Is direct cremation selfish?

[Babysharkdoodoodood]

DH and I are doing our wills and I've said I just want direct cremation with £500 put aside for drinks and sandwiches at the pub.

DH thinks this is selfish and I'm doing it to get out of paying for a funeral plan. That's it partly, but I think it's such a waste. I'm dead. I'm not going to care about a naive coffin and funeral car.

I would rather have the money to go to my kids and if the people I'm leaving behind want to mourn, they can do it in private and have a wake at the pub, with drinks on me.

I've never been one for ceremony. Our wedding was registry office and a small meal. So why should that change in death?

And besides if DH wants the full works, then he can pay for it?

Seems the wrong way round to me though @Babysharkdoodoodood

If your dh is the one who feels he needs a funeral, then it should be your death that triggers that funeral, as that is the one he would attend (f you go first), and if you think you don't want / need a funeral to help with the mourning, then is is his death that should have no service or ceremony of any kind, surely ?

@BackforGood He wants the ceremony for his kids and family, mainly. He sorted out a coop plan tonight and I've set up my savings. Only need to save for a year or so and there's enough for cremation, but have a couple of grand already in my rainy day fund. Will put it into a joint account later, so he can access it easily.

I only have the 2 boys and they're as practical as me. He has 4 plus grandchildren and his family likes big get-togethers for christenings, weddings and funerals. Agree that they are for the living, but chances are my parents won't be around by then and don't really see much of extended family. Whereas he sees his lot once a month, so am happy to fall in with his plans and don widows's weeds for the day.