To think 3 kids in a 3 bed house is perfectly fine

[Justasconfusedwithnumber2]

Having this discussion with DH atm. We currently have 2yo and 6 week old DSs. We both know God willing we want a third, and would like a similar age gap.
We planned to extend our house in the next few years but after having some smaller projects go on I am massively put off, the chaos was frustrating and difficult with little ones, and realistically the extension would be 100x worse. DH said its best we start looking for a four bed, although in our area they're hard to come by and it's very competitive. I don't think we have the money or strength to move right now tbh. We love our house very much, it's so perfectly located for our lives but it's only 3 bed, with the third room being quite tiny, about 6ft x 8ft tops (of the top of my head) which we use as a nursery. I have absolutely no problem having the two boys in the same room (approx 8ft x 10ft) until they are older and we are hopefully more financially and mentally prepared to move/extend, but DH having always had separate rooms to his siblings, doesn't think its doable.

I get the rooms aren't big, but I find we spend 90% of our time in the living room anyway. Am I going mad to think there's absolutely nothing wrong with what I'm thinking?!!

I have 3 in a 2 bed and it just works. The bigger 2 share and the toddler is in with us. We have two reception rooms though which makes all the difference. There's enough space for us all to have a room to ourselves if we need to be apart, which is what's most important in my eyes.

We're moving to a 3 bed in a few months and the eldest will have her own space while the other two will share. We'll be loosing the second reception room though, so I'm not sure it'll feel any bigger. But the eldest needs a space of her own now. I think a lot of it depends on how your family are. We're a clingy bunch and rarely use the upstairs apart from sleeping, we prefer to be huddled up together, doing our own thing alongside each other. But other families of five would probably feel very cramped here. Only you can judge your family dynamic and needs, there's no clear cut answer.

It’s perfectly fine. My girls shared right up until my eldest left for university. Ok maybe in some ways it wasn’t ideal, but they both seemed perfectly fine with the arrangement. Obviously it’s different in the case of mixed sexes.

But, by the time they’r both a little older you may well decide that two is plenty, so you may never have to face the issue!

I know someone with 7 kids in a 3 bed. It's ridiculous but 3 in a 3 bed is fine and what was normal when I was growing up. Only the wealthy had 4 bedroom houses.

I think it's fine. As your children grow older they will each want their own room but by then you may be in a better position to move or find experienced and honest builders who will build you an extension in the time they say (it does happen, I live in hope).

You don't have to worry about it right now though, your existing children are very little. If you have a new baby she or he will be in with you for a while too.

I grew up with each our own bedroom and I think that's the ideal. But I'm also reasonable enough to know that the ideal doesn't have to be what you do, and you work with what you have. I think 3 bedrooms for the lot of you sounds quite workable. Particularly if you have a plan to move in some years.

We have 4 kids and a 4 bedroom. There are 2 boys to each room. An we have the extra one for guests.
The boys have a fantastic relationship and I believe it brings them closer, although at times they go mad with each other. But I sometimes listen to their wee chats at night. It's so lovely. They don't "need" a room each. That is a luxury.

I grew up 5 kids in a three bed, but big bedrooms. I have 3 and we moved from our 3 bed last year. It’s fine up to a point, but depending on personalities it can be nice to have extra space. You won’t know yet how your kids cope- SEN etc can make it hard. But you can extend when they’re older if you want, don’t do it with toddlers around.

I live in a 3 bed and there’s 6 of us. 3 older ones had triple bunks for a while and the baby was in his own room but baby is back in with us temporarily and the older boy is in his room with the 2 girls sharing. We have an outhouse off of our kitchen that we are converting into a room for the older boy slowly but surely because, well, money!!!! The two girls share. Works for us.

I would however like to extend the house in the future, we have lots of potentially for that luckily so each kid had own room but can’t imagine where I’ll ever get the money from to do that!!

I always think 500sqf per person is a good minimum. It means that there should be enough room for everyone’s stuff, and enough space for people to go off and have some alone time in a different room/in a quiet corner.

3 kids 3 bedrooms here. It's always been totally fine. My eldest is 18 on Monday, so from experience, sharing rooms makes people more intimate, loving, and close. It really does. And less selfish.

So true about the budding artist comment above. DC1 is The Artist. He will study architecture at uni, which is brilliant, but basically, we've been living in his art studio for years.

Until last July we had 7 adults in a 3 bed house.. now down to 6 and as of next weekend it will be 5. We did turn the little study room into a tiny 4th bedroom but we have all managed just fine! (I have 4 kids, one moved out and then two of their partners moved in!!)

My girls shared until they went to university and the boys shared until we changed the study..and it's not a big house at all. I grew up as an only child in a bigger house and found it boring.. our house is busy but everyone is chilled about it.

My eldest said it took her ages to be comfortable sleeping alone at University because she was used to sharing a room!

Also, you can get really nice tent beds for kids so they can have their own space but still share a room

We had 3 in a 2 bed for 5 years. Thankfully both bedrooms were the same size so we fit a triple bunk until we could extend. They have their own rooms now.

Downstairs space was the worst though, much better with an extra long room and loo!

If you plan on staying put for the foreseeable then yes 3 bed would be too small as they won’t want to share when they’re older but if it won’t be your forever home then 3 is fine

It’s fine. It’s nice if they can have their own space later on (and more peaceful for you because fewer teenage arguments!) but right now, not a problem.

Bit different with larger age gaps or blended families.

We have 3 children in a 3 bed house.
We are starting an extension in April!
It was ok when they were smaller but I have a teenager (dc 13,11 and 9) and she’s desperate for more space. We are making the box room larger and adding a 4th bedroom, we are also adding a 3rd reception and downstairs shower room.
In the future we could potentially have 5 adults in the house and we all definitely need more space.

Yeah it's fine when they're little. But I do think if you love the house you're in so much, you'll need to bite the bullet and get the extension done.

My DD2 is expecting her second DC . She has a 4 bed house , but is planning to put both DC together after nursery stage as she has such good memories of the time she shared . By 8 she had own room . 4DC 5 bedrooms . We extended when DC4 was a baby .... not to be recommended ! In all honesty it depends on the temperament of your DC . Your plan sounds fine . Enjoy this time .

My last house was a tiny 3 bed (76m2) and before we lived there had 6 adults (parents and 4 full grown kids) still living there. They had grown up in the house no issue at all. Kids do not all need their own room and with small age gaps sharing really won’t be an issue at all. I would stay put and have better finances rather than stretch yourself financially for no major life benefit

My DDs share. They are 14 and 15. We bought a small place because of the location and it's very near their school. It is super expensive here. Ideally they would have their own rooms but there are so many others advantages to living where we live.

We live in a 3 bed and have 2 children aged 4 and 2. We are planning on trying for our 3rd in the next month or so. Our plan is to move to a 4 bed in a maximum of 4 years time when we will have a considerable amount of equity in our house. If it works out that it’ll be cheaper to move sooner (house prices start to rise fast) we will move sooner, just not whilst I am on mat leave. If I didn’t think we could move so soon and afford a 4 bed I’d defiantly not have a 3rd.

I think as long as you can move to a bigger house once the oldest reaches about 8 sharing a room is fine (assuming there’s enough space in the bedroom for 2 and the rest of the house for 5 people).

6 Kids, 3 bedrooms. Everybody survived. As there was only my older sister (plus baby eventually) in one room, it was bunk beds plus a single for the boys in one room. Once she got married and moved out with her baby, the youngest brother was moved in with me into her old room, as at 11, 13 and 17, they were getting too tall for bunkbeds.

I was therefore sharing with my 23 year old brother when I was 13, but in all honesty, all he ever really did was sleep there.

Other brothers shared until 26 and 30.

The only people who had rooms of their own when I was growing up were the family opposite who only had one boy and one girl and the couple of only children.

DP shared with his sister until he was 17 and she was 15, when they remodelled the kitchen so he had somewhere separate to sleep. He liked that because it was next to the Rayburn. And the room they shared was tiny - as in 'can't stand upright in half of it'. Perils of living in a cottage on the moor, I suppose.

I suppose people who grew up in the privileged position of having their own room can't imagine sharing. But it's what most people did - and still do.

My 3 DS all shared. We lived in a 3 bed house
However, 3 Bed houses come in different sizes. My DPs 3 bed house was smaller than ours, whereas my DBs house, also a 3 bed, was larger than ours; all 1930s houses.

Also, having 3 DC of the same sex, meant we could move about periodically, so it was not always the same person in their own room.

Nowadays, I think having their own room IS important at secondary school age, so if I were you, I would be spending the next few years planning, to either move, or for that extension.
I do not think it is so importnat at primary level, but it really depends on the size of the house.

I know someone who has 3 in a 2 bed flat, and another in with 3 in a 2 bed house. Two school aged kids and a baby. Usually it's not until they're older they want their own rooms, so I'd go for it