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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not let daughter do cheerleading?

464 replies

undercoverfunster · 13/02/2020 13:41

Am I BU? She's 8, school have a cheerleading club once a week. ( they don't actually cheer a team, just learn routines) Some of the 'cool' girls do it, so now she wants to. I think it's pointless, sexist and outdated. And the 'cool' girls are also the not-very-nice ones in her year, who make fun of her for being in the football team.

She''s a VERY active kid, plays football and tennis competitively, swims, runs, plays basketball. All of which she loves so doesn't need the exercise.

She has tried various 'girls' activities over the years ( to try to keep in with the 'cool' girls) but gets bored of them quickly ( dance, gymnastics, musical theatre, ballet, netball).

I just think cheerleading is shite! And sends the wrong message to girls - don't cheer for the team be IN the bloody team.
And I sure a heck don't want her quitting something useful to try it for 2 months and get bored...

OP posts:
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5
Coyoacan · 15/02/2020 02:25

I'm old si I still have a tremendous prejudice against cheerleading. I used to say yes to nearly everything but I put my foot when it came to majorettes

Anchovies12 · 15/02/2020 03:20

My 11 year old did cheer, it was very physically demanding and she particularly enjoyed tumbling. I was shocked though at every competition we went to: tiny, sexualised outfits, pre-teens in heavy makeup all made to look much older than they were.

Luckily she ditched it of her own accord when doing everything became too expensive in favour of lacrosse and horse riding.

Helloitsmemargaret · 15/02/2020 07:44

@M3lon so a sport is only valid if boys do it?

hernamewasrio · 15/02/2020 07:53

My daughter is a flyer for a competitive cheer squad. It is amazingly athletic and a sport being trialed at the olympics. She has confidence and agility I could only dream of. Her team skills can be applied throughout life. She volunteers too coaching younger kids as part of her D of E. Don't be so dismissive and prejudiced till you learn more about it. It's not just girls who cheer either. We moved back from the states where she would compete at competitions around the US like those seen on the Netflix Cheer.

MsTSwift · 15/02/2020 07:53

Anchovies I withdrew dd from a dance class at the show the 9 year old girls were caked in make up and quite sexualised moves. Ewwww

LaurieMarlow · 15/02/2020 07:57

She has two mams, which is why the ‘sexist’ and gender stereotyping accusations are so flipping hilarious.

So because you’re a lesbian you can’t be sexist or gender stereotyping?

What nonsense.

Janedoe82 · 15/02/2020 08:02

M3lon- what nonsense. There are reasons other than sexism boys don’t tend to do it. You do realise that boys and girls do different gymnastics? Completely different skills?

Original poster
undercoverfunster · 15/02/2020 08:04

Let’s just day with 2 mams in the house there Are no traditional gender roles. None of that blue job, pink job nonsense. We divide tasks and everything else 50/50 according to our skills, interests and likes/dislikes.
So yeah, I don’t think we are either sexist or stereotype on gender.

OP posts:
hernamewasrio · 15/02/2020 08:08

There are boys and girls of all backgrounds and sizes on my daughters squad. It is incredibly inclusive. She has gay and straight friends and it's an environment that encourages everyone to be themselves and proud of each other. I am so proud of the whole squad and their dedication to each other.

At each level there are guidelines and rules for their uniforms. Many universities here now have squads and my daughter is hoping to go back to the US for college with a scholarship for cheer.

I can't believe the judgment and stereotypes perpetuated on this thread through ignorance.

LolaSmiles · 15/02/2020 08:08

So yeah, I don’t think we are either sexist or stereotype on gender
Unless it comes to commenting on a sport you know nothing about, in which case it's totally fine.

LaurieMarlow · 15/02/2020 08:09

There are many sports which are more popular with girls than boys. Often, they’re more focused on aspects of physicality that girls are better at. Flexibility, poise, control. Think sports like ice skating and rhythmic gymnastics.

I find it sad and deeply unfeminist that people only value sports that boys do. That’s just our patriarchal society talking.

LaurieMarlow · 15/02/2020 08:11

So yeah, I don’t think we are either sexist or stereotype on gender.

I think this thread shows clearly you’ve swallowed the ‘boys sports are better’ patriarchal position hook line and sinker.

Vulpine · 15/02/2020 08:11

Thats great but she may not follow you verbatim in that

hernamewasrio · 15/02/2020 08:12

And omg boys DO cheer! In older squads they base and tumble and are essential for strength in pyramids and stunts!

Theflying19 · 15/02/2020 08:49

NRTFT warning. If she wld have to give up another activity or stay after school I'd say it's a good idea to say no. On the grounds that it's important to commit to existing activities and be in things for the long haul, and it's important to have time at home to chill rather than just have an activity filled life.
However if it's lunchtime club, let her join. Something to do with teacher watching... May even get an early lunch pass!
The sexist thing is kind of irrelevant. It's activity - as long as they are not making them wear stupid costumes (like in netball - those blummin dresses make me cross) - then just see it as aerobics.

hernamewasrio · 15/02/2020 08:52

@Theflying19 it's not a costume it's a uniform.

Dividingthementalload · 15/02/2020 08:53

Ahh she sounds well rounded op so I’d let her do it? I know what you mean about the sexist history but it’s just a form of dance isn’t it?

Great on the football scouting! A bit of cheer won’t harm her and might improve her relationships with the girls who sound a bit jealous.

Aridane · 15/02/2020 08:54

Clearly OP does not know what cheerleading is and has no wish to find out

Ineke · 15/02/2020 08:56

YABU. My daughter did it at that age for about 4 years. The group had all ages and boys/men in it too. Very competitive, hard work, athletic, energising, and many competitions to go to around the country. No Pom Pom waving, and no team cheering, just demonstrations at matches etc. She loved it and made good friends with all ages, it was run by the University so mostly were Uni students, she, being one of the youngest was the one that used to fly the highest. It is a good discipline
and I would let your daughter make her own mind up over it, if she doesn't like it, no harm done.

MrPickles73 · 15/02/2020 09:01

I agreement it's tacky.

lostinthevoid · 15/02/2020 09:02

I did cheerleading at uni and it was great fun and great exercise. There were men on my squad, too.

JacquesHammer · 15/02/2020 09:06

So yeah, I don’t think we are either sexist or stereotype on gender

Are you saying two female-households can’t be sexist? I think you’re in for a shock. Your views on sport play into the very typical sexist narrative.

hernamewasrio · 15/02/2020 09:09

@MrPickles73 what experience do you have of Cheer?

Your comment is highly offensive to everyone who trains long hours each week to perfect their tumbling and stunt skills.

I shouldn't take the bait should I?

MrPickles73 · 15/02/2020 09:13

Why not do acro? I'm not saying cheerleading isn't physically demanding but it's roots are women being half time eye candy which is offensive.

JacquesHammer · 15/02/2020 09:16

Why not do acro? I'm not saying cheerleading isn't physically demanding but it's roots are women being half time eye candy which is offensive

So are you saying things can’t evolve? That women should stop doing a demanding and skilful sport because of its roots?