Being kept alive for the sake of the unborn baby..

[QueenofmyPrinces]

A bit random, but just after some other people’s thoughts about a discussion I had with my husband last night and some of our friends.

We had all been watching Kill Bill and were chatting about the fact that the main character had been shot whilst pregnant, and was in a coma for ‘x’ amount of time and then when she woke up she saw her bump wasn’t there - I guess she assumed the baby had died but in the second film, she learns that the baby didn’t die and had been living with the father for 6 years.

I then said that if I was pregnant, and something happened to me that resulted in me being clinically dead, I would want doctors to put me on a ventilator, to keep me ‘alive’ in order to preserve my baby‘s life and then deliver it at 40 weeks.

DH said that hypothetically he would want the same as we would both want the baby to be allowed to live even if something happened to me.

One of our friends was pretty horrified by the idea though and said she couldn’t put her finger on the reason why, but she just didn’t like the thought of it.

I asked why wouldn’t she want the doctors to keep her ventilated to keep the baby safe and ultimately be born, but she couldn’t give a specific reason and just said it didn’t seem right.

We didn’t get into any big debate about it or anything but I’m just interested in what other people think.

I would absolutely want to be “kept alive” to enable the safe delivery of my baby and allow it to have a chance at life.

AIBU to think most women would feel like that?

I am not sure if DP would choose to save me or a unborn baby in a hypothetical situation.
I know if there was a train coming and we were stuck on the track I'd expect DP to choose the DC, likewise he knows I'd leave him to save the DC first.
We're fine we know they come first.

Would it have killed you to put a spoiler warning? We haven't all seen the films

It has been done.: this is horrific though, she was on a ventilator the entire pregnancy and she had to give birth vaginally as they weren't sure of the legalities of giving a comatose patient a general anaesthetic

https://archive.seattletimes.com/archive/?date=20010727&slug=comabirth27

I can't bring myself to read the links.

Oh what a beautiful way to come into the world - from a dead, bacteria ridden, rotting corpse that is only being kept 'alive' medically to facilitate a child who is immediately without one parent. Who wouldn't want to be the child in that situation?

Well the alternative is not to be born at all, so I guess it's all relative.

What is wrong with not being born? They wouldn't know.

@SingleSidedShoulderShrug, it hasn't been done, a comatosed woman is not dead.

I think those stated 'why wouldn't you?' are giving zero thought to the child's actual life. Which is very typical of 'pro-lifers'.

To say you'd opt to be oxygenated whilst dead doesn't make you sound like a heroic and loving mother. Either that or people simply cannot grasp the difference between dead and comatosed or vegative state.

The psychological effect would be traumatic. Even in this highly hypothetical situation, to say of course you would is putting your emotional need over the phyical and psychological needs of the hypothetical baby.

*vegetative

Not only that @Aridane the research paper has a table detailing these cases and the neonatal outcome. However it's doesnt differentiate in this data between the mother being brain dead, comatose or on PVS

So that one surviving infant every two years may not be born from a corpse. The mother may not be dead. Misleading data.

Would it have killed you to put a spoiler warning? We haven't all seen the films

The film is 17 years old, you've had plenty of time. PS: the Titanic sinks, Bruce Willis was dead the entire time, and Darth Vader is Lule Skywalker's dad

I think those stated 'why wouldn't you?' are giving zero thought to the child's actual life. Which is very typical of 'pro-lifers

To say you'd opt to be oxygenated whilst dead doesn't make you sound like a heroic and loving mother. Either that or people simply cannot grasp the difference between dead and comatosed or vegative state

I completely agree with this. This puts into words exactly how I feel about the situation. I find it grotesque.

I don't follow how I am misstating the article?

I am not in the least trying to claim I would support this practice, or choose it for myself. I just found it interesting that there were any babies born who seemed to be doing ok. I'm really not propagandising here.

@BelieveInPeople - I never said you couldn't? I just asked if you'd read it because you made a point it makes, as if disagreeing with it.

The author really isn't trying to argue for the ethics of the situation - she's a nurse trying to offer guidelines to other nurses who might encounter it.

I think there's a tendency on this thread to equate discussing the subject with expressing a moral position. IMO that shuts down debate.

If I wanted my baby to be saved and doctors saved my life at the detriment of my child's I'd be really fucking angry with them

You can be as angry as you like but doctors have to prioritise their patient which would be you. The pregnancy is secondary to that.

As long as they are happy to be called cunts for it fine

What a lovely attitude that would be to show towards the people who would have saved your life.

I would want the is it prioritise me, I have four other children to think of. As absolutely callous as it sounds, and I have lost pregnancies including one at a relatively late stage, I can always have another baby but I can't give my children another mother (in reality I would not be having a baby anyway as another pregnancy would very likely kill me so in the highly unlikely even I did become pregnant I would prioritise myself anyway by ending the pregnancy as soon as I could).

Thinking about this overnight, I also feel uncomfortable about my hypothetical baby being born after trauma and without any chance of comfort from me. There's so much evidence about the importance of the mother-baby bond, forcing a pregnancy to term in these circumstances just feels horrific.

I would want the is it prioritise me

Should say "I would want them to prioritise me"

What a lovely attitude that would be to show towards the people who would have saved your life.

And likely killed my unborn

In the process of saving your life which - legally, ethically, and professionally - is their priority.

"Darth Vader is Lule Skywalker's dad", wait, what?!

The key word there is "unborn".

I am not sure about the current position in UK law but the "unborn" here in Australia is not legally a person. The woman is a person and decisions have to be made in her best interests.

And thank fuck for that.

Oh come on, that's a ridiculously dramatic attitude, @mixertaps.

Most of the time medics don't 'choose' between the mother and the foetus, because most of the time the best way to keep a foetus alive is to keep the mother alive (and no, I don't mean comatose/brain dead, I mean the normal kind of alive).

Doctors would take a decision based on their training. You can't expect them not to. They're not going to go off-piste and say 'how about we see what happens if we kill the mother just in case it happens to save the baby', are they?

If I wanted my baby to be saved and doctors saved my life at the detriment of my child's I'd be really fucking angry with them

They deliver the baby. A different team resuscitates him/her, they don’t just sling them in a corner. If the baby can’t survive without you, they wouldn’t have survived with you dead either.