructive dismissal. With a few exceptions of discrimination.

Good luck.

Thewarrenerswife · 20/02/2020 10:10

I’m not sure if this has been said, but those saying stay at home with a cold to stop the spread. Viral colds are contagious 1-2 days before symptoms show, and for up to 2 weeks after that. That’s why everyone ends up with them. Hygiene is the key. Catch it, Bin it, Kill it! Poster it everywhere during cold season, leave hand sanitizer in all communal areas, and frown at any employee seen sneezing on the water dispenser! Grin

janj2301 · 20/02/2020 10:20

3 periods of sickness in 1st months at b&q and you're out. Daughter had migraines, fired

janj2301 · 20/02/2020 10:21

What should read 1st 18 months

vhs95 · 20/02/2020 10:30

Kids are encouraged to go to school with a head cold - schools would be half empty at this time of year otherwise. Can't believe the pathetic posts on here re staying at home unless your job specifically excludes you from going in - practice good hygiene and keep your germs to yourself at work (and at home).

CorianderLord · 20/02/2020 10:35

I feel quite bad for you as I know some women who's periods are so bad they flood constantly and throw up from the pain for a few days.

They have sick notes though from the GP and some have agreed to making up the missed days at the weekend where possible.

It must suck though. It's also annoying because I don't want anyone with a bad cold in my office but we're shown we have to go in.

Once you're past probs toon you can usually arrange to WFH with a cold if possible.

@bigchris lots of people can't take ibuprofen. Just thought I'd point that out - DP can't due to an oesophageal hernia and I can't due to history of stomach problems.

@twillow my GP gave me antibiotics last year and said to take them if I felt worse because I had exams coming up. Some Gps do give out precautionary

Movinghouseatlast · 20/02/2020 10:37

It is of course really awful that people have dreadful illnesses and still have to work. It's awful having to go to work with bad period pain, while miscarrying, everything people have said.

But this is capitalism, and whilst there is sick pay available, and reasonable adjustments for disability, at the end of the day your employer is entitled to dismiss you for non attendance.

Yes, you can't help being sick, yes you are genuinely I'll but they can still dismiss you.

People who really want to go to work will go with minor illnesses, or will maybe ask to work from home. I'm self employed and have had 3 days off sick in 20 years. I'm not a martyr I just knew I wouldn't get paid. So I worked through a miscarriage because I was capable to, but not through flu and food poisoning because I couldn't get out of bed and was incapable.

I worked with someone recently who manages a woman with cancer. She pays for a drug which is not yet licenced by NICE, the drug keeps her alive. She has to carry on working literally to stay alive.

OP try mefanaemic acid for your periods. It was a game changer for me.

daisypond · 20/02/2020 10:39

Once you're past probs toon you can usually arrange to WFH with a cold if possible.
In most jobs it is not allowed to work from home. It is not usual at all.

woodchuck99 · 20/02/2020 10:47

In most jobs it is not allowed to work from home. It is not usual at all.

It's quite usual in a lot of professional jobs to work from home if you're infectious. It probably only happens if working from home is considered acceptable anyway. It's obvious it won't work for jobs but even then I think workplaces should give more consideration to letting those with bad colds to sit away from other workers and to encourage good hygiene. Ultimately that would make sense as it would reduce sickness.

woodchuck99 · 20/02/2020 10:47

for all jobs

PlomBear · 20/02/2020 10:51

I’ve been able to WFH in most of my jobs, it’s been encouraged due to lack of office space.

Miscarriages come under pregnancy related illness. It can’t be counted as sick leave for disciplinary reasons.

maternityaction.org.uk/advice/sickness-during-pregnancy-and-maternity-leave/

curlsnotfrizz · 20/02/2020 10:55

I have had office jobs pretty much most of my working life. None of the places I worked for allowed WFH.

Besides, many don't have an office based job so WFH is out for them too.

Miscarriages come under pregnancy related illness. It can’t be counted as sick leave for disciplinary reasons.

I have friends who went to work whilst having a M/C. It may not count as sick leave but if you cannot afford unpaid sick leave, people ust go in - wether it's a M/C or another illness.

Emmelina · 20/02/2020 10:57

WFH isn’t an option for me as a TA (former teacher), other than the usual paperwork I end up taking home. Usually I’ve caught something from the little angels themselves! I’m 121 for a child with complex needs who hates change (including change of people) so it can be very traumatic for them to have a supply or someone from another class in my place, which impacts on the other pupils and staff. V+D is an unavoidable absence but everything else I have to battle through pretty much! Never underestimate the power of multivitamins and good home and personal hygiene!!

PlomBear · 20/02/2020 10:57

But there are limits to going to work despite no pay aren’t there. There are some things you can’t go into work with!

Hospital inpatient, surgery, broken limbs, childbirth, communicable diseases. It’s no matter if your sick pay isn’t paid. You can’t be in work.

That’s why coronavirus will be so interesting.

Jojowash · 20/02/2020 11:06

5 days off for a cold? Was that necessary? Dose yourself up with meds and carry on. If this is your performance when you know your job is on the line, what would it be like when you’re safe in a job?

Where I work it’s really physical and mentally draining but when you’re not there the other staff feel the pressure. Taking time off for your periods isn’t really a reasonable excuse, again pain meds on day and get to your doctors for help.

As an employer I wouldn’t want you permanently. I think they could not continue your contract due to performance.

curlsnotfrizz · 20/02/2020 11:11

Hospital inpatient, surgery, broken limbs, childbirth, communicable diseases. It’s no matter if your sick pay isn’t paid. You can’t be in work.

I don't argue that. But having had a miscarriage and given birth, I can tell you I would not have been able to do my job whilst pushing out a baby. I could have, however, handled going to work whilst having a m/c. It was (in my case), just like a very heavy and very painful period which.

You cannot really compare being on a theatre table with bleeding through a m/c in most cases.

Unfortunately, we live in times when women (or man) have to go into work with all kind of ailmements when they would be better off resting at home simply because it's not affordable, at least not if you can get yourself to work.

I really dont know what you don't understand about it. I am not talking about people in a coma in ICU.

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 20/02/2020 11:15

I wonder how many of the posters on here who claim to never have a sick day "work from home" regularly

Never work from home! I work in a school so not an option! On half term at the moment. My loving DH has given me his cold but IF it was a school week I’d still be going in but ensuring that I wash hands and dispose of tissues properly and wiping the phone and keyboard. If school staff were absent for colds at this time if year there would be nobody teaching the little angels. As it is I am doing my best to enjoy my time off but not cuddling my own DS as I am trying not to pass it to him.

MrsBadcrumble123 · 20/02/2020 11:21

Periods and a cold?! Are you kidding me - sorry to say you’re not a great sounding employee and need to take some responsibility for getting yourself treated by your GP for the periods and just suck it up with the colds - dose yourself up and go into work!!

SamBee1 · 20/02/2020 11:22

I'd be prioritising looking at why your periods are causing such pain they keep you from work. I'll probably be flamed for this, but I find that women can be the least sympathetic to other women who have intense period pains on the basis that they 'also' have period pains.

Sad truth is that I have seen my own girlfriend pass out from the pain of her periods. She has endemetriosis and polycystic ovaries, and had multiple operations. Fortunately in her early 40's she's got much better management of the situation than it was for her in her early 20's, but it still limits her being able to work a 'regular' job. If you're just starting down the path of a career, please do ensure you investigate any underlying health problems that could impact you on regular basis so you can prepare and build around it. Most GP's are far ahead of where they were 20 years ago when the typical response would be 'take some ibuprofen and deal with it', although that still exists to a degree.

daisypond · 20/02/2020 11:27

I’m in a professional job and can’t work from home- because I need both specialist equipment and software, none of which my company are prepared to buy at great expense, and install and set up just for one person. Also, getting through enhanced security systems make home working less efficient for the company, plus a range of tech issues that can ensue. It’d be loads better for me if I could.

kevintheorangecarrot · 20/02/2020 11:29

That's a lot of days off in a short amount of time. I think you need to start looking for another job.

Wassmin7 · 20/02/2020 11:36

Hi, my husband keeps using my shampoo without my permission knowing that it's special for my hair condition and he can use any type of shampoo, when I kindly asked him to not share my shampoo he went madAngry as I don't understand the concept of couple life!!
Aibu to expect him to leave my shampoo and use any other brand?

BigChocFrenzy · 20/02/2020 11:37

Returning to the OP's situation, the probation period is when you have to drag yourself in, ^
unless it is actually dangerous to yourself or others

Probation is when the employer takes a long look at your work and attitude, what you achieve, how your skills develop, how you fit into the team etc
before deciding whether to keep you on

You have to adhere to their standards and criteria for staying home, not your own.

The OP needs to realise that an employee is totally different to her mum:

The employer wants the job done as efficiently as possible
and if the OP is less effective a worker because of all her absences, if she disrupts the team, then she will probably be sacked and replaced by someone else

The easier her skills are to replace, the more likely she will be sacked

johnmartinday · 20/02/2020 11:37

To Nicknacky:
What did I say that was wrong?
To inform her of some basic standards such as to check her contract and policy regarding probation periods and extensions if in case they want to terminate her contract she would at least have something on the table to discuss with them and hopefully not lose her job if she puts in a good defence. How’s that wrong advice? The company can thereafter stipulate certain conditions and if she breaks them then she’s gone. She had her chance.
With regards to the two year period of employment before you can claim unfair dismissal I said I agreed with it after I realised I had not stipulated that in my previous message.
If you are unsure about the above pls read my messages again. I didn’t tell her it was ok to call I sick as many times as she liked unless you read that from someone else’s comment?
I have praised people who go to work when they are not well including someone I knew who was handicapped. I have also given an example of when I had someone sick with a bad cold at work then three days later half my team was off sick to explain it doesn’t always pay to make people work when they have a bad cold or flu.
It’s about balance.
I also said that I didn’t know her specific circumstances so I wasn’t going to judge her and instead gave her some advice on what she could do to try and keep her job if they wanted to sack her, because who really wants to lose their job? And what’s wrong with having a civilised conversation with your employer and letting them know they were going to terminate her contract contrary to the terms of her contract or company policy if she had a good reason to save her job? It’s worth a try is it not? Or would you rather she went down the job centre and claimed unemployment benefit from our taxes?
Also I don’t particularly like to work in places where people practice poor hygiene standards or sneeze everywhere and make others sick. Colds are airborne all you need is someone to cough and anyone can catch it, infections and germs are usually transmitted through anything they touch including door knobs which you need to touch to get into work then you catch it! Actually the thought of catching something that came from someone’s mouth or nose is enough to make me feel sick. I don’t see why we should suffer just because people think toughen up and go to work regardless... Furthermore, I have a toddler who has a condition (he may well have it for the rest of his life) so I have to be extra careful and therefore I’m straight with my employer about my working conditions if they don’t like it they don’t have to hire me.
Lastly I have a law degree so I do have some expertise...

BigChocFrenzy · 20/02/2020 11:39

I agree with pp about insisting your periods are dealt with
If necessary, save up and go private

This condition is seriously affecting your quality of life and your whole future career
Invest time & money in your health now, while you are still young and can cope better with operations etc if need be.

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