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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel so anxious about being unfollowed?

54 replies

woodn · 16/02/2020 23:06

Last night I got the last train home from London with my boyfriend. We had gone a friends birthday, I hadn't eaten much and was very drunk.
Outside a girl tapped me who was smoking before going on the train and was with her boyfriend.

We ended up sitting together on the train. I know the girl from school, we were never close but amicable and spoke. I'd say hi if I ever saw her. We left school 8 years ago.

She seemed uninterested in the convo but her bf was talking and was nice. I was drunk so don't remember too much. Anyway, she said she needed the toilet and her bf went with her. They never came back.

I thought there'd be a logical reason. But I've just seen she's unfollowed me on Instagram and made me unfollow her.

I feel so incredibly anxious!

OP posts:
LadyWithLapdog · 16/02/2020 23:11

It sounds like you weren't all that close these past 8 years. Try not to worry about it, delete and move on.

Thehogfatherstolemycurry · 16/02/2020 23:16

You maybe irritated her because you were drunk and she realised she doesn't have much in common/isn't close/doesn't like you much so unfollowed you. I do it all the time on Facebook, I accept friend requests but have no great urge to see the minutiae of people's lives so don't follow them. It's not personal.

Whoops75 · 16/02/2020 23:17

Maybe she had forgotten she followed you and realized after meeting up ye had nothing in common.

I did the same after a school reunion, what’s the point of staying connected to old acquaintances?

Move on OP
It’s nothing personal

AtrociousCircumstance · 16/02/2020 23:19

Sounds like you may have accidentally crossed a boundary with her boyfriend. She wasn’t talking much but you were drunkenly engaging with her bf. it’s probably that she thought you were being flirtatious/over-friendly/inappropriate.

You were drunk, you weren’t close - don’t worry about it. She’s not your problem.

BumbleBeee69 · 16/02/2020 23:24

She's a knob.... don't give it a second thought

Original poster
woodn · 16/02/2020 23:44

My other half was there next to me and engaging a lot.
She reacted funny to something I said and got defensive (about going to uni) but I remember being like oh I know, because I didn't mean anything.
She had also been out and drunk.

She was the popular girl at school and I was only ever someone who spoke with her because we also had worked at the same job.
We spoke on Instagram messages in December as she recommended a hotel to me. She will wish me happy birthday and I'll do the same.

It's brought up some horrible feels of low self esteem and I just feel like no one likes me

OP posts:
Butterymuffin · 16/02/2020 23:46

A virtual stranger has decided they don't have enough in common with you to follow you on social media. That's all this is. It doesn't mean no one likes you. It just means this one particular person doesn't know you.

Candymay · 16/02/2020 23:47

Really try not to worry. Remember- what other people think of you is not your business.
Also the alcohol will probably be adding to your anxiety. Next time you see her you could say hello and see what she says. But don’t take it too personally. She’s not really your type either.

LovingLola · 16/02/2020 23:47

I think you need a real life hobby

AtrociousCircumstance · 16/02/2020 23:48

Bit of drip feeding there OP.

There it is, the uni thing offended her. Like you she probably has her own insecurities and anxieties.

Honestly don’t give it a second thought, what she choose to do need not affect your sense of self. I know it’s hard to detach from these things but you just have to shrug your shoulders.

glenhaggis · 16/02/2020 23:52

People unfollow for lots of reasons, I don't really do social media but every now and then I'll unfollow people I never interact with, not that there are many as I am not easy to find on SM. I'd try not to worry about it op.

BlueBolts · 16/02/2020 23:52

Maybe she got a bit jealous that you were getting on with her bf? Just ignore the unfollowing thing. It's all a bit petty and controlling really with the folllowing/ unfollowing thing. Ignore and move on. You're fine. It's only someone you vaguely knew after all.

thesunwillout · 16/02/2020 23:59

They got home and had a pissed up argument about you/what you commented on, he said oh she's alright, I thought she seemed nice...

Girl unfollows you

RomeoLikedCapuletGirls · 17/02/2020 00:10

What did you say about uni?

user1473878824 · 17/02/2020 00:13

You were all pissed, you aren’t friends with her, don’t hang out with her, she isn’t part of your life. You said something that pissed her off. She unfollowed you. I get the sort of beer fear about it but literally it adds/detracts nothing from your life. Shrug it off.

TokenGinger · 17/02/2020 00:17

It could be anything. The girl could have accused her fella of eyeing you up and she's unfollowed you as a result. Literally could be anything. Don't worry, OP.

PanicAndRun · 17/02/2020 00:22

Something or nothing is irrelevant.
She's not your sister,best friend,close coworker, godmother to your first born whatever.

She's someone you knew 8 years ago,barely talk to and hadn't seen in ages. Why does it matter? How is your life better or worse due to her being in it or not? What impact does she have in it?

1Morewineplease · 17/02/2020 00:27

There’s no need to be “so anxious” at all about being unfollowed by someone that you really don’t care about.

MintySpud · 17/02/2020 00:30

Momentous stuff.

Original poster
woodn · 17/02/2020 08:31

About the uni thing - I didn't say anything, think DP asked what she did and I said consulting, and she said "I went to uni you know" (she went later, did it part time)
I found it odd because she has a good job and is doing well, that was never at question.

OP posts:
TheVanguardSix · 17/02/2020 08:45

"I went to uni you know" (she went later, did it part time)

That you need to inform us lot that she went later and part-time kind of tells us how you view her. You'll act like you just added the part in parenthesis for no other reason than to tell us, but the reality is, you're judging her. My guess is, she picked up on your vibe and since you were very drunk, you'll have no memory or insight into this. We all have the capacity to be boastful when drunk. Maybe you were and you don't recall. Anyway, you have no choice but to let it go. It is what it is.

Frenchw1fe · 17/02/2020 09:11

Goodness I’ve been deleted on fb by several family members. I find it hilarious. Tbf I am the family scapegoat so hey ho.
My dil’s friend deleted me when she fell out with my dil.

Just enjoy your own life and don’t worry.

Witchofzog · 17/02/2020 09:25

@TheVanguardSix I disagree. I think it is relevant. The woman may well have a chip on her shoulder about not going earlier / full time. Either way op - you are never really going to know and you will drive yourself bonkers trying to figure it out. To me she sounds like she was in a bad mood in the first place as she barely engaged and then went to the toilet and never came back. In fact she was bloody rude! Maybe ask your boyfriend for some insight and then lay it to rest

Whoops75 · 17/02/2020 09:28

Sounds like ye are both insecure.

You should work on yourself OP and forget about her.

ElderAve · 17/02/2020 09:30

I was unfriended by an acquaintance, part of a large social group, after he wasn't invited to something most others in the group were. I wasn't the organiser but I was there and it seemed unfair that he'd do it to me.

The conclusion I've drawn since was that he did to to protect himself, he doesn't want to see people having fun when he wasn't included. Likewise, perhaps for the sake of her own sanity she doesn't want to see your success.

In both cases there's no real loss.

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