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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Eating disorder or not?

139 replies

sometimescharlotte · 17/02/2020 00:35

Background: I went to the Urgent Treatment Centre on Friday because of severe stomach pain and vomiting. Had bloods and an ECG done. I am 30 (today!) and have one child (2) and have always been fairly slim.

The doctor who saw me was quite adamant that I must have an eating disorder (a lot of "you're not helping yourself and I think you know what I mean by that" comments to start with, but when pressed she was more specific). Apparently, in addition to my BMI being low, my bloods and ECG all showed things which would be consistent with an ED (low white cell count and "a little block" on the ECG). But I don't think I have one! I would admit that I don't particularly want to gain weight because I am now as I've always been, but I don't consciously restrict food or anything.

I've seen the discharge summary, which says "please follow up with this patient who seems to have an ED" and I'm now worried it is going to get messy... I'm also now questioning myself, like, do I have some kind of denial thing going on? I'm getting irrationally stressed about it, and perhaps that's because I suspect there subconsciously is something. Urgh...

OP posts:
Loopyloopy · 17/02/2020 06:16

If you are not consciously restricting, it's not anorexia nervosa. There are some people who just don't have an appetite strong enough for their body's needs. At your current BMI, you can suffer negative health consequences, like the low white cell count ( which can predispose you to infection). Your bone health can also suffer.

Original poster
sometimescharlotte · 17/02/2020 06:18

I'm more worried about the ECG thing, tbh. "Heart block" sounds alarming!

OP posts:
Loopyloopy · 17/02/2020 06:22

Without knowing exactly what ECG pattern they were seeing, it's hard to say more - but what can happen is that your body goes into "power save" mode, in which your temperature, heart rate, and blood pressure all drop.

lljkk · 17/02/2020 06:23

The blood tests say you are chronically malnourished. You need to explore why.

LiveintheNow · 17/02/2020 06:25

Have you been tested for coeliac disease?

Loopyloopy · 17/02/2020 06:26

Don't underestimate the importance of bone health!

Original poster
sometimescharlotte · 17/02/2020 06:39

About the ECG thing, it says "2nd degree AV block" on the notes. Don't know what this means!

Have tested negative for coeliac in the past!

OP posts:
Lostchocs · 17/02/2020 06:46

The facts are that your BMI is worryingly low (I don’t set much store by BMI in general but 16 is very low so you are, without a doubt, very underweight) and tests have shown that you have health problems that are likely to be connected with your low weight and poor nutrition.

I am concerned that you don’t want to put on any weight when you are as thin and underweight as you are. I would suspect that there is a psychological reason for that. Perhaps you are very attached to always being the skinny one or see it as part of your identity?

Your food intake sounds a little low but ok, but you may be vastly underestimating your portion sizes. My oldest friend who is similar to you swears that she eats a normal diet but she actually eats tiny amounts of foods most of the time. This became her normal as a child when she developed eating issues so she doesn’t see how restrictive she is. She also comments regularly along the lines of “oh well, I’m really skinny - it’s just how I am” and sees it as a strong part of her identity. She forgets that I can remember a period in her early 20s when she was very relaxed and happy and started eating normally and went up to a very healthy looking size 10.

I would see your GP and explore this. It could be that you have a deep seated eating disorder that you’ve grown up with and so therefore don’t identify. It could be that you don’t eat as normally as you think you do. Or it could be that there is something else physical going on to cause your very low body weighty and symptoms relating to this. You need to get it checked ot either way.

Stephminx · 17/02/2020 07:03

I agree with most of the PPs in that you are clearly underweight and there is a problem with your health.

You need to investigate why you are unwell - ie do you have an underlying condition that contributes to and/or causes your low weight or is your low weight causing these results iyswim ?

If it’s the latter and gaining weight will improve your health but you won’t / can’t do that, that would point to an ED for me.

I’d be cautious of what your DH says about your eating too. He is clearly attracted to someone very underweight (you say youve always been like this) so he’s not likely to notice or encourage you to eat more. Friends/acquaintances are also unlikely to comment or make jokes about it if they seriously suspect an ED.

Id take a look at my calorie requirements and my actual portion sizes (weigh stuff to check if needs be). I can’t believe you’d be so underweight based on what you’re eating without either an underlying medical issue or seriously restricted portions.

Either way, there is something going on - either a medical issue or an ED so I’d be looking to get to the bottom of it for my health.

MrsP2015 · 17/02/2020 07:17

A friend doesn't know she has some kind of ED biT she does.
She's a size 6 and always has been. People have always told her she's so thin and she likes this.
She's always hungry/ starving (makes no secret)
Binge eats- will have a 3 course meal with extra helpings then the next day will drink slim fast- I asked why she said slim fast contains vits etc and she likes them.

She was hospitalised last year through a severe infection and having low weight didn't help her healing.

Original poster
sometimescharlotte · 17/02/2020 08:17

I'm not meaning to sound defensive, but aren't there some people who are naturally thin? Can it not just be fast metabolism?

OP posts:
HostessTrolley · 17/02/2020 08:20

Not vomiting is no indication, there are different types of eating disorders. My daughter (in recovery now) has a phobia of vomiting, but was just really really ‘good’ at restricting. She also couldn’t ‘see’ that she was ill,I remember her at bmi 13 was telling me there wasn’t a problem and I was just trying to control her and it was all bullshit.

I suspect from what you’re saying that you probably don’t have full blown anorexia but could probably do to increase your weight a bit, especially if you’re running around after kids. Nuts are great for veggies or even just add a daily latte in. Hopefully someone will follow you up for an assessment but mental health services are very strained so this might be a while away. The weight gain would help your heart and bone health and probably increase your energy levels

peachgreen · 17/02/2020 08:26

I'm not meaning to sound defensive, but aren't there some people who are naturally thin? Can it not just be fast metabolism?

There definitely are, but unfortunately, just like people who are naturally fatter, you have to take steps to protect your health. Hope you manage to find a way that works for you OP.

Original poster
sometimescharlotte · 17/02/2020 08:37

@HostessTrolley I'm glad your daughter is in recovery now.

If I am "restricting" I swear that it must be massively subconscious and deep-rooted. I'm not intentionally doing it, for sure.

OP posts:
MapMyMum · 17/02/2020 08:50

Do you eat all of your meals or do you always leave a good amount on the plate? My stepmum used to do this as a way of controlling her weight, she could always say she ate the same as the rest of us but she would eat about 1/3, then sit back and "let it settle" then she would make it look like she would start eating again but actually she would push the food around her plate.
Im not saying that is necessarily you but some people will go to great lengths to convince themselves and others that there is nothing wrong. There are of course naturally slim people but I have to admit that those I know that are naturally slim do a mix of seriously controlling their good intake while keeping their activity high, even in terms of walking everywhere and instead of resting they are constantly getting up and doing jobs

MapMyMum · 17/02/2020 08:52

Sorry crossed posts there OP

feelingverylazytoday · 17/02/2020 09:07

The food you listed sounds reasonable, but obviously you're not eating enough of it. You need to work out how many calories you need each day and go from there. It's called the TDEE. You will need to eat over your TDEE to gain weight.
If you're unable to do that by yourself then that suggests you need further help.

Original poster
sometimescharlotte · 17/02/2020 09:12

I tried that My Fitness Pal thing once and, IIRC, it recommended about 1,800 calories for gaining weight slowly. I followed 1,800 (had never ever measured things before) and ended up LOSING weight. It was good for seeing the carbs/fat/protein balance though.

OP posts:
Curiosity101 · 17/02/2020 09:56

Happy Birthday Grin Hope you're feeling better now.

I'd agree with a number of PP - even if you don't have an eating disorder what you do have are medically worrying signs of malnutrition (not just calories by the sounds of it, but also nutrients). Whether that is by concious/subconcious restriction, something medical or something else (or a mixture of the above), it makes sense to follow the doctors advice and get it checked out.

Just make sure that the doctors rule out any obvious medical conditions as well. I'd also potentially ask if there are any tests they might want to do on your bones too.

As a minimum I would expect that your diet will probably need to change quite a bit to avoid you getting unwell.

SimonJT · 17/02/2020 10:02

BMI is largely useless, it has be down as obese when I range from 11-14% body fat.

Haworthia · 17/02/2020 10:21

It isn’t largely useless, it’s a pretty useful diagnostic tool with a few exceptions.

fishonabicycle · 17/02/2020 10:41

Simon - you are being wilfully obtuse. BMI works for MOST people. It doesn't work for very muscular people (people who weight train a lot), but they would know they aren't carrying a lot of fat.

Valkadin · 17/02/2020 11:05

How much swimming are you dong a week op? there is a huge difference between 50 lengths every day and a couple of times a week doing 20 lengths.

I have an ED but mine is linked to OCD. I have never made myself vomit. I am also someone who has been prone to being underweight but your bmi is very low.

PitterPatterOfBigFeet · 17/02/2020 11:08

I'd be concerned that you say your BMI is low, you have physical signs of not eating properly but yet also don't want to gain weight. You don't need to suddenly eat junk food and put on 6 kg in a short period of time but I think a healthy attitude to having a low BMI and issues with an ECG would be to increase your food intake gradually.

Verite1 · 17/02/2020 11:21

Eating 1800 calories and losing weight does suggest the possibility of an underlying medical condition, such as an over active thyroid for example. However, regardless of the cause, you are objectively underweight and it is now causing health issues so you really should go to the doctor and get it checked out. If no ED, it may simply be a case of a bit of nutritional advice or supplements etc.