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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU not to carry 2 year old down stairs?

58 replies

kayakingmum · 13/02/2020 16:47

She can easily walk down the stairs but she wants me to carry her. Her tantrum has been going on for 15 mins so far.
Shall I gave in or not?

OP posts:
stophuggingme · 13/02/2020 16:48

Depends if you have the time and the nerves to sit it out Grin

ItWillBeBetterinAugust · 13/02/2020 16:49

Are you at home, or in the middle of King's Cross Station? Rush hour must be starting soon...

NearlyGranny · 13/02/2020 16:52

Nope! She needs to be independent, and the risk to you both of of carrying a heavy, lurching toddler on the stairs is not worth taking. Think how high your combined centre of gravity is.

If you give in, you'll be carrying her up and down until she's six and half your weight.

londonrach · 13/02/2020 16:53

If you said no and at hone i wouldnt...if in middle of a shopping centre i would

Rainallnight · 13/02/2020 16:53

Now that she’s having the tantrum, I don’t think you can give in.

But in general, once in a while, if she’s tired, I don’t think it does any harm?

youareacuntychops · 13/02/2020 16:54

Go down on your bottom and ask if she can do it too. Deflects the screaming without giving in

iheartislesofwight · 13/02/2020 16:55

no way, even if it was in public there is the danger you could both fall i wouldn't risk it.

youareacuntychops · 13/02/2020 16:55

Fyi due to arthritis in my ankle I wouldn't be able to do this and could never give in to DS. He learned quickly he would have to do it himself.

HariboBrenshnio · 13/02/2020 16:58

Pick your battles. This just isn't one I'd pick.

TheMustressMhor · 13/02/2020 16:59

Do not give in, OP.

She needs to learn that having a tantrum will not result in your changing your mind.

AmazingGreats · 13/02/2020 17:11

I would try and wait it out if I were you.

Only if I were you I would probably actually just lose my patience and pick her up, but I'd like to think I would wait it out because that is the right thing to do IYSWIM. I don't judge you if you fireman lifted her down those stairs though. We all have a break point

Singsongbird · 13/02/2020 17:13

I used to try to make holding hands fun instead. Squeezing and 'beep beep' hands, counting steps etc. I stopped completely before age 2 as pregnant.

Emijen · 13/02/2020 17:13

It depends where you are, if you’re at home I’d wait it out but if you’re in a busy shopping centre I would pick her up

PanannyPanoo · 13/02/2020 17:20

Do what ever makes your life easier.

KittenVsBox · 13/02/2020 17:31

Another one saying it depends where you are.
Home, wait it out. In public, I'd carry (but then I can carry my 10 year old, but not tried stairs for several years with him)

ethelfleda · 13/02/2020 17:42

DS is two but really small for his age, but too short to climb down the stairs by himself so we still carry him.

However, have some solidarity for dealing with a tantrum from a 2 year old. My life has never been this difficult.

TinyGhostWriter · 13/02/2020 17:47

If you give in, she’ll take away the message that she gets her own way if she has a tantrum .

Bitofnamechanging · 13/02/2020 17:49

I carry my three year.old down the stairs occasionally. But then he's not mastered them yet - I couldn't just leave him and wait it out. I do leave my two year old however.

Bringonspring · 13/02/2020 17:52

I carry my almost 5 year old down sometimes. I just pick my battles and figure I won’t be carrying him at 16 (I hope I won’t)

GummyGoddess · 13/02/2020 18:22

What age does everyone stop carrying them? I carry both the 3 year old and 20 month old (about 70lb in total) down with one on each arm. Didn't occur to me that they should be doing it themselves Blush

Singsongbird · 13/02/2020 18:26

Its very much each to their own, I don't think there's a right or wrong way like most of parenting

RainbowFlowers · 13/02/2020 18:31

Since you've done 15 minutes of it you might aswell see it through. Good luck! But no judgement if you admit defeat on this occasion!

Vulpine · 13/02/2020 18:31

I carried all my kids for ages. They're all fine independent walkers now. Give her a lift and a cuddle. These are precious years.

WorraLiberty · 13/02/2020 18:33

Fuck me that's dangerous GummyGoddess.

If you slipped or missed a step and fell forward, both kids would take the brunt of the fall.

Natsku · 13/02/2020 18:36

I never thought about the increased danger of falling when carrying my toddler down the stairs, I have fucking horrid slippery laminate stairs too. Guess tomorrow morning I'll be telling DS to walk down himself (for some reason he wants me to carry him down the stairs at home even though he happily walks down all other stairs that he encounters)