Eating disorder or not?

[sometimescharlotte]

Background: I went to the Urgent Treatment Centre on Friday because of severe stomach pain and vomiting. Had bloods and an ECG done. I am 30 (today!) and have one child (2) and have always been fairly slim.

The doctor who saw me was quite adamant that I must have an eating disorder (a lot of "you're not helping yourself and I think you know what I mean by that" comments to start with, but when pressed she was more specific). Apparently, in addition to my BMI being low, my bloods and ECG all showed things which would be consistent with an ED (low white cell count and "a little block" on the ECG). But I don't think I have one! I would admit that I don't particularly want to gain weight because I am now as I've always been, but I don't consciously restrict food or anything.

I've seen the discharge summary, which says "please follow up with this patient who seems to have an ED" and I'm now worried it is going to get messy... I'm also now questioning myself, like, do I have some kind of denial thing going on? I'm getting irrationally stressed about it, and perhaps that's because I suspect there subconsciously is something. Urgh...

In fairness someone without an eating disorder would also deny having one.

You have one set of test results and one doctor's opinion. Follow up, but follow up in a curious way. Modern medicine is still a lot of guesswork so it's unwise to make assumptions.

Okay so it's impossible to say if you have an ED if we don't know you

However you are underweight, your bloods are showing signs of malnourishment and your ECG is showing signs of heart problems.

You say your thyroid has been tested recently. Your diet is okay but I put it at about 1400kcal being reasonably generous with portions. Which is obviously not enough.

You need to gain weight, if you think you don't have an eating disorder it should be fairly easy for you to do this. If you are feeling reluctant to do this despite signs of malnourishment then I would wonder whether you are in denial. To me posting a thread "do I have an eating disorder" rather than thinking "shit okay I need to gain some weight" rings alarm bells to me. It's more a thread about convincing yourself you are fine, but you aren't because you are underweight.

user yes I think most people without an eating disorder would deny it

But I think starting a thread to deny it, to me indicate there may be some truth

The OP isn't eating enough, we know that because shes underweight and her blood work is off. The question I guess is why
Yet OP has spent a thread talking about how she does eat enough.

Thanks again for the input.

I was taken by surprise by the discussion with the doctor at the UTC, I guess. I don't have any illusions about my weight not being low, but at the same time, I don't feel like I make efforts to keep it that way. (For anyone who is wondering, my height is 170 and my weight is 47kg.) I do think I have a naturally narrow frame of that makes sense - no hips, no boobs...!

It's not that I'm saying that I don't care about having an abnormal ECG (especially not from the POV of "having a young child") but it's hard to know what to make of the info when you a. don't know what it is and b. have never been made aware of this before. I'm also guessing it is nothing serious because otherwise, presumably, action of a more immediate nature would have been taken...

@DishRanAwayWithTheSpoon Fair enough, perhaps I shouldn't have started the thread. I don't know if I'm in denial or weird or what. I'm just upset.

Thr pps have a point.

If someone is told there is a heart problem, they are significantly under weight, suffering from Mal nourishment, having acute stomach pains, and vomiting which can be a sign of bowel issues, the first thing they usually want to know is what the heck is wrong with me and how do I fix this.

The first thing you thought of doing was asking mumsnet if you should dismiss the idea of having an Ed, point out you don't wish to gain weight, and go to lengths to say how much you do eat. Your concern is it's going to get "messy".

It's not a normal reaction and could be indicative the doctors suspicions were right. You don't want people to know and have been masking it for a long time by eating normally in front of others.

Maybe that's why you think it's going to get "messy" because you don't wish to address this.

You need to address what's wrong, be it a significant underlying health issue, or an eating disorder that's gone on so long it's now damaging your body, that's what you need to focus on, for your sake, and for everyone who loves you sake.

It is hard to tell. Your BMI is very low. You may not have an eating disorder though it sounds like you are lacking nutrients. Your body will suffer in the future.
I don't have a big appetite though I eat a very balanced diet for long term body health. Build muscle you'll stay slim
I was anorexic in the past, it sounds like you have some control issues.
Anorexia is about control not being slim, controlling being slim, mine is 19.5 people often comment. I will always have anorexic tendencies, to ask below.
Do you feel in control of your life or is your body your main grip of control.
Does it give you a glow to be different i.e thin do you automatically think they're jealous if people comment? Would some added lb's repulse you? If you answer yes then you may be on a sloppy slope.

Op you are not wrong for starting the thread at all. I think people get frustrated because they think the solution is so easy. And in a way it is easy. The hard part is realising you need to make a lifestyle change and stick too it. As i say i am 2 months into mine and its hard work constantly having to remind myself and force myself to eat food to maintain the weight but im slowly starting to realise what people meant.

I'm not saying you shouldn't have started the thread, more that it's probably not what someone with a completely healthy relationship to food/weight in that situation would have done.

I think regardless its a good idea to make an appointment with your GP. You do need to gain some weight and get this under contr.

The thing is, it's not the first thing I did. The first thing I did was think, shit, I need to change something. But then my second thought was, what?

Last year, when I lost weight, I had to think about eating enough, eating more, eating calorific things, all the time. And I hated it. It really started to get to me. I'd rather just eat what and when I feel like.

Also, I don't "not eat" when I'm by myself. I don't know where I gave that impression, but it isn't the case.

Other people always have had experiences you haven't, and that's why I started the thread. It can be, that there in an explanation which for somebody else is obvious, but for me is not.

But now everybody thinks I am being defensive. And I do not mean to be. I'm just tired. And I wish that I had never posted anything at all.

I think it's a good job you did post! Perhaps you will now realise that - eating disorder or not - you really do need to deal with your malnourishment.

Ok op, and I mean this gently, that's not the question you asked "what should I change" the question you asked was "can I dismiss the idea I have an eating disorder"

Last year you went down to 6 and a half stone, at five foot six, and you hated having to eating more to gain weight., it took you a long time to regain it.

It's your health, your body, you can do to it as you please. You have full autonomous right over your body. No one can force you to eat more, to be healthy.

I know you don't like the answers you're getting, or what the doctor said,. But this doesn't mean it is wrong.

💐

Lots of people have to think about what they eat and it’s nutritional value and lots of people hate doing that. It isn’t easy, any more than dieting to lose weight is easy. I think we would all prefer to eat what we wanted when we wanted. It must feel daunting and depressing and tiring but it also sounds so important that you get some much more clear medical advice and help.

Don't be sorry about posting. Honestly. Perhaps you are getting different responses in AIBU than you would on a health thread. Your question was "am I being unreasonable in being offended?" You were not asking for a load of random strangers to diagnose you with an ED.

I have a binge eating disorder - but before I had my son (30) I weighed 48Kg at 173cm. With no restricting or purging. I was very active - horse riding & skiing - but just thin. But back then, nobody mentioned my weight.

If it were me, I would speak to my GP and tell them of your concerns. It might be that they want to make referrals and in that setting, it would be good to find out what you might change in your diet to help and whether that would then reverse the heart block. I would think that doctors would be more interested in you asking how to do that, rather than diagnose ED. If that makes sense.

If you want, ask Admin to move your thread, if you feel that AIBU is not helpful to your original question.

I wouldn’t like comment as no one can tell by an Internet post and I feel there is a risk things people say here could reinforce very long standing unhealthy behaviour.

With regards to ‘do think I have a naturally narrow frame of that makes sense - no hips, no boobs...! ’ if your BMI has always been 16 ie. under weight then you would not know if you would have boobs at a normal weight. A lot of people would not have them at that BMI.

That's a good point @PostNotIHaste.

@sometimescharlotte do you have regular periods? That's also an important marker.

If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck and swims like a duck, it's probably a duck.
You doctor could see it, you can't, that's normal. But it doesn't mean you are right.
Get some help, OP, everything you say sounds very typical of someone with an ED. I hate to say that, because many people with EDs would be very happy to hear people think they are so thin that they have an ED.

@BIWI yes, always. Except when my weight was crazy low last year (I think at the lowest it was about 40.3). They came back after about 3 months, IIRC.

I think it’s hard to take this kind of thing in because thinness for a woman in particular is very prized in our society and it’s the holy grail for a lot of women to ‘naturally’ have a dainty appetite and the ability to just forget about food along with a fast metabolism and small frame. I think we do absorb the message that this is what we should be like and the fact that a lot of us aren’t is a personal failing. So to suddenly be told that this is causing you harm must be difficult.

I have a friend who was in a similar situation an was very affronted by it and upset at what she saw as the prospect of having to scoff a load of Mars Bars to gain weight (which wasn’t what she was told or advice that anyone gave to gain weight in a healthy way!) - I think that being delicate and small and genuinely uninterested in food can be a source of some pride and it isn’t surprising given that we are bombarded with pressure to be that way.

However, if someone posts that they are naturally big boned with a slow metabolism and want to continue to eat what they want when they want but had been told it was harming their health by a doctor, every third reply on AIBU would be ‘eat less, move more, end of’. It’s so clear cut from the other end of the spectrum (though that advice is equally unhelpful!)

I think that some of the posters who are claiming that you're saying everything that someone with an ED would say have a fairly stereotypical view of EDs which are not necessarily accurate (like a pp, I also have what I would describe - to steal their words - as controlled chronic anorexia).

OP, I wonder if a properly registered dietician or nutritionist would help. There's clearly something going on and, whatever the cause is, it does seem like your low body weight is impacting on the way that your body is functioning.

My advice OP is go to the GP. Tell them you are genuinely unsure if you are suffering from an eating disorder, you won't be the first, these things creep up on you without being aware of the illness. It use to piss me if people said I was very thin, I dismissed the doctor too and tore up my referral to psychologist services, I was just under 5 stone then. I was blind to it.
Looking back I looked like a lolly pop but I couldn't see it. Go for a chat be more mindful of foods you are eating. Protein etc. Best of luck.

Last year you were 88 lbs and not menstruating. That is actually really scary. You can easily have caused heart damage with chronic low weight. See your GP.

Whether you have an ED or not....

You have a too low BMI
You have medical signs of malnutrition.

Therefore you need to gain some weight.

If you can’t/choose to ignore the warning signs then yes you probably do have an ED.

I spoke to the GP and got a telephone appt.

That's good to hear. Hope you get something sorted out