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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Eating disorder or not?

139 replies

sometimescharlotte · 17/02/2020 00:35

Background: I went to the Urgent Treatment Centre on Friday because of severe stomach pain and vomiting. Had bloods and an ECG done. I am 30 (today!) and have one child (2) and have always been fairly slim.

The doctor who saw me was quite adamant that I must have an eating disorder (a lot of "you're not helping yourself and I think you know what I mean by that" comments to start with, but when pressed she was more specific). Apparently, in addition to my BMI being low, my bloods and ECG all showed things which would be consistent with an ED (low white cell count and "a little block" on the ECG). But I don't think I have one! I would admit that I don't particularly want to gain weight because I am now as I've always been, but I don't consciously restrict food or anything.

I've seen the discharge summary, which says "please follow up with this patient who seems to have an ED" and I'm now worried it is going to get messy... I'm also now questioning myself, like, do I have some kind of denial thing going on? I'm getting irrationally stressed about it, and perhaps that's because I suspect there subconsciously is something. Urgh...

OP posts:
Verite1 · 17/02/2020 11:23

But by the way - not eating cakes or doughnuts is not a sign of an ED, as appeared to be suggested up thread. I don’t eat cakes or doughnuts as I don’t have a sweet tooth (except for a bit of chocolate). I certainly don’t have an ED.

IceCreamFace · 17/02/2020 11:29

@Verite1 Agreed that not having a sweet tooth isn't concerning but I think obsessively avoiding or being scared of sweet foods is worrying.I don't have a sweet tooth but will eat a bit of someone's birthday cake or a desert someone has specially prepared etc.

gottastopeatingchocolate · 17/02/2020 11:43

Hmm, OP. I'm not quite sure what to make of your posts...

It is good that your GP is being asked to follow up. If you were absolutely sure that you do not have an ED, I would be asking for the GP to rule out medical issues that might be affecting you (over active thyroid, Coeliac etc). It does sound like your body is not getting enough nutrients, and if you are eating enough, there might be something wrong with absorption/uptake.

But you seem unsure in yourself, and that might take some soul seraching... are you being honest to yourself? Don't look to OH, family or friends for the answers - only you will truly know.

Whichever situation you are in, it is great that you can get some follow up and get your body up to full strength.

I hope the stomach pains have gone now.

Original poster
sometimescharlotte · 17/02/2020 12:04

Hmm, I wouldn't say that I have a fear of cake or biscuits or donuts, I just don't really like them. I do like deserts and chocolate and ice cream :)

I think the reason I am unsure, is that last year I lost a lot of weight (like ca. 5 kilos) and although it was unintentional, I do think it was because I had got back off mat leave and was running around like crazy and forgetting to eat, etc. I did have investigations (including thyroid which at that point was normal) and eventually I put the weight back on, slowly. But I feel maybe, like, sensitive or self conscious about comments relating to weight? I don't really think I have an eating issue. But then I start to second guess and doubt myself!

OP posts:
Curiosity101 · 17/02/2020 12:10

I don't really think I have an eating issue

You may not have an eating issue - but medically speaking the doctors are saying you do have a health issue cause by malnutrition / being underweight. You don't need a label to need to discuss this with them and improve / alter your diet for the good of your health.

MashedSpud · 17/02/2020 12:12

I don’t think you have an ED if you’re being truthful in your replies. Your bmi is very low though and you could try and raise it to match your ideal bmi.

When my dc were little I was rarely sitting down and always looked skinny (I’m tall) so if you’re running around all day you’re burning calories so try to eat more where you can.

happypotamus · 17/02/2020 12:35

You don't sound from your replies like you have an ED, but most people who do have an ED wouldn't reply honestly to the questions you are being asked about it. You are clearly underweight in a way that is affecting your health though so it is good that your GP is being alerted to that. If you genuinely don't have an ED though, you have to convince your GP of that so you can work out what to do next for your health. My dentist was convinced I had bulimia because my teeth are shit (probably genetic but my dentist has never seen my parents to know that), and insisted I went to my GP about that. I could not convince my dentist that I am not bulimic (I am absolutely not, I tried making myself sick when I was a messed up teenager and couldn't bring myself too, I hate being sick and border on anxiety about sickness bugs), but fortunately my GP accepted that I am not.

opticaldelusion · 17/02/2020 12:43

I would admit that I don't particularly want to gain weight

You're underweight and your body is showing signs of malnutrition. You're clearly not eating enough. There's an easy solution to that... eat more. If you're reluctant to do that, then yes, you have an eating disorder.

opticaldelusion · 17/02/2020 12:45

forgetting to eat

... is the byline of people with eating disorders. It's really, really difficult to 'forget to eat'. Bodies don't like being deprived of fuel and happily tell you they're hungry.

I think you need to consider that you're in denial.

Josette77 · 17/02/2020 13:07

You lost 5 kilos forgetting to eat. That is very concerning given how underweight you are to begin with. I am naturally thin. Actually a lot of people I was in treatment with were interestingly naturally thin. But a BMI that low sounds beyond naturally thin. I was hospitalized at that BMI. I know people are also saying your diet looks good but personally I would lose weight if I ate that little. I need a lot more food to keep me going. Especially since you are exercising on top of that. I personally think you are in denial.

Haworthia · 17/02/2020 13:08

I agree @opticaldelusion

MrsP2015 · 17/02/2020 14:00

Opticaldelusion that's a good point.

My friend 'never has time'

LagunaBubbles · 17/02/2020 14:07

would admit that I don't particularly want to gain weight

Why not if you're are so very underweight?

Original poster
sometimescharlotte · 17/02/2020 14:12

@LagunaBubbles I don't know! Perhaps in the same way that I don't particularly want to colour my hair or get shorter - it is kind of just what I am used to.

If I'm in denial then I must really be in denial... and then what? I don't even know how to approach this!

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 17/02/2020 14:15

If you're suffering from malnutrition and you're significantly under weight, then clearly more tests are required if you are eating what you say you're eating.

Is your husband also Mal nourished and significantly under weight if you both eat the same?

LagunaBubbles · 17/02/2020 14:25

don't know! Perhaps in the same way that I don't particularly want to colour my hair or get shorter - it is kind of just what I am used to

Fair enough but colouring or not colouring your hair can't kill you, and eating disorders can. I have no idea what has showed up in your tests but it sounds like something significantly enough to show you are malnourished, and this can and does affect your heart. I would listen.

Original poster
sometimescharlotte · 17/02/2020 14:26

No, he's normal weight - neither fat nor thin.

We don't eat the same at work, obviously, and often not for breakfast. But for dinner, weekend lunch, we eat the same and same sized portions too, I'd say.

OP posts:
Original poster
sometimescharlotte · 17/02/2020 14:28

The things that showed up in the tests were low neutrophils on the FBC (1.2) and the second degree AV heart block, whatever that is.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 17/02/2020 14:31

Op, your doctor can explain it, but I think a 2nd degree av block is a blockage to do with the heart. Anorexia can cause issues with the heart.

It would seem the doctor who saw you thinks your anorexic. If you're genuinely eating what you say you're eating, then something very significant is going on. However there is some tell tale signs in uour words, when with others you eat what they eat, you "forget" to eat when alone, you don't want to gain weight, plus it seems that your body is now suffering impacts of Mal nourishment that also may be damaging your heart.

I think you need to see a gp quickly. If you're eating what you say you are, and suffering Mal nutrition and your heart potentially being damaged, and are significantly under weight, something else is going on. If you're not eating what you say you are, then potentially you have anorexia, have done for a long time, and it is now taking its toll on uour body and health.

manicinsomniac · 17/02/2020 14:36

My BMI is slightly higher than yours (generally fluctuates between 16 and 17) and I have (controlled, chronic not acute) anorexia.

But I don't think you have an eating disorder. An eating disorder is a mental illness with physical symptoms/repurcussions. I don't think you can be said to have one without having a disordered perception of food/weight/body image and without engaging in disordered behaviours around food.

That's not to say that you don't have a problem though - being underweight is a health problem in its own right. It doesn't sound to me like your weight is caused by an eating disorder but it's still a concern that you should listen to doctors about and get help for.

Squashpocket · 17/02/2020 14:46

To those doubting that you can forget to eat, you absolutely can. I don't have an eating disorder, but I don't have much of an appetite, so unless I look at the clock I could easily forget to eat.

It's also really, really hard to overeat and gain weight when you have poor appetite. Food just isn't that appealing and once my stomach is full, I feel nauseous at the thought of eating anymore. If I overeat at one meal, I naturally undereat for the next couple of meals to compensate, it's not conscious, it just happens.

The easiest way I've found to keep the pounds on is to have a glass of wine with dinner, which improves my appetite. Nothing else has really worked for me.

LaserShark · 17/02/2020 14:48

The thing is, if I went to the doctor and was told that I was overweight and consequently had heart problems, I would take action to lose weight - even if I was happy with the way I looked and felt it was natural to me. Losing weight might involve eating in a way I don’t initially enjoy or doesn’t feel good to me but I would do it because I wouldn’t want to become ill, particularly when I have a young child. I would see that I owed it to my child to be healthy - and that I owe it to myself as well. I might not accept that my eating was disordered, but I would accept that a doctor had told me it was damaging.

So, I think for you to be told that your low weight is endangering your heart and your health and for you to still feel that you don’t want to gain weight is certainly a worrying mindset. And it sounds like it’s very important that you do see your GP and listen to them with an open mind and be prepared to make changes. And if you can’t bring yourself to make those changes, perhaps you do have an eating disorder and need help and treatment to get better.

Have you told your husband about your heart?

IHaveBrilloHair · 17/02/2020 14:48

Something odd happenned to me in hospital along similar lines a couple of years back.
I had five admissions that year because of brittle asthma, but I'm also underweight/on the very border of healthy weight.
Anyway, on the second admission I found out, quite by accident that they were monitoring what I was eating, but only the hospital food.
I was absolutely furious, mainly because I hadn't been told and their monitoring system meant nothing, I had a drawer full of snacks which I ate, I could have been flushing every meal down the loo, as no one checked, but mainly as no one asked me or talked to me at any time about my weight/relationship with food, which btw is fine.
It was completely bonkers.

conduitoffortune · 17/02/2020 14:48

Your typical diet sounds fine to me, and you say that you have always naturally been slim. I thought initially that you are only slightly below the normal range for BMI in the same way that lots of people are in the overweight range, however entering my own details into the scale (21) then entering hypothetically progressively lower and lower weights, I know I would look abnormally underweight to have the same BMI outcome as you. As you are eating enough and don't restrict yourself I would be worried about an underlying health condition

GeePipe · 17/02/2020 14:49

In fairness op you sound like the old me until 2 months ago. Ive always been naturally very skinny. Bmi about 16 to 17. Always cold. Never saw myself as skinny at all and have never ever wanted to gain weight. Never believed anyone who said i was jnderweight including doctors imcluding my ecg results being erratic and blood pressure. No sign of thyroid problems. Turns out i had a very tiny appetite and had no interest in food at all. If i had a choice of going for a takeaway or meal over anything else i would have chosen anything else. Now though after recent events i realised i was grossly underweight and have been overeating my portions and like you adding cheese and butter to everything to build up calories. Might be worth talking to your doctor about this and engagkng in what they tell you and trying to gain weight even though at first it feels like your stomachs not big enough to hold yhe food.

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