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AIBU?

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Original poster

... To be nauseated at Valentines Day?

149 replies

Syrinx89 · 13/02/2020 19:36

Seriously, though. Why celebrate the same day being "romantic" with the entire UK population, for the sake of retail cashing in? And nope, I'm not bitter. I'm in a happy relationship of 6 years and we both hate the idea, thank goodness. Also feel sorry for my single friends.

OP posts:
SerenDippitty · 14/02/2020 08:45

I also do feel its the one day where if you are single (and not out of choice) it must be really shit. the 'oh look at me, look at me' posts on social media must become overwhelming if you feel lonely

Mother’s Day is the same for those who are childless not by choice or have lost their mothers. I would not argue it should not exist though.

ladybee28 · 14/02/2020 08:46

Valentines Day doesn't bother me, what makes me want to poke myself in the eye is seeing the same conversation come out every year like it's a revelation.

"I think Valentines Day is stupid!"

OK, good. We did this last year, though. And the year before that, and the year before that...

It's like talking about the weather... except the weather actually changes.

The Valentines debate is always the same debate, always the same opinions and reasoning...

is there a Clear Discussion History button on our brains that means we need to go over it all again?

ShatnersWig · 14/02/2020 08:46

Chasing You're absolutely right, I was generalising. It can be shit at school too.

I hate Mother's Day (because it's an American commercialisation anyway) and Christmas too.

NameChange84 · 14/02/2020 08:47

Oh yes, I definitely find Mother’s Day very very difficult and painful emotionally. Valentines in comparison is not difficult at all.

Apirateslifeforme · 14/02/2020 08:51

It is a bit of a cash cow, but any opportunity to show those I love, that I love them I will take.
In our house it's a special day for all.
I always keep the gifts small token gifts, a special breakfast and it's just a nice time for us to show our appreciation of each other.
Weve both hot depression, and I thi k it helps to have a reason to go out of our way and be extra kind to each other

But I do think in some respects you're right. Over commercialised shit a lot of it. I keep away from flowers that are valentines linked or more expensive because of V day.

Zenithbear · 14/02/2020 08:51

I've been single on Valentines day before and I wasn't scarred for life by other people sending chocolates and cards to their other halves.
Perhaps I should have made my friends cancel their wedding that year so as not to upset me.
Me and dp are romantic all year as well as on Valentines.

loobyloo1234 · 14/02/2020 08:53

@SerenDippitty

I didn't say it shouldn't exist. Just that it will make some already lonely people no doubt feel even worse if it's rammed down their throats - and so I have sympathy for them

thepeopleversuswork · 14/02/2020 08:55

I also loathe it (and also in a happy relationship so not bitter). We both take the view that Valentine's is another opportunity to bully people into spending time and cash they don't have.

It also seems calculated to make everyone feel insecure: people in relationships feel obliged to shell out money for shit their partner doesn't want, singles feel judged by society for not being in a relationship. Nauseating.

If you really love someone you can show romance to them every other day of the year. If you're having to traipse out for petrol station flowers or naff red undies just because its Feb 14th its nature's way of telling you your relationship is over.

Dyrne · 14/02/2020 08:56

Well I was absolutely delighted with my stunning flowers this morning, and DP was equally pleased with his naice craft beer and chocolates. We have a long running competition on who gets each other the best (or worst, depending on your view) pun on a card. Last year we got each other the same card Grin

I am completely unapologetic for taking 5 minutes this morning to tell the man I love that I love and appreciate him. And flowers and chocolates are always nice.

Just because it’s a “forced” holiday doesn’t mean you can’t join in. You could say the same about Christmas, Easter, Mother’s/Fathers day, Hallowe’en etc. All have the potential to leave people out and feeling alone and unhappy. All have turned into an over commercialised mess. Doesn’t mean the rest of us can’t celebrate it 🤷‍♀️

Waxonwaxoff0 · 14/02/2020 08:58

Meh. It's all a bit cheesy but I can't get worked up about it.

I'm happily single by choice but I don't think it's unfair on people who are unhappily single to be honest. It's a bit silly how people aren't allowed to celebrate things publicly just because it might upset someone else. My dad abandoned me when I was a child, I don't get upset on Father's Day when I see others celebrating.

thepeopleversuswork · 14/02/2020 09:01

Dyrne I don't think it means other people shouldn't be allowed to celebrate it. Its a free country.
I do, however, think those who put lots of store by it are smug and naff and a bit lacking in imagination.

Nicolastuffedone · 14/02/2020 09:03

We always celebrate it.....cards/gift, but we don’t wait for the Valentine’s Day to give each other something or to show our love/appreciation for each other, no forced romantic gestures here, and definitely no polyester cuddly toys??!! But we do make the day special......why not! ❤️🥂🥰

FebruaryBlueberry · 14/02/2020 09:05

It is so NOT offensive that I couldn't get worked up over it. Some couples are so busy with kids and work etc that they find it hard to make time for each other. If there is a day of the year where they are encouraged to make time for each other then why not?

I am in a relationship and we get each other a card, maybe some flowers and that's the end of it. No big deal

ShatnersWig · 14/02/2020 09:05

Just because it’s a “forced” holiday doesn’t mean you can’t join in.

And how do you join in with it if you're single Dyrne?

Solina · 14/02/2020 09:05

Been together with OH for almost 8 years now. Never bother with it, its not really a thing in my home country (same with Halloween and bonfire night etc). I think we went out once on valentines and he got me a plant I wanted another year as I happened to want it around the same time.

But I don't hate Valentines and I don't act all superior to others because they want to celebrate it. And what with it being commercialised, well so is every other holiday in the UK so why would this one be any different? And just because some people choose to buy their OH a present on Valentines doesn't make them a rubbish partner at other times of the year or a sheep. If it did then you could say the same thing about mothers/fathers day, Birthdays, Christmas and so on...

Wotrewelookinat · 14/02/2020 09:10

We don’t bother with Valentine’s Day...been married 16 years and never have as it’s a totally contrived day and means nothing in the great scheme of a relationship.

PrincessHoneysuckle · 14/02/2020 09:13

It's a bit of daft isnt it,its just an excuse to be a bit romantic and theres nothing wrong with that.

Dyrne · 14/02/2020 09:19

ShatnersWig

Well back when I was single I have variously:

A) Done nothing, treated it like a normal day, and didn’t give a shit.
B) Conspired with housemates to deliver a hilariously over the top “Romantic” Valentine’s Day meal for the only one of us with a boyfriend; complete with an insane amount of rose petals, candles (set off the smoke alarm), “meal” (KFC bucket) and “music” (none of us can play the recorder but that didn’t stop us)
C) Had a chilled movie night in with friends.
D) Done a “Pal-entines” day with friends complete with “Secret Cupid” gifts.

SueEllenMishke · 14/02/2020 09:22

There seems to be a trend to hate valentine's Day and mock and sneer at those who choose to celebrate. It's sad. If it's not for you then don't bother. It really is that simple.

I hate mother's day because I lost my mum very tragically years ago but I don't begrudge others celebrating it.

We're quite low key. We get cards and have a tradition of buying each other underwear. We then go out for a meal as a family in the evening. It's nice.

Dyrne · 14/02/2020 09:22

A single friend last year posted a lighthearted thing on social media: “this Valentine’s Day I have decided to go all out and treat the person I love most in the world... me!” With a photo of a bunch of flowers, Prosecco, and chocolates. Grin

FET2020 · 14/02/2020 09:25

I’m normally with you and have never bothered in my 15 year relationship but this year Ive bought my husband flowers and chocs and we’re going to the cinema. We’ve just had a baby and things are hard (ish) relationship-wise. Valentine’s Day has reminded us to give each other a bit of much needed attention in a pretty overwhelming newborn time!

NameChange84 · 14/02/2020 09:26

ShatnersWig

Been single most of my life. I’ve done “Galentines” parties with single friends. I give and receive little cards and gifts to my loved ones. Treat myself. Watch a cheesy film, eat some nice chocs, light candles etc. I celebrate the love that’s in my life...yes I’m single but I love and am loved too.

ShatnersWig · 14/02/2020 09:28

Dyrne I wouldn't have said A) or C) were, as you put it, "joining in with it". I can't see me and my male friends doing B) or D) either Grin

malificent7 · 14/02/2020 09:28

Im happy as i got a giant bar of Toblerone!

Vulpine · 14/02/2020 09:30

You know you can get medication for nausea?