Not going to nursery.

[angieb89]

I have a two year old and she's never been to nursery. Me and my husband are very lucky to have the flexibility of work so we can share the are. I have my daughter Monday to Wednesday and he has her Thursday and Friday and together as a family on weekends.

I have so many people saying that she is missing out on not going to nursery. But surely if we have hat flexibility it shouldn't be an issue. I'd rather watch my daughter grow up than always be a work and miss important milestones just so we can pay for child care.

Would love for her to nursery but can justify the costs which increases because most nurseries won't allow you to have them there only one day a week!

Absolutely no need for her to go to nursery (and I’m speaking as someone whose 1st child was in nursery full-time, 5 days p/w from 7 months old).

I’d recommend some form of pre-school when she’s 3, but there’s no rush - enjoy the time you have with her. I wish I could have done x

My children started nursery for the first time the term after their third birthday. I thought they needed that time to prepare for school but not before.

I think you're getting to the age where it is beneficial for her to go to some sort of childcare setting. My DS goes to nursery and his two cousins don't. You can tell the difference in that my DS will wait his turn and share toys where as his cousins push and demand from him and can't understand the sharing concept. It's not always the case, but often, that children who don't attend childcare that struggle with aspects of starting school

@Curiosity101 yes but most children will go to pre-school at 3ish when they get the free provision.

It’s fine OP. No better, no worse than sending her - both options come with their pros and cons.

3 is fine when you get the free hours. I'm assuming you don't hide from everyone in the week and lo is learning counting and colours etc just through play and chat.

Marketing by nurseries load of old nonsense much better off at home that young. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad they are justifying their own choices. Send her when the free pre school years kick in.

My DD is two and a half, seriously disabled physically but getting stronger and has global development delay.
She started nursery in October and it’s changed her so much. She’s trying to talk, trying to walk (she will not be able to without a walking frame) loves the other children, has developed good eye contact now and is more interested in adults. She loves it so much cries when I pick her up.
I’d never have thought it would be something I’d have been keen on for any children I had but I’ve certainly had my mind changed.
Each to their own...think about it when the free hours kick in. There’s no reason to think it’s a necessity.

Absolutely no need for your child to go to nursery if they don’t need to for childcare
Requirements.
Also, it’s absolutely fine to use nursery as childcare whilst you work or to use nursery, if you can afford it, to enable to survive as a SAHP.
My children when to a drop off playgroup for 5 hours a week (over two sessions) from age two which was fantastic in enabling them to have first steps away from me, but I don’t think places like that exist as much an more.

They both then attended pre school for the year before school.
If you are getting out and about on your days off and your DC has contact with other children at classes and toddlers etc then just keep doing what you are doing.

I agree you dont need Nursery at 2. I have worked lots of Nurseries. I see many children who take forever to settle at 2 and just dont seem ready. Personally I notice the age they benefit most is 3. This is the age which you mostly see children seeking social interaction and cooperative play, rather than playing alongside or onlooker. Toddler groups, play dates and childminders all offer opportunities to develop socially beforehand.

Beyond 3, nursery is generally held to be a good thing, or at least not a bad thing. There's mixed evidence as to whether it can have a negative impact from 2-3. I'd hold off until then, personally.

You can socialise little ones without them going to nursery, there are loads of groups for parent and babies.
They don't have to socialise without you.
Most adults won't have gone nursery, the majority of us turned out fine.

A lot of children dont start pre school until after the age of 3. My ds went to a nursery because I returned to work when he was 6 months old. He did his pre school education at his nursery when he turned 3. Does your child mix with others at a toddler group ?

If you dont want to choose a nursery, are there any local playgroups you could investigate?

I wouldn't dream of sending a 2yr old to nursery unless I had absolutely no other choice.

3 children. 2 had their free nursery hours at age 4 (autumn born) and age 3 (summer born) for a year.

The middle child tried nursery for a few weeks at age 3 but hated it, so I never sent her again.

All went to lots of playgroups in the week with me. All settled into reception year absolutely fine.

@angieb89

Does she goes to any clubs? Swimming? Library gets lively? Play groups?

Im sure if she is regularly attending these then she isnt missing out.

My ds (2.5) has some friends who dont do any nursery and the difference is quite stark in terms of communication between piers, independence, role play

Mine never went to nursery. We took them to playgroups instead.
They don’t need to go to nursery to prepare them for school.

It’s perfectly fine to wait until Early Years. Send them when you and they are ready and do not feel pressured to do anything earlier than you are comfortable.

My older two didnt go until they were 3, dc3 probably wont either. I really dont think its essential at all DS1 didn't even get much out of pre school and certainly imo its not needed below 3, fine if you want the time / need it for childcare but I really dont think you can pick out which children went to nursery from babyhood and which didnt after even a few weeks at school.

OP, mine didn't go to nursery. There's no compulsion. They are now 16+, but even when they were little, there was a sense that they "should" be at nursery.

However... I was at home with them until they started school, and loved being at home with them. We went to toddler groups, etc. The main thing was that we spend acres of time together, and they knew as small children that they were the centre of the universe. They know now, obviously, that this is not the case. But they thought it was when they were little, and that's no bad thing.

@angieb89 your set up sounds perfect.

They do start getting something out of nursery/preschool after they turn 3 and a good morning preschool is good preparation from them going to school.

For now it's fine, but as an ex primary Teacher I'd definitely take up the free hours on offer when she's 3. All the research shows its great for learning independence and also their communication, social & emotional intelligence skills, like sharing, getting used to routine & boundaries , learning social norms etc . It also makes starting Reception not such a huge scary thing.

DD went to pre school at 2.5, first one morning a week(9-12)then two ,then at 3 5 mornings at week. Until 3 we paid £6 an hour so £36 a week for two mornings. After that she moved to a school nursery.

It worked great for her and was beneficial, but it was something she needed that I wasn't in the best place to offer. She also moved up with some of her friends, so she had an in built friendship group through each stage.

It doesn't mean that you have to put her in some kind of setting if you don't need to and you don't want to just to satisfy random people. At 2 she's still a baby ffs. If you want to keep her home then do so.

You're giving her everything she needs and more.

I'm not aware of any compelling evidence that group childcare is better for children than being with loving engaged parents.

Children can benefit from spending the last few months before starting school in a pre-school or similar as this is a kinder environment for learning to stand in line, put your hand up, eat in a group, etc. Other than than, she's not missing out and you should definitely keep her at home with you for as long as feels right for her and you.

Enjoy

It's fine.

Nurseries are an extremely modern invention. I'm pretty sure they only became a thing on any kind of large scale in the last 30-40 years.

Besides, once they get to school, how can you tell? Nobody ever ended up failing their A-levels because they started school at 4 instead of 2.

Mine have never been to nursery either as I work part time and DP (self employed) and his family look after them at our house the days I'm at work.

However, they DO go to playgroups and activities where they mix with other children and adults and learn social boundaries and will go to pre-school when they are old enough.

The playgroup leader is also a lunchtime supervisor at the local school and says it's generally very very obvious in pre-school and again in reception which children have had previous experience of different settings. Not necessarily in a negative way but just in terms of different skills and confidence levels.

Many childminders also offer the free hours. There's no need for any child to attend nursery, though the nurseries will tell you differently, of course.