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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to wonder if this could be more? Think I’m in love with my best friend

731 replies

captainamericassexybeard · 18/02/2020 05:38

Have name changed for this because my other friend is on here and knows my username and I think I might combust with embarrassment if she came across this and clocked it was me (the wedding details might be outing).

I briefly “dated” a guy as a young teen and then we became really good friends and stayed that way, pretty much best friends ever since - purely platonic.
He’s a very attractive guy but I’ve genuinely never ever felt anything for him other than platonic love. Mutual friends have always said they don’t know why we aren’t together and some of my newer female friends have commented that they think there could be something there, but until recently I’ve always thought it was funny and brushed it off. I would have gone as far as to say we were like brother and sister!

Recently we went to a wedding together as I needed a plus one, and I don’t know what happened but it’s like I’ve suddenly seen him in a new light. Nothing out of the ordinary happened, we had a great night as always when we are out but it’s like something has clicked in my brain and now I can’t stop thinking about him.

We are going to another wedding together on Friday, I’m returning the plus one favour and I’m really ridiculously nervous! I feel like I’m going to act weirdly or something or get drunk and say something and we’ve been friends for nearly 17 years now so I don’t want to ruin it! I’ve been avoiding him all last week because I think I’ll just go red or make it really obvious that something has changed.

I’m mortified at being such a cliche and reading this post back it sounds like the set up
For a VERY bad romcom. I’m a bit beside myself. I don’t know what to do about it, if anything at all, and how on earth I tell if he could like me more than friends (inwardly cringing).
Jesus I’m too old for this shit.

OP posts:
nervousfirsttimer1985 · 21/02/2020 15:27

Maybe

Writersblock2 · 21/02/2020 15:27

Omg! Teaser! Haha. Come on, OP. You can do this!

Chattycatty · 21/02/2020 16:01

!!!!!!!! Over invested to the highest degree in a similar position myself and this thread is making me smile

GinandGingerBeer · 21/02/2020 16:40

Has he complimented your fabulous outfit?
Don't get too plastered and fall in a plant pot or something Grin

EMacCoffee · 21/02/2020 16:42

Good luck for tonight OP.

I'm currently in a relationship with someone who was a close friend for nearly 7 years before hand.

He was the one who told me how he felt first because I was too scared - but I was very close to telling him as we'd been flirting for ages.

We've now been together for almost 2 years.

AlternativePerspective · 21/02/2020 16:58

Coming late to this but still want to see the update in spite of what I’m about to say.

For me it would very much depend on how important the friendship was to me. Because regardless of the outcome this friendship is going to change.

If he feels the same then exploring a relationship obviously could work, but if it doesn’t then you’ve likely lost the friendship as well.

And if he doesn’t feel the same way then you may also lose the friendship.

Often we’ve had people post on here that a close friend has told them they’re in love with them, and the advice is almost always that they need to cool the friendship now as it’s unfair on the other person who has the feelings.

If the friendship was that important to me then I wouldn’t want to jeopardise it.

As they say, it’s easy for friends to become lovers, but much harder for lovers to become friends.

buckeejit · 21/02/2020 17:29

Glad it's going well. Good luck. You'll need to do something at some stage to be true to yourself. Don't let someone else swoop in! Grin

beanaseireann · 21/02/2020 17:35

".....I think there's someone else who has their eye on him...."
Noooooooo
Do not let her get near. Smile

Smelborp · 21/02/2020 17:35

OMG just found this thread and it’s Friday! You have to do something before the other person makes a move.

notcycling · 21/02/2020 17:45

Play him this song!

Jimmers · 21/02/2020 17:47

Go for it OP! 😁❤️

Syrinx89 · 21/02/2020 17:58

Anyone else refreshing this like ever 30 mins? GrinBlush

captainamericassexybeard · 21/02/2020 17:58

He has commented on my outfit several times Grin

Cake cutting in a minute, then the evening reception is kicking off...

argh, wish me luck! I've stayed relatively (!) sober which is VERY saintly considering the ceremony started at 11am.

OP posts:
Noooblerooble · 21/02/2020 17:59

I've had a rubbish day. I need you to talk to him soon op so i can feel happy for someone Grin Rooting for you!

MimsyBorogroves · 21/02/2020 18:00

Doooo iiiit.

I married my best friend.

Downsidedown · 21/02/2020 18:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PaperDreamsHoney · 21/02/2020 18:03

Good luck!

shitwithsugaron · 21/02/2020 18:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Syrinx89 · 21/02/2020 18:04

Omg OP... He LIKES you! ❤️ The outfit complimenting is a sure sign. Just put your arms around him and go for it. (I promise you that I'm a totally sane woman in my 30s, but I'm totally swept up in this romance!!)

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 21/02/2020 18:05

Good luck OP! This is your moment!

Inver38 · 21/02/2020 18:10

Just found this, good luck OP rooting for you!

ElizabethMountbatten · 21/02/2020 18:12

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the request of the OP.

Marahute · 21/02/2020 18:19

Argh, this is too exciting!! Genuinely never been rooting for a total stranger so much before!! Grin

Redtartanshoes · 21/02/2020 18:22

Hope you have a fab night. Is it a sleep over?

Tryingtogetitright · 21/02/2020 18:22

Awwwww! Hope it all works out for you!!

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