Not going to nursery.

[angieb89]

I have a two year old and she's never been to nursery. Me and my husband are very lucky to have the flexibility of work so we can share the are. I have my daughter Monday to Wednesday and he has her Thursday and Friday and together as a family on weekends.

I have so many people saying that she is missing out on not going to nursery. But surely if we have hat flexibility it shouldn't be an issue. I'd rather watch my daughter grow up than always be a work and miss important milestones just so we can pay for child care.

Would love for her to nursery but can justify the costs which increases because most nurseries won't allow you to have them there only one day a week!

Your DC will not miss out on not going to nursery. I sent my PFB to nursery and all she gained was germs (not good ones before anyone mentions building up immunity). My other DCs stayed at home with me until it was time for school. IMHO if your DC doesn't need to go - don't send them.

honestly, I didn't put DD into nursery until she was 3 and despite her vocabulary and speech being advanced her social skills were slow and I think it's because she lacked enough interaction with peers before 3, she was much slower to connect with the other kids when she started school.

Children learn social skills from being around people, especially people who can model good social skills. They will learn these from any loving and engaged adult or older child. They don't need to be stuck in a room with eight other toddlers 'for several hours a day to learn them.

Nurseries make a lot of effort to replicate the care the child would receive in a good quality home environment for a reason. Lots do this well and children aren't disadvantaged by being in good group childcare. Lots of children enjoy it and benefit from their parents getting a break but that a far cry from being something they need.

@PineappleCocktail - well that's the way it's worked out and that's the way it's going to have to be. At least I won't be sending her to preschool as soon as baby is born and then feels completely neglected and shoved away! I don't even know if I'll send her full time or part time yet! I personally don't see a problem with it. She'll adapt to it. She's very adaptable. And well support her throughout! Surely I'm not the only woman who's had a baby and then sent my 3 year old to preschool.

@PineappleCocktail - she has spent time away from me. She goes to her grandparents quite often and we've spent nights apart as well. Preschool is obviously a little difficult but I'm sure she'll cope. And if she doesn't well do what we can to help and support her :)

My littlest didnt go to until playgroup at 4 because I was lucky enough to stay home until he went to school. He is the most sociable kid in the whole world. I mostly enjoyed him not getting every vomiting bug ever like his brother and sister did because they had to to to nursery from 12 months when my maternity leave ended.

despite her vocabulary and speech being advanced her social skills were slow and I think it's because she lacked enough interaction with peers before 3

We had the same thing, Speech and vocab miles ahead, social skills lacking, but DD had been in Nursery from 12 months so I don’t think it was the setting that affected your child’s social skills.

2 of mine went to nursery. 1 didn't. The one that didnt was much more secure on starting school and enjoyed it. She is very confident and a great learner. I do think being with me was great for her. I unfortunately can't do this with my youngest :(

The people I know who have had their kids with them until starting a school nursery have had no problems with social skills and settled in without tears.

I do think it's an advantage to introduce nursery/school slowly. SO at 2 I'd be taking her to classes/playgroup to socialise with me there too then by 3 maybe a few mornings a week at nursery before she goes off to school but I definitely wouldn't be putting her in full time nursery at 2 unless I had to.

Our children went to a play school before they went to school. It was only one morning a week as I remember it Gets them used to leaving mum and enjoying a new environment.

At 3 when she gets the free 15 hours or even 30, that's the time to send them.

My DC went to nursery because I worked. Most people only pay nursery prices because they have to. There’s some fact based research that made the government introduce 15 hours funding a week - let’s face it they don’t pay for these things without strong evidence to support the benefits so I would always say it’s beneficial to the child to attend a preschool once the funding kicks in but not needed before then.

Surely I'm not the only woman who's had a baby and then sent my 3 year old to preschool.

No, you aren't. And just because some children have problems settling in, doesn't mean they all do by any means. DS ran in the first week and never gave me a second thought. The second week he got upset as it sank in that this is what we do now (which one of the staff warned me about). Now we have to go the other route at the weekends because if we go past the nursery he starts crying because he wants to go and play with all his friends!

I'm due to have our little girl in June and won't be starting her until at least January so I know how you feel from that point of view.

I don't think they need nursery at 2, however I did start DD2 before she was three as the preschool my DDs went to had a policy that the current pupils families could pick their sessions and what was left was offered to the new pupils who started the September after they turned 3. I learnt that after getting not the best hours with DD1.

@Poppinjay

Exactly. Developmentally around the age of 2-3 children do notice other children and benefit from interactions with their peers but they're still learning most of their social skills from caring adults who can model appropriate skills. Interactions with peers doesn't have to be away from their parents and many kids are able to socialise more freely when they feel secure due to the presence of a parent.

Surely I'm not the only woman who's had a baby and then sent my 3 year old to preschool.

Not at all. I did it and it was perfectly fine. My DC1 was 3 when DC2 was born and started preschool a little after. It was only for 2 sessions a week but that was enough. The early years are precious and pass so quickly so enjoy them as much as you can. Both DC strarted school and settled with no issues at all. And both are now very confident, successful adults.