Do I tell my friend what I think of her once and for all?

[Witchofzog]

I was friends with "Naomi" for years when we worked together. We were very close for a long time and would confide in each other about our problems too

I let her move in with me to escape an abusive relationship despite me being heavily pregnant and working 7 days a week. She proceeded to bring men back in the night and woke me up to tell me and again when she wanted dp at the time to get rid of them. She started seeing him again and lied to me about it. Eventually moving away with him and bringing his friends to my home to lie about where she was going. I forgave her.

I lent her a large sum of money when she was skint. I got it back in dribs n drabs.

She came to stay with me. Dp at the time drove 200 miles each way to pick her up and drop her off. She slept all the way back, didn't pay petrol and jumped out when she realised she was outside her local pub without a thanks.

Something really bad happenned to me years ago. I tried to confide in her and she told me she had her own stuff going on and couldn't speak to me about it.

The last time I saw her I stayed with her. I got up with her ds during the night as it was her birthday and took him out for an hour or so in the afternoon so she could get a peaceful bath. On the last night she turned on me out of the blue because she was tired. Told me I was gutless for not leaving my sometimes unhappy relationship and told me I was emotionally draining. I ended up leaving at 10pm with my suitcase. Phoned a friend who convinced me to go back until morning but she had locked me out and my friend came 150 miles to get me.

She apologised profusely the next day but I told her I needed distance from her and that was the end of it though she
remained on social media.

So yesterday I saw a post from Caroline Flack about how she confided in a friend who told her she was draining. And I was furious. For Caroline and for me. And Naomi has posted on Facebook about praising your friends and being fucking kind to each other. Yet she was so shitty to me and I have never confided in anyone since this for fear of being draining, and have had to deal with my mental health alone.. I was going to send her a link to Caroline' s post and tell her she is a hypocrite and what she has done to me with her careless words all because she was "tired" and then delete her. But deep down I know this probably isn't a good idea and I should just delete her and leave it at that.

So talk me out of this or talk me into it. I don't know what I want to hear. But I am so angry at her today even though this happenned years ago.

[TheBigFatMermaid]

She is no friend.

[inicecoldblood]

She's not worth your energy. Block and delete her.

[Jessie9323]

I would just delete her and if she ever tries to get in contact then tell her why her friendship is no longer wanted.

[LellyMcKelly]

I think it’s time you cut her off. She’s a dreadful friend and you’ve wasted enough time on her already. Don’t waste any more. You don’t need anyone like this in your life and you don’t need to waste any more time giving her brain space. Unfriend and unfollow.

[Heartburn888]

I wouldn’t bother. I’d take comfort in the knowledge that you know she’s a complete pillock. Locking you out 150 miles away from home. Disgusting. You should of given her a roasting there and then.

Hold your head high and keep your dignity 👍

[flossletsfloss]

I agree with the previous poster. Keep your dignity. You will only light a fire which you will be dragged into. You won't feel good at the end of it all. Take heart in knowing you know who she is. She sounds an idiot. Rise above it.

[CSIblonde]

She was never a real friend from the sound of her behaviour. I'm sorry, OP. She sounds dreadful. If it's any comfort I've met quite a few people who in their own heads, are nice, kind, supportive etc & tell everyone they are. In reality, those around them quietly eye roll & are of the view that they're total narcissists: & keep a friendly distance. Block her & move on.

[Witchofzog]

I tried to call her phone which went straight to voicemail. To be fair to her she was in a bad reception area. But I didn't get how she could just lock up and go to bed. I ended up in a pub in the village she didn't go to because I knew she was new in the village and I didn't want people to think bad of her . They were really kind to me and let me sit in the locked from the inside pub garden with the patio heater on until my friend arrived around 2am. She contacted me the next day asking if I was safe

[OhLook]

Just get her off your Facebook and you'll never need to think about her again.

[MaintainTheMolehill]

Delete block move on. Its the best revenge. By the sounds of it you have other great friends if one was willing to drive 150 miles through the night for you.

[Didshereally]

You feel angry now as you know she's pretending to be something she's not ('kind'). She's a user, and not a good listener. She lies
(There you've told us all. We agree. Hope you posting in here has helped your anger dissipate. )
But her own friends will find this out themselves. I bet there's others in her fb friends list seeing same & thinking 'hypocrite' to her post as they've experienced her selfishness too. She'll have been generous with her self centred behaviour.

It's lose: lose to send her anything picking her up on it. She doesn't see it and lacks self awareness, she'll just get defensive or attack and you'll have poked her ego. She'll post something aimed at you even if PA. she hasn't thought about you for years, so why waste one more second of your important energy on someone you've known for years is a knob or make yourself a target?

In this circumstance, I'd just unfriend and unfollow her. She'll just irritate you if you can see any more fake hot air from her. Think how cleansed you'll feel.

[TorkTorkBam]

Ghost her.

[RitaHayworthHair]

Vent here and move on. Don't contact and please see the red flags earlier. You stuck in there far too long.

Time to let it go. Engaging will just draw you back in.

[Looloobettyboo]

Get rid of her do it...... i done it and its been great i have been drama freesince

[Witchofzog]

I think it's wise advice to delete and move on. When she lied to me about moving away with her ex, another close friend of hers said she was going no contact and suggested I do the same. Her ex husband told my then dp that she was incredibly selfish and although he loved her, he didn't like that about her. That was the night we went out with a kitty between us for drinks and she drank the kitty dry before midnight with secret shots of god knows what's well as her normal drinks while I had only had 3 drinks of my own. Other people have referred to her as a loose cannon. I should have done this year's ago. I mistook years of friendship as a good friendship when really she has done some really awful things over the years. Probably because she had times where she could be supportive and funny. She wasn't all bad

[SallySun123]

She’s toxic and nothing you say will change that. Move on and surround yourself with caring friends.

[Barryisland]

She is an alcoholic by the sounds of it.
Keep away from her.
Look after yourself.

[Icecreamdiva]

It’s a strange anomaly that it’s normally the most unkind, judgy, bitchy people who post the ‘be kind’ stuff on SM.

I agree with PP, I think you are better off without her in your life. I’d block her and forget her. Try and make it so she can’t contact you because I’m sure she will try to get back in touch when she wants to use you again.

[Russellbrandshair]

Girl, no. Let this go. Your “friend” is a horrible horrible person but don’t waste any more negative energy on this twat. Delete her, block her and move on with your own life. Don’t dwell on her, she’s really not worth the spike in cortisol thats happening every time you see her stupid Facebook profile. The best revenge is a successful life so cut the cord and fly free from this weighty piece of garbage.

[Daftodil]

We can all be selfish, we can all be shitty friends, we can all get too caught up in our own crap. Unless you are 100% perfect all of the time, I don't see the point of contacting someone you haven't seen in ages just to tell them you think they are a shit person. How is that any better than her telling you you're draining?

Ps. I hope you appreciate the friend that drove 150 miles at 2am to collect you. Be grateful for people like that in your life and forget about the ones that treat you badly.

[Witchofzog]

We haven't seen each other in years. I don't know why I really kept her on social media. I guess probably because deleting her would mean the friendship was definitely over. But it was over years ago anyway. I told her a year or so before the fall out that I felt our friendship was one sided and that I felt it would be best to leave it behind but she was so sorry that I believed in her.

[ThisIsBigMoon]

Oh my goodness. Get her out of your life and do not look back. You are worth more than this.

[Greenandpleasanter]

I'd delete her too. And not engage if she tries to contact you the next time she's down on her luck. Also write a letter to her getting down all your feelings and then throw it in the bin or burn it. It's very therapeutic.

[AlunWynsKnee]

Don't message her, it's a wasted emotion. Maybe use that emotion to say thanks again to the friend who came and got you. Do something positive.

[Witchofzog]

I am definitely not perfect. Who is? And I definitely value my other friend who I am still close to today. I just wanted Naomi to know the impact what she said has had on me. I have carried the weight of what I went through alone since. I don't talk about any problems to anyone anymore. But I know it's not wise to open the can of worms and I am going to take the advice of every one on here to leave well alone