To think 3 kids in a 3 bed house is perfectly fine

[Justasconfusedwithnumber2]

Having this discussion with DH atm. We currently have 2yo and 6 week old DSs. We both know God willing we want a third, and would like a similar age gap.
We planned to extend our house in the next few years but after having some smaller projects go on I am massively put off, the chaos was frustrating and difficult with little ones, and realistically the extension would be 100x worse. DH said its best we start looking for a four bed, although in our area they're hard to come by and it's very competitive. I don't think we have the money or strength to move right now tbh. We love our house very much, it's so perfectly located for our lives but it's only 3 bed, with the third room being quite tiny, about 6ft x 8ft tops (of the top of my head) which we use as a nursery. I have absolutely no problem having the two boys in the same room (approx 8ft x 10ft) until they are older and we are hopefully more financially and mentally prepared to move/extend, but DH having always had separate rooms to his siblings, doesn't think its doable.

I get the rooms aren't big, but I find we spend 90% of our time in the living room anyway. Am I going mad to think there's absolutely nothing wrong with what I'm thinking?!!

It's fine. I have three dc and the middle and the youngest share, oldest has the box room. In an ideal world we will extend and get a fourth bedroom. All the dc's rooms will be singles but at least they will have their own space. Mine are all primary age so it isn't a problem but would like an extra room by the time the middle is a teenager.

We are in the same situation. I have a DD (7) and DS(5) and we tried for a 3rd thinking we can cope for a little while in a 3 bed. Our '3rd' is actually twins so we now have to make it work for 4 kids. we panicked at first but actually it's looking doable. We can't extend at all and wont be able to afford to move until childcare isn't needed once the twins are older. My two love sharing and we tried in the past to let them have their own rooms but they don't want them. I shared with my sister longer than I needed to. I tend to think its a lovely thing to have your own room but not a necessity.

Alternatively just stick with two kids.

We have a huge 5-bedroom house and my two boys shared a room by choice until the oldest was 12. They started out in separate rooms, but they the time they were 2 and 4 they moved in together.

Little kids don't need their own rooms.

I'd rather have 4 bedrooms sure but 3 is perfectly adequate.

In my experience kids actively prefer to share a bedroom until they're, what, maybe 6-7-8 years old?

Well I have 4 kids in a 2 bed house.
2 children in each bedroom which are very spacious.
I have a big living room and have a nice sofa bed to sleep on.

Nobody is suffering or emotionally damaged.

Will probably move one day but not sure yet.

I have 2 in a 2 bed, my 2 share

I think it would be fine. Worse case you decide box room too small and extend then. That's not for a few years and you may be up for a project.

You won’t all be spending 90% of your time in the living room when the dc are older. They are tiny now, it’s very different when they are preteens/teens wanting their own space.

It's very true about personality types as well. My 2 boys are so different!

DS9 is a quiet night owl, likes to read for a couple of hours at bedtime, likes things organised & tidy. Likes to build lego quietly.

DS7 is loud & bouncy, very enthusiastic about everything! Likes to set dinosaurs & animals up to be 'Dinosaur World'. Hums & fidgets whilst playing with lego. He's an early bird so is out like a light at bedtime then up early.

It has done their relationship good to have their own space. They play together better now & seem to follow the 'rules' in each others rooms now without being told.

It’s fine, we are in a three bedroom with one of the rooms being tiny and obviously because our two kids have had separate rooms the elder one has accumulated a lot of things. If we have a third which we are thinking about, if the same sex they could share with our elder kid but if not they would need their own room, our younger kid has extra health needs so can’t share a room. Our home is perfect for us and location wise is great etc but I’d love a third I just don’t want to move lol. I’ve even considered me and their dad sleeping downstairs on a sofa bed rather than move, which allows the kids to have a room each lol. I didn’t have my own room growing up and it’s fine but a bit shit.

I shared a room with my sister from birth to adulthood - it was great and I think it made us closer.

You can always plan to extend at a later stage, if sharing doesn’t work well. No need to speculate/spend all that money/cope with the upheaval now, nor before you conceive. Baby will be fine in your room for a year or two anyway.

I feel like you’re borrowing trouble on this given baby 2 is only 6 weeks old, you might not even have number 3!

Anyway we are 5 in a 3 bed house, 11 year old DD has her own room, 8 year old DD and 4 year old DS share. It’s fine. We also lived in a 2 bed house for a year, the two girls shared and DS slept with me & DH, which was also fine. Although we are moving house next week to a bigger house so they won’t share any longer.

We have 5 in a 3 bedroom house (all doubles).

All of the rooms can be partitioned to form nice sized singles. The children have so far asked us not to. They like sharing and the space they have. Eldest is 18.

We also considered moving but again all of the children voted against it.

It works for us. We have however had another bathroom installed, that seemed more important than bedrooms.

Its fine, I know plenty of families with 3 children in a 3 bedroomed house. And I shared a room for my whole childhood too and thought nothing of it,
Ideally if you can when they are older try to add on a bedroom as they would probably want their own space but if you cant its not the end ofthe world,

My 3 all have their own room. But we’re moving abroad soon and the two girls will share a room until one moves out.

I have three children in a two bed. Granted one is a baby who is still in with us but we are considering converting the lounge rather than moving as we love it here

we had 5 kids in a 3 bed. eldest had box room and 3 in other bedroom. Had to move somewher bigger when my wife became pregnant again ! My wife shared a bedroom with her sister until she left for Uni. My dad was one of 9 kids in a three bed. what's the obsession with kids having their own room. Yes perhaps it's ideal but it's a very recent phenomenon.

As one of three who grew up in the mix room I would say don’t do it a tiny bedroom is awful for a teenager and I don’t think my DBS were over the moon sharing in their twenties.

Will you still be able to extend with the cost of a third. Anyway do what makes you happy and you can afford, just saying a box room is shit!

I think it’s fine. We put ourselves under enormous pressure to give our kids everything. Our kids are fortunate to have their own rooms but they are small rooms and my youngest never wants to sleep in her room she wants to be with someone else at night. Growing up I shared a room and it was much more the norm. I think as long as the kids are happy & healthy they are fine.

I would never have more kids than I have bedrooms but I realise that is an unpopular opinion around these parts.

I think everyone should have their own space to retreat to that is just theirs, no matter how small. I’d have rather lived in a cupboard than share a room as a child, and my DD has told me many times she would move to grandma’s if she had to share a room.

We are a family of introverts though, so probably depends on the kids personalities. 🤷‍♀️

Christ, I shared a bedroom with my sister until I was 21, she them went to uni. It didnt kill us, we havent been socially or emotionally effected by it at all. My husband also shared a bedroom with his brother until his brother married and moved out in his mid 20s again no harm done.

it makes you patient and tolerant you learn to find your peace and quiet in other ways, you are more resilient to sharing etc. I think your husband was lucky to have his own space but now hes being silly and a bit precious.

God I hate this attitude of “we grew up with 17 kids in a one bedroom flat so the youth of today don’t deserve anything better”. I’ll hazard a guess you also grew up without the internet and mobile phones, yet here you sit spouting bitterness on Mumsnet...!

I do think communal areas and size rather than number of bedrooms are what makes the difference. Personally I wouldn’t want three children in a 2 + box room house unless there was plenty of downstairs space. Conversely our house seemed perfect when we moved in, with three double bedrooms for 2 adults and 2 young teens who spent most of their lives in their rooms. It doesn’t work so well now for 4 adults plus my daughter’s partner who all like to spend evenings eating and watching tv together in the one stupidly small reception room.

I had to share a room with my sister until I was 18 and I hated it .
Glad for all those saying “never bothered me” but it did bother me !
Also depends on the sex of the kids surely ? You wouldn’t expect a boy and a girl to share beyond the ages of 10 or so would you ? Even the council frown on that when applying for housing