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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

... To be nauseated at Valentines Day?

149 replies

Syrinx89 · 13/02/2020 19:36

Seriously, though. Why celebrate the same day being "romantic" with the entire UK population, for the sake of retail cashing in? And nope, I'm not bitter. I'm in a happy relationship of 6 years and we both hate the idea, thank goodness. Also feel sorry for my single friends.

OP posts:
catspyjamas123 · 13/02/2020 20:59

Yes there was once a thrill in a card or rose from a secret admirer and the intrigue of guessing (wrongly) who had sent it. I’m thinking back to late teens/early 20s. For middle aged people it’s just another chore remembering to shell out your cash.

Likethebattle · 13/02/2020 21:51

I like it, we do other things throughout the year but Valentine’s Day just reminds you that you are loved and should celebrate that fact. I was single for soooooo long that it’s nice now to get a wee card now.

PrincessHoneysuckle · 13/02/2020 21:54

@recrude that's all mines getting aswell

Nowayorhighway · 13/02/2020 22:06

I just ignore it, I’ve never bought into the hype.

NineSwans · 13/02/2020 22:09

I actually saw a man walk out of a shop with a box of Milk Tray this evening. I don’t know whether he had a finely-honed sense of irony or was just really unimaginative.

lemontreebird · 13/02/2020 22:21

NineSwans - at least he bought a gift. It's so sad when you read on here, how many men don't bother with presents for their partners.

justasking111 · 13/02/2020 22:25

It is nice to think of each other now and again, valentines or just on a whim to be bought flowers. We do not go in for meals out, but do enjoy a nice dinner.

UserUser321 · 13/02/2020 22:37

@lemontreebird - it’s not sad if the woman doesn’t want a gift though? I told DH very early on in our relationship (many moons ago) that I didn’t do Valentine’s Day and I’d rather he didn’t buy me a gift as I’ve always felt that a gift given for valentines is devalued by the fact that the man is almost forced to buy the woman a gift just because it’s Valentine’s Day. I’m not a materialistic person right enough so receiving gifts doesn’t bother me in the slightest. I’d rather someone’s time and not just because it’s Valentine’s Day

Nuttyaboutnutella · 13/02/2020 22:51

I'm not a fan of valentine's Day. Its nice for those who do celebrate it but it just feels forced to me. DP surprised me with a box of my favourite dark chocolate last week, just because I deserved a small something for looking after the kids all day (demanding baby and toddler with ASD)
That meant more to be than having card/flowers/etc tomorrow when it's 'expected'

What annoys me is the sheer amount of wasteful tat in the shops which will just end up in landfill.

Pilot12 · 13/02/2020 23:10

If you don't like it, ignore it and do what you normally do on a Friday. Nobody is forcing you to take part.

MagentaRocks · 13/02/2020 23:11

We don’t do Valentine’s Day and never have but I don’t think people that do are wrong. Although I do think it was better when younger, single and it being getting a card but not sure who from.

VeryQuaintIrene · 13/02/2020 23:17

The trick is to find someone who feels the same way about it. I agree with the OP and when MrsIrene and I got together, I told her how yuk and forced I found it all and since then we've never bothered, though we are quite romantic generally, I think.

Franklymydearidontgiveadam · 13/02/2020 23:27

I quite like it, DP is romantic 2x a year, valentines and anniversaries so I'll take that. Its just a bit of fun, like Halloween etc.. Oh and no one whinges about pancake day, that's a big cash cow on overrated manky cooked batter. Xx

RHu1966 · 13/02/2020 23:30

Funny. I've sent a Valentine's Day package (chocs, etc) to my daughter at uni, have hidden chocs for my 15 year old to find in the morning, have made a card for my partner, and I sent a card to my best friend too. I'm not expecting anything back and I'm sure they think I'm quite dotty. It's fun though!

RUSU92 · 13/02/2020 23:32

My ex always said he didn't want to be told when to buy flowers and gifts, he could do it any day. But he never did!

My current DP buys me Valentines gifts/cards/flowers etc and also random Tuesday flowers and "I was in the supermarket" flowers, and takes me out for dinner all the time.

So Valentines day doesn't have to be instead of spontaneous shows of affection, it can be as well!

lemontreebird · 13/02/2020 23:33

@UserUser321 - no, of course not. I was referring to the many posts I've seen on here over the years, where women would like a gift and sadly don't receive one.

eyemask · 13/02/2020 23:35

I'm hoping I can sneak out on Saturday to buy some reduced chocolates. I am happily married and will probably receive something.

Littlebearstrousers · 13/02/2020 23:37

I remember an ex years ago coming home from work on Valentines day with a dozen roses for me. Then saying how all the men from work on the same lunch hour had all gone to the supermarket together to buy them. Just seems so forced and the opposite of romantic.

1Morewineplease · 13/02/2020 23:44

I’m with @Ylvamoon
St Valentines Day was about announcing your unrequited love! Not about spending a fiver or even tenner on a single rose, buying a red sequinned monkey from Tesco or a crappy mug with shit pralines.
If you declare your love , a meal, simple flowers or just a bit of loveliness means so much more.

Bigearringsbigsmile · 13/02/2020 23:52

Aibu to be nauseated by people who declare that they are nauseated by valentine's day?

Leflic · 13/02/2020 23:52

I was told Valentines Day is an opportunity to tell someone who you are NOT in a relationship that you fancy / love them.

This. It’s supposed to be for the singles not the couples.

I quite like it. I had great fun sending mystery cards to blokes I fancied (beer when I worked for an off license).
Lost it’s fun now I’m married although I have a soppy one so I get wine and chocolates if not the whole meal out every year.

sweetkitty · 13/02/2020 23:57

We don’t celebrate it. Our anniversary is next month and we do something special for it instead. Means more to us.

Don’t really care what anyone else does, DH and I were laughing at the valentines gnomes in Asda tonight though

katy1213 · 14/02/2020 00:04

It seems to get more commercial each year. I was looking at the red roses in Tesco this evening and thought how unimaginative and manufactured they looked - and there were some truly ugly blue-dyed roses in Waitrose the other day. I'm not superstitious but the red rose/white lily combo seen en masse did make me think of blood and bandages and the old superstition about not bringing red/white to hospitals.
Having said that, when I was in my teens I was thrilled - so maybe we all need our fix of unimaginative pre-fab romance.
Sadly, looking back at vast bouquets I have received over the years - but gay men do buy the best flowers!

Blackandgreenteas · 14/02/2020 00:15

I must be very greedy because when I think of Valentine’s Day, I just think about the food and drink associated Blush

Helpinghim · 14/02/2020 00:44

It's our wedding anniversary, we got married on valentine's because it was the day that we first told each other that we loved each other.
We don't go mad, he cooks me a steak and his lovely wedges and roasted broccoli. I buy him some imported M&M's and we share cards.

He gives me flowers and treats year round, so neither of us see it like many of you. It doesn't need to be cheap red merchandise and cuddly teddies!

Like anything, it is what you make it!