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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

... To be nauseated at Valentines Day?

149 replies

Syrinx89 · 13/02/2020 19:36

Seriously, though. Why celebrate the same day being "romantic" with the entire UK population, for the sake of retail cashing in? And nope, I'm not bitter. I'm in a happy relationship of 6 years and we both hate the idea, thank goodness. Also feel sorry for my single friends.

OP posts:
Ilady · 14/02/2020 00:46

It's not an easy day for some people. Some people are single and would like to meet someone but valentine's Day reminds them that once again they are on their own. Then you get ms perfect who puts up on FB all that their husband/boyfriend/partner bought them or on their perfect night out.
One of my friends will see this later today but has decided to keep quiet about the fact this ladies partner has been sending her sexy texts, dick pics and was planning a bit of fwb sex. She said I wont distroy her happiness but I will get my own back on him. She knows it's just a matter of time before he gets caught with his pants down so to speak. His partner is firey so she said to me I wish him the best of luck when this happens.

Willowashen · 14/02/2020 06:06

YANBU. It’s seedy, tawdry “celebration”.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 14/02/2020 08:01

It is a load of absolutely shite. Shite gifts, shite cards with a massive price tag. £4 for one in tesco yesterday, eh, no thank you. Anyone who takes it seriously, and gets worked up when people point out how ridiculous it is, needs to get a grip. It is a total scam. Another way for the shops to make money. Good time for it aswell, can imagine there's a bit of a drop in sales after Christmas.

frillyfarmer · 14/02/2020 08:08

I think it's great for our independent florist and paper shop at a time of the year where they would otherwise by very quiet, the butchers are also offering their version of M&S dine in meal deal which is fab.

I love supporting local retail and although we quite often buy flowers from that florist anyway, it's a nice excuse to get an extra special bunch. It's as seedy and as commercial as you make it, really.

TheMemoryLingers · 14/02/2020 08:11

No one is forced to participate. It's a bit of fun while spring is still a distant prospect.

ShatnersWig · 14/02/2020 08:14

Singles Awareness Day.

It's fun when you're at school and the whole sending a card to someone you fancy but as you get older it's just commercialised - excuses to whack up prices in restaurants, huge amount of tat that gets bought. You get people who hate it, people who expect flowers sent to the office so that they can show off how much their partner loves them in front of others (but probably don't buy anything for their man).

I'm another in the "show you love someone all year round and with random acts of kindness" camp.

Frownette · 14/02/2020 08:15

Neither of us are bothered about it, it's up to other people if they are.

He always knows if I'm upset when I walk in the door without me saying anything and takes time to talk/comfort me which means more than chocolate.

SerenDippitty · 14/02/2020 08:21

I like it. I have no children or mother, and could post about how Mother’s Day is just commercialised nauseating nonsense and you can show your mother you love her all day, but I don’t. I know some people like it and I just let them get on with it.

MouthBreathingRage · 14/02/2020 08:22

I think it's a load of commercial tosh as well. At least with other events of this nature, you can see an original to them, a fun old story or fable along with the mindless spending and gluttony. Valentine's day is pure bollocks as far as I know. It's also steeped in sexist idealism.

Welsh valentine's is different though, that's quite a big part of Welsh mythology. I'd love a gift of a traditional wooden Love Spoon one year, they are so beautifully crafted.

madmother1 · 14/02/2020 08:24

@Shinycat
I'm planning the exact same evening!! I've got my dine in for 2 from M&S. Enjoy x

AlternativePerspective · 14/02/2020 08:27

There is a deeper message though. people who are single are almost made to feel worthless because everyone else around them is supposedly in happy relationships by sending hearts and flowers, and the truth is that an awful lot of those are doing so for show and hate each other the rest of the year. IME the bigger show someone makes of valentines the more unhappy their relationship generally is.

There is a spike in the suicide rate at this time of year, but hey, valentines is just a bit of fun..... Hmm

Strugglingtodomybest · 14/02/2020 08:27

I'm a bit of the fence. I don't mind it as a day, but we don't always celebrate it, and when we do we don't do the card, roses, present thing. However, if other people want to celebrate it in a different way to us then that is their right.

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 14/02/2020 08:29

Doesn't bother me. The local pub are having a singles night tomorrow which I think is quite amusing

Chillicheese123 · 14/02/2020 08:29

We do nice things for each other all the tome but Valentine’s Day is sort of our anniversary of becoming ‘official’ in my mind so we always try and do a card and a cheap little present, or go to the cinema or something. Don’t understand people who go all out with massive teddies and flowers etc that’s a bit tacky for me.

ShatnersWig · 14/02/2020 08:30

and could post about how Mother’s Day is just commercialised nauseating nonsense

But Mother's Day IS commercialised because Hallmark et al over in American took Mothering Sunday, which was a Christian thing, and turned it into what it has become now.

Chillicheese123 · 14/02/2020 08:30

@AlternativePerspective there’s a spike in suicides at Christmas also but we can’t just pretend Christmas doesn’t exist?

Ivalueloyaltyaboveallelse · 14/02/2020 08:31

DH is cooking our M&S dine in for 2 and then we will snuggle down to watch a movie later. We just enjoy the Valentine’s food and drink. We do swap cards but that’s about it.

loobyloo1234 · 14/02/2020 08:33

I also do feel its the one day where if you are single (and not out of choice) it must be really shit. the 'oh look at me, look at me' posts on social media must become overwhelming if you feel lonely

Im not a fan. We'll have an M&S Dine In meal and nothing much else. Ive said no cards this year, its such a waste of paper for starters

OlaEliza · 14/02/2020 08:33

Hating the day is a bit much. Hating the tat and wastefulness/landfill not so much.

We don't do cards or presents but will make more effort for dinner. M&S meal deal or a meal out.

ChasingRainbows19 · 14/02/2020 08:34

You can celebrate valentines AND be spontaneous and appreciate each other throughout the year you know? We buy each other Easter eggs too. But not religious. It's fine not to be bothered but why is it always these people that make a big point out of telling everyone it's crap or a money making made up con? Aren't all celebrations like that these days?

Don't buy into the tat giving or gushy social media posts but a little of something we both like and a meal out.Why not? The world isn't a nice place and it breaks up winter a little. if it makes people happy then why not?

I was that single person for most of my twenties and I didn't begrudge anyone but perhaps being long term single for a period is why I like it now I've been lucky enough to have been with my lovely man for 9 years.

Whole different story if you are in a rubbish relationship and it's all a bit fake and for the sake of it.

NameChange84 · 14/02/2020 08:42

Unhappy single here who’s birthday is also Valentines.

I love it and I am genuinely delighted for all my friends celebrating. I nipped into the supermarket last night around 11 and it was really heartwarming to see all the people coming in and carefully choosing flowers and cards. I’d also just been out for a meal with around 10 people and I was the only unmarried one and a fair bit of the conversation revolved around their plans for Valentines Day, what they were buying their spouses etc. Never occurred to me to feel nauseated or upset! I was just happy for their happiness Confused.

ChasingRainbows19 · 14/02/2020 08:43

@ShatnersWig actually valentines wasn't fun for me at school, I never received any and I was painfully shy and bullied. I had long periods of being single in my younger life but never would begrudge anyone being happy if that's how they choose. So now I have someone I love we can celebrate it. I don't care if others don't like it everyone has an opinion but it's always those that are really vocal. Most of us don't make a big song and dance about it if we celebrate.

The social media argument, well people use that for showing off and elaborating the truth at any time anyway.

Would be interesting to see those that are so vocal against valentines not celebrate other hallmark days considering the amount of posts on here that when they don't receive anything on Mother's Day or Christmas

I

BiddyPop · 14/02/2020 08:45

DH and I didn’t get each other anything - but I dug our the bracelet he game me for our 1st Valentines to wear today (it’s relatively cheap so quite delicate, so I rarely wear it). This is our 25th Valentines Day.

Our romantic night is our wedding anniversary, earlier in February- 20 years this year.

And he still surprises me sometimes coming home with a bunch of flowers on a random Friday or Saturday- just because. 💐. I much prefer that.

Vulpine · 14/02/2020 08:45

If it makes someone happy somewhere not sure how thats a bad thing. Stop being such cynical curmudgeon. Lets ban mothers day too whilst we're at it.

Piccalino3 · 14/02/2020 08:45

It's my birthday today so I have a bit of a love hate relationship with Valentine's. Dinner out is always a disappointment as too packed, set menu, years I've been single there's no one to celebrate with as all coupled up, especially when younger, generally I don't have one special day to myself (petty I know) and always get a joint birthday and Valentine's present whilst having to sort a present for my DH on my birthday.

Upsides are the M&S Valentine's meal deal, years I've been single still loads of cards and something to look forward to and now I enjoy seeing all the heart stuff in the shops, men rushing around with flowers and my kids get pretty excited. This year I've decided to embrace the 'community spirit' of my birthday and decorated the house with hearts, bought the kids chocolates and a little toy and card, we've even got lovely Valentine's decorations in our town centre so it does feel special. Planning on drinking my red velvet Bailey's later tonight with a huge slice of my heart birthday cake!