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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not send a wedding present thank you card

77 replies

Wanda1988 · 13/02/2020 21:52

We were married last September, no registry so we got a mix of cash, vouchers and decorative homewares. A few people gave us nothing which was fine. I ordered thank you cards with a wedding picture on them and sent them a few weeks later to everyone who gave us a present. At Christmas we saw a couple who said they had a present for us, but forgot to bring it to the wedding and forgot to bring it with them that day. We also saw them in January and no present, so I assumed nothing was actually coming. We visited their house last week and they gave us the present (a cheeseboard, not personalized or anything that had been specially ordered).
AIBU to not send a thank you note? I used up all the cards I ordered so I would have to place another order for a minimum of 20 cards, also I am a little annoyed at how many times they forgot it.

OP posts:
CareBear50 · 13/02/2020 22:42

Generic thankyou card is perfect

youngestisapsycho · 13/02/2020 22:43

Did you not thank them when they gave you the present? I wouldn’t send a card too.

Verbena37 · 13/02/2020 22:47

If you didn’t open it when they handed it over, then yes, a thank you note (not a special wedding one) will be a good idea. If you thanked them as they gave it to you and you opened it, then no card required.

Molly2017 · 13/02/2020 22:48

Are you ok hun?

FridgeOffal · 13/02/2020 22:48

If you opened it and thanked them there and then it doesn't need a card. Or get a generic one. Or get a single wedding photo card printed at a machine in Tesco or with touchnote app.

LuluJakey1 · 13/02/2020 22:48

A non-personalised cheeseboard! How dare they!

LuluJakey1 · 13/02/2020 22:49

I am staggered by their cheek. I would certainly never use the cheeseboard if it hadn't been personalised with my ad DH's names.

SabineUndine · 13/02/2020 22:50

Write them a nice letter, thanking them. Much better than a card.

MiniGuinness · 13/02/2020 22:50

just get a regular card, it all ends up in the recycling anyway. Even —especially— the photo ones. It is incredibly rude to not send a thank you card even if you deem the present late (it isn’t late by the way)

Babayaggatheboneylegged · 13/02/2020 22:53

Why would anyone want a personalised cheeseboard? Is that even a thing??

Mmm, cheese. They may be tardy but they do have good taste. Pun intended.

Ladyratterley · 13/02/2020 22:54

I thought the done thing was to send all guests a thank you card for attending. That’s what we did when DH & I got married, irrespective of whether the guest gave us a gift or not.
Some of our guests didn’t even give us a card, which surprised me, but it would have felt churlish not to send everyone thank you cards when they made the effort of attending our wedding.

Original poster
Wanda1988 · 13/02/2020 22:54

Thanks all, I think I’ll just pop a generic card in the mail. For those of you who commented on my point about the board not being personalized - I just meant that it wasn’t like they had to order it in specially or anything which would have explained the delay. I’m not some nut who only accepts personalized home wares!

OP posts:
crispysausagerolls · 13/02/2020 22:55

Christ alive are people really this rude?! You should send thank you cards just for attending your wedding. Obviously you need to send one for a gift.

Peacenquiet2 · 13/02/2020 22:55

Save the environment and don't send anything. Thanks verbally is more then enough

TheSmallAssassin · 13/02/2020 22:59

You don't need to send a card if they gave the present to you in person and you said thank you to their faces. You only need to send thank you cards for presents on the day because you will have opened them later and not been able to thank them then and there.

Giraffey1 · 13/02/2020 23:07

It’s rude not to send a thank you card in such circumstances, I think. It won’t hurt you to send one.

EmmaC78 · 13/02/2020 23:16

For people saying it is rude, you must be assuming everyone likes receiving cards. I hate it and find it a complete waste of time and money. I literally open the envelope and add it straight to the recycling pile. I would much rather someone said thank you in person. I have never thought less of anyone who did not send me a card and in fact wouldn't even notice if I didn't get one.

EmeraldShamrock · 13/02/2020 23:17

I can't believe you didn't send them a thank you card for attending.
I am not married. I didn't realise you only thank those who gave a gift, how do you know who did and didn't? Is there a check list. The gift of time and effort of guests is probably the most valuable gift. Cheesy with true.

EugenesAxe · 13/02/2020 23:18

I voted YANBU but mainly because I presumed you opened it and were able to say thanks in person? If you didn't open it in front of them, then I agree you need to send a note but don't bother about ordering another 20 bespoke cards. Even a pretty notelet would suffice.

FrancisCrawford · 13/02/2020 23:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dieu · 13/02/2020 23:32

Oh, to only have non issues such as this to worry about in life!

Phrowzunn · 13/02/2020 23:51

I voted YABU because you only sent thank you cards to guests who bought you a present!! We sent thank you cards to everyone, with a mention of their gift if they got us one or just a thank you for being part of our day if not.

Thedogscollar · 13/02/2020 23:58

I hope you never having anything really serious to worry about if this is what you are stressing over.

Purpleartichoke · 14/02/2020 00:08

Buy a generic pack Of thank you cards and send one of those. Use the remainder for future occasions.

katy1213 · 14/02/2020 00:08

How rude. Just write them a little note, why on earth would you need to buy 20 cards?

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