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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to wonder if this could be more? Think I’m in love with my best friend

731 replies

captainamericassexybeard · 18/02/2020 05:38

Have name changed for this because my other friend is on here and knows my username and I think I might combust with embarrassment if she came across this and clocked it was me (the wedding details might be outing).

I briefly “dated” a guy as a young teen and then we became really good friends and stayed that way, pretty much best friends ever since - purely platonic.
He’s a very attractive guy but I’ve genuinely never ever felt anything for him other than platonic love. Mutual friends have always said they don’t know why we aren’t together and some of my newer female friends have commented that they think there could be something there, but until recently I’ve always thought it was funny and brushed it off. I would have gone as far as to say we were like brother and sister!

Recently we went to a wedding together as I needed a plus one, and I don’t know what happened but it’s like I’ve suddenly seen him in a new light. Nothing out of the ordinary happened, we had a great night as always when we are out but it’s like something has clicked in my brain and now I can’t stop thinking about him.

We are going to another wedding together on Friday, I’m returning the plus one favour and I’m really ridiculously nervous! I feel like I’m going to act weirdly or something or get drunk and say something and we’ve been friends for nearly 17 years now so I don’t want to ruin it! I’ve been avoiding him all last week because I think I’ll just go red or make it really obvious that something has changed.

I’m mortified at being such a cliche and reading this post back it sounds like the set up
For a VERY bad romcom. I’m a bit beside myself. I don’t know what to do about it, if anything at all, and how on earth I tell if he could like me more than friends (inwardly cringing).
Jesus I’m too old for this shit.

OP posts:
bravotango · 21/02/2020 18:25

Good luck OP! Rooting for you both!

AnduinsGirl · 21/02/2020 18:26

Shameless placemark. Best of luck OP!!!

curlsnotfrizz · 21/02/2020 18:31

watching and hoping for a happy end!

Kittykat93 · 21/02/2020 18:35

Come on op... I keep checking for updates :D

tessiegirl · 21/02/2020 18:37

Omg how exciting op!
I've been thinking of you all day Blush

letsjog · 21/02/2020 18:38

Just caught up with the thread and now I'm rooting for you op!

MadameMeursault · 21/02/2020 18:38

Ooh just stumbled across this thread and it’s Friday! Good luck OP

Iooselipssinkships · 21/02/2020 18:47

Read through the thread and got them excited stomach wobbles for you OP!
I think he likes you, especially if he's commented on your outfit several times. Good luck and no matter what happens style it out and enjoy yourself!

Sunshine1235 · 21/02/2020 18:50

Place marking, good luck OP!

Yabadee · 21/02/2020 18:52

Gwan yerself OP

Doubleyouexwhyandzed · 21/02/2020 18:52

So my plan is that your slow dancing, you look into his eyes and ask him who is the girl he said he wants to marry but she isn’t, and he says it’s you, it’s always been you. And boom Mumsnet kiss of the year.

Bonkersblond · 21/02/2020 18:57

Place marking - I love these threads

amusedbush · 21/02/2020 19:01

Argh I’ve just found this and I’m so invested! Good luck GrinGrin

stepbackfromthecircles · 21/02/2020 19:10

I have just come online to check for an update! 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻 for you!

jrek · 21/02/2020 19:13

Shamelessly place marking as I press update every five minutes!

sanmiguel · 21/02/2020 19:15

Hope it works out OP. 🥰

AlternativePerspective · 21/02/2020 19:21

Surely people aren’t actually thinking the OP will come back tonight? In fact if she does it will probably be bad news....

coastergirl · 21/02/2020 19:24

Been reading this from the start and I'm so invested! Definitely think the outfit comments are a great sign!

iamloading · 21/02/2020 19:28

Also shamelessly place marking and very over invested!

wineandcheeseplease · 21/02/2020 19:30

Placemarking now!

alphabunny · 21/02/2020 19:33

Good luck op!

TheBeastInMsRooneysRoom · 21/02/2020 19:35

I've been married for 15 years this summer to my 'just friend'. One night he kissed me and that was the end of being cool about everything. We had watched each other hook up with other people for years and said we didn't mind, we were just friends. We both minded.

On the flip side, I have another friend from my childhood who never did shoot his shot and obviously regretted it. Wouldn't attend our wedding etc. If he had said something, I would have had no problem saying I didn't feel the same and continuing the friendship. Nothing had to get weird. Instead, it took years for our friendship to recover as he moped about what might have been and that he was just too cautious. That was not the case, it was just one sided. Just say something. Either way, the unknown is worse and a strong friendship will survive.

SleepingIsOverrated · 21/02/2020 19:40

Ahhhhhh I've just found this and I'm so invested!! Good luck OP!!!

shiveringwiggles · 21/02/2020 19:40

Rooting for you!

Twinklelittlestar1 · 21/02/2020 19:42

Best of luck op! I've been reading through your thread and I'm hooked! Can't wait to hear how the rest of the evening goes x