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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate being at home in the school holidays?

305 replies

AAAHHHHH · 18/02/2020 15:05

I'm at home with my 4 year old and she's driving me crazy. She won't stop talking, I can't even listen to an audiobook.

Everytime I tell her to play in her room, she just follows me. I can't get much cleaning done and theres no point really as she keeps making a mess.

We cant go anywhere as theres nothing to do for free (no money atm) and it's raining so the park is off our list.

I feel terrible as well, because shes so inquisitive but I just really hate having to tell her why and what and how to nearly everything.

OP posts:
Arthritica · 18/02/2020 16:14

YANBU.

Often the holidays are brilliant and we love spending time with our children.
Sometimes the weather is shit, the park is flooded, friends are away, money is tight, we’re cold and tired and stressed and there is NO GAP in the flow of MummyMummyMummyMummy and you’d sell your kidney for a quiet hour and a chance to think.

These days pass. Get through as best you can and don’t condemn yourself. Brighter days are coming

AcrossthePond55 · 18/02/2020 16:17

Have you tried the 'See who can be quietest the longest' game?

I was quite the chatterbox and my mum used to do that with a few sweets or whatever for the 'winner'. Either she got 5-10 minutes of peace or she got to eat the sweets. Guess she thought of it as a win/win situation.

Stephminx · 18/02/2020 16:17

I’m appalled you think it’s reasonable to be listening to an audiobook while ignoring the 4 year old in your sole care.

I have a similar age child and a baby. Yes, the days can be long (and dull) sometimes. However, I cannot believe that you think leaving a small child on their own for any length of time so you can go and to listen to an audiobook is acceptable. That is a big difference from popping them in front of the tv for 5 minutes to change the washing !

Your child wants/needs you to be a parent. There’s loads of stuff you can do for free both inside and outside, in the home and elsewhere (I’m not bothering to repeat all the suggestions). Get on with it.

Then, when your husband comes in hand them over for a bit and unwind then.

If you’re struggling with something else, you need to address that (either here for advice or IRL). You need to deal with your problems so you can be an effective (and safe) parent. If there is a serious issue and you need help, then get it (friends, relatives, DH etc).

whowillcookdinner · 18/02/2020 16:19

I agree with Yellwat. Some very nasty people on here today. Being a good parent is not about being the sole source of entertainment all day every day.
Stick CBeebies on and make a cup of tea. Be kind to yourself OP Thanks

formerbabe · 18/02/2020 16:19

I’m appalled you think it’s reasonable to be listening to an audiobook while ignoring the 4 year old in your sole care

Get a grip...it's listening to an audio book, not smoking a crack pipe ffs.

Blackandgreenteas · 18/02/2020 16:19

'See who can be quietest the longest' this is called “The King of Silence” isn’t it?

Although when I type it it sounds quite sexist!

Elbeagle · 18/02/2020 16:19

Appalled... really? About listening to an audiobook? Absolute hyperbole.

Blackandgreenteas · 18/02/2020 16:21

Do you what has helped with my 6 yo? A Lego table. With Lego permanently on it to play with. He’ll just drift off and play with that when he wouldn’t with other things. It’s also in a room that doesn’t otherwise have toys in which maybe helps.

BrendasUmbrella · 18/02/2020 16:22

When you put her down for a nap, could you lie with her and put your audiobook on then? It might help her drop off.

Save the cleaning for when she's in bed. Don't stress yourself. Just put on whatever kids cartoons you don't find obnoxious and veg out in front of the TV.

Iusedtobeapartygirl · 18/02/2020 16:23

Why on Earth did you have a child? It sounds like you hate being a parent.

StillSurviving · 18/02/2020 16:23

I think it’s easiest if you go out and do something each morning. Walk to the shops, go to the library, do errands, park. Come home, have lunch, and do something like bake or paint. Then screen time. Early dinner and long bath with lots of toys. Bedtime - listen to an audio book together. Honestly, if you’ve been out the house first the rest of the day feels much easier....

Eustaciavile · 18/02/2020 16:24

Poor OP
Ignore all the mean mummies who are appalled, yes APPALLED that you would even consider listening to an audiobook whilst you have sole charge of a 4 year 😂😂😂
the hyperbole!!
Hunger, war violence, all appalling, audiobooks? Not so much!!
Parenting is a hard slog at times, you’ll get through it!
Flowers

RainydaysandMondaysalways · 18/02/2020 16:24

I always find the first few days of the holidays are a bit.... Intense! Then everyone settles into the new routine. Then its time to go back to school again!

Elbeagle · 18/02/2020 16:24

BrendasUmbrella a nap? My 4 year old hasn’t napped for 2.5 years!

cantkeepawayforever · 18/02/2020 16:27

Might it help for you to set a mental routine / timetable for you (and if it helps, her as well)?

If it involves you moving into different parts of the house as well,that's a bonus - so cooking in the kitchen, then playing with balls on the stairs, then reading snuggled up in her room, then drawing in the sitting room, then she gets 30 mins of TV / tablet because you have to make a phone call. She'll be familiar with routines from school / preschool, and may actually become less demanding when she knows what's happening now / then / next.

Not being able to go outside is tricky, though. Swimming? A zumba routine on the TV that you do together (there are some good kids ones)? Sitting Room Circuits?

Molly2017 · 18/02/2020 16:27

The thing is you loose sympathy for someone who has a 4 yr old who will happily sit down and watch a movie when you’ve got children who would never do this in a million yrs and as a result I haven’t sat down and listened to an audio book since they were born (truth).
Unless the OP is about to disclose some serious issue preventing her from parenting I don’t know what she was expecting the school holidays at home with a 4 yr old to be like.

Elbeagle · 18/02/2020 16:28

OP try cosmic kids yoga on YouTube, my 6 and 4 year olds love it.

phoenixrosehere · 18/02/2020 16:28

Get a grip...it's listening to an audio book, not smoking a crack pipe ffs.

Lol.. best comment ever.. 😂

BrendasUmbrella · 18/02/2020 16:29

a nap? My 4 year old hasn’t napped for 2.5 years!

Well, some children do nap past 18 months... When my son was in nursery they had naptime scheduled into the day.

cantkeepawayforever · 18/02/2020 16:30

I think it’s easiest if you go out and do something each morning.

Oh yes, saved my sanity as a SAHM. Change books at the library, go and get ingredients for whatever you are going to bake, catch the bus to somewhere random ... or just go for a walk. I decided that having a DS was like having a large dog - would have to walk a large dog, so why didn't i just walk my DS? Lots of opportunity for conversation about what you see, too - much less forced than being inside.

Elbeagle · 18/02/2020 16:31

Both mine dropped their nap at 20 months, which I know is slightly on the earlier side but I know a lot of children and don’t know many who napped at 4! Not saying the OP’s doesn’t, obviously, she may well do.
My 4 year old is at school anyway so no chance of a nap.

BarbaraofSeville · 18/02/2020 16:31

Some kids films are quite entertaining for adults too. DP and I watched Toy Story 4 at the weekend.

If you haven't already got Neflix/Now TV movies, you can get a free trial of Now TV movies for a week I think (don't forget to cancel if you don't want to pay. Sign up and then you can watch a different film each day, as well as hopefully being able to get out and about if the weather improves.

MrsHusky · 18/02/2020 16:32

What a lot of smug, horrible people around today...

Do you not all think she might already have spent all day entertaining her child and might actually just want a couple of hours where she's not expected to provide entertainment the entire time?

Its not good for your kids to see you as the sole source of entertainment.. its GOOD for them to be expected to spend some time finding their own appropriate amusement.

IMHO those of you doing mummy overtime and doing EVERYTHING for your kids are making a rod for your own backs later.. so there is my smug mummy moment.

OP.. YANBU, I disliked the holidays at that age for the same reason.. I simply made a routine.. mornings we all played together, after lunch was 'quiet' time where they watched tv/a film or played by themselves while I got a couple of hours relative rest.. then I found an activity to do for a couple of hours before tea time.

I know its raining.. but put her coat/wellies on and take her for a walk or something.. or if you have a car, go for a drive!

Elbeagle · 18/02/2020 16:32

I’m assuming the OP’s is at school too as her title refers to the school holidays.

NotALurker2 · 18/02/2020 16:33

I wouldn't describe wanting to listen to an audiobook while taking care of a 4 year old as appalling. Insanely unrealistic and guaranteed to set OP and her DD up for failure, sure, but not appalling....