To ask for the question you always get asked, when the person saying it thinks they're the first person to say it.

[GetMeOffThisCycleOfMisery]

Light-hearted.

Examples. As a teen I worked in a shop, sometimes something doesn't scan and the customer (if paying attention) without fail would say, "Oh, that's free then?" Followed by a chuckle.

I wear very high heels a lot, I get told all the time, "How you don't break your neck in those, I'll never know!"

The latest one, my DP is a head chef, people always say, "Oooh, I bet you get loads of lovely meals cooked for you!" I bloody wish, it's a Busman's Holiday for him, he doesn't want to cook after a day in the kitchen. 😆

I'm allergic to wheat.

I anyways get asked if this means I can't eat bread and biscuits.

I can eat special bread and biscuits, but can't eat the standard ones.

I'm often asked by pupils how I can walk in the high heels I wear. "By putting one foot in front of the other!"

I've not long since had my third child. Baby happens to be our third son. We've been asked by pretty much everyone if we are finished or if we'll be trying for a girl. I'm not a fan of asking woman about their pregnancy plans as you don't know the struggles couples face - people know we've had struggles and yet we are still asked.

Then there's the assumption during quizzes that if the category relating to what I teach comes up I will know the answer. People are never satisfied when I say "oh that's not an area I've studied/ am interested in"

'Oh are they all the same dad?'
'Didn't you have a telly?'
(I have four children).

To the, 'didnt you have a telly' question... I now answer,
"yes I had a big telly; I just really enjoy sex!"
I look then right in the eye and smile & they always look very awkward. Even did it in church once

I used to have a small pony and would take her for walks near to the stables. This was in the countryside and we were walking around fields, not down the local high street. It was common to see people out riding horses, so surely not that much of a stretch for someone to be leading one that was too small to be ridden?!

On nearly every walk I would get some variation of "Ooo, that's a big dog, heeheehee". Yep, so original!

"are you going to try for a girl?" I have two boys.

The answer is no, two difficult births resulting in the consultant telling me, while I was having my foof stitched up, baby whisked off to x-ray to check if he had broken his shoulder, that the next would be a c section. No thanks.

Plus I'm almost 34, I had my babies at 25 and 30, I ain't having another.

I'm very short sighted, when I was at school people would ask to try my glasses on and then go 'Oh my god, how do you see in these?'. This has also happened to me as an adult actually now that I think about it.

Then when I tell people my prescription they express further surprise that I can see at all.

I have coeliac disease

"Oh go on have a little bit. It won't hurt/won't kill you'

Fucking hell Doris if only it was that easy🙄🤦‍♀️ never mind the fact my body will literally attack and destroy my intestines if I eat gluten

Or

" oh I don't envy you, I couldn't be gluten free I'd miss the Chinese/doughnuts/everything delicious"

Fuck. Off.

My name is Jane and DH's name is Peter. We get asked, 'Read any good books lately?' I tell them we have friends called Janet and John.

Has anyone ever told you you look like a young Debbie Harry........

How do you get your hair that long? (its knee length)
"Where are you from?" and then "but wheres your accent from?" coz clearly I don't know where I'm from and have imagined having lived in the same bloody county my entire life. (I also can't hear how my accent is different but apparently it is)

“Like the rock star?”

My actual name is the stage name of a vert famous rock star of the 70/80/90s.

Then there's the assumption during quizzes that if the category relating to what I teach comes up I will know the answer. People are never satisfied when I say "oh that's not an area I've studied/ am interested in"

Oh, yes! You teach French and have a good working knowledge of Spanish, so you're guaranteed to know what the Maori phrase for 'democratic process' is!

@Tinkerbellone My dad liked to tell people "yeah but you have to do something in the adverts"

Not so much a question as a statement - "I love your hair but I expect you hate it". It's ginger and curly and I actually love it, always have.

I have very curly hair.

“Have you ever had it straightened?”

F**k off!!! I’d never think to as the opposite of someone with straight hair.

@CharitySchmarity
Are you me?

I adore my hair. It’s the best hair ever. That statement always gets to me too

I work for an organisation that has been very much in the news recently. There are many Facebook experts who appear to be able to do my job better than me. Which is odd since I didn’t see them in any of the exam halls or offices or construction sites I’ve been on in the last 25 years.

I get asked “why don’t you dredge the rivers” around 4 times a day.

Me to @Clammyclam

"But what about men?"
I work in a charity that supports women, started by women with lived experience of domestic abuse. We run women's groups.
There is no equivalent charity in our area for male victims of abuse which is a shame, but sometimes it gets really tiring to have to keep repeating why we exist and why we need to provide a women only safe space.
I then say we'd be happy to advise any group of male victims who wanted to start a similar charity. And tell them that we will support men on the phone and 1 to 1 ( which we do because there is no local men's charity) This usually gets them back on side and I'm allowed to talk about women again. This happens nearly every time someone asks me what I do!

@Coldemort
Twll din pob sais usually goes well. As in a Mumsnet Go well.

I used to work in a tourist attraction with wax figures in it. Unless I continually moved people would touch my arm or pretend to be startled and then ask if I was real. Dozens of times a fucking day - yeah original and hilarious.

My name is Russian. I used to be asked 'are you from Russia' er no...London actually. My name is now popular among Indian people 'do you know your name is Indian?' Grrrrr.

My husband travels for work a lot and the number of people who know me well but still ask 'why don't you go with him?" Knowing full well I have to look after our 3 children and that actually I have quite a senior management job and couldn't just go away if I wanted to!

Not a question, but - as a long term singleton (divorced), the number of times I've heard 'you'll meet someone when you least expect it/you never know what's around the corner'. I observe that I've spent 25 years expecting nothing and going round a lot of corners, so it seems pretty unlikely...

"Can you eat that?"

(I have type 1 diabetes. Yes, I can eat it, whatever it is, if I want to.)

Back when I used to work as a barista:

Customer: Orders coffee
Me: Would you like any sugar in that?
Customer: Oh no thanks dear/sweetheart/love I'm sweet enough hawwwww hawww hawwwww

🤦‍♀️