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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not let daughter do cheerleading?

464 replies

undercoverfunster · 13/02/2020 13:41

Am I BU? She's 8, school have a cheerleading club once a week. ( they don't actually cheer a team, just learn routines) Some of the 'cool' girls do it, so now she wants to. I think it's pointless, sexist and outdated. And the 'cool' girls are also the not-very-nice ones in her year, who make fun of her for being in the football team.

She''s a VERY active kid, plays football and tennis competitively, swims, runs, plays basketball. All of which she loves so doesn't need the exercise.

She has tried various 'girls' activities over the years ( to try to keep in with the 'cool' girls) but gets bored of them quickly ( dance, gymnastics, musical theatre, ballet, netball).

I just think cheerleading is shite! And sends the wrong message to girls - don't cheer for the team be IN the bloody team.
And I sure a heck don't want her quitting something useful to try it for 2 months and get bored...

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
LaurieMarlow · 14/02/2020 09:09

What is it ? Anti- American feeling ? Feeling that British things are superior and therefore acceptable?

That’s sure to be a part of it as small minded anti Americanism is an unfortunate characteristic of this site.

Tript · 14/02/2020 09:10

Lola, completely agree. Why should the people involved in the sport have to change the name of it because of other people's preconceived notions and the fact that they still experience sexism everyday just for wanting to do their sport. If you consider yourself a feminist, you should be advocating for those athletes!

Obviously, cheer has a very sexist history, which surprise, surprise so does almost every other sport! We don't punish current female footballers as women used to not be allowed to play football. We don't ask them why they're involved in a sport with such a sexist history or say 'well if you want to play you should change the name'. We move with the times and are thankful that things have changed.

Chillicheese123 · 14/02/2020 09:11

@LaurieMarlow there’s a May dance thing near me where the little girls wear pale blue apron dress things, you know the type, traditional Alice in wonderland style. Because light blue is the colour of purity and virginity .... I shit you not. That’s weird I don’t care how Naice the village is, and how traditional it is. And people say kids in their PE kits doing cartwheels is sexualised...

LolaSmiles · 14/02/2020 09:19

Tript
Exactly. There's sexism in many sports, but some seem more bothered about a sport they don't know much about with lots of illogical arguments like "bows and dresses are sexual in cheer, but fine in maypole dancing", "DD shouldn't cheer because she won't be doing it as a grandma and I want DD to do a hobby for life like all these sports I enjoy, of course I don't mind if her sport changes, it just can't be cheer, because, because..."

One annoyance I have is when cross country season comes round there's lots of events that have a men's event at 8/10km, but the women's event is usually 5km. Women regularly run half marathons and marathons so why are our cross country distances often shorter? Is it because we can't cope as much with the mud? Will our lady feet shrivel if they get too wet?
That bothers me much more than another sport having its own discipline and code of points and competitions etc.

formerbabe · 14/02/2020 09:31

This thread is nuts...as for preferring maypole dancing over cheer...that's pure classism and xenophobia imo. Maypole dancing is seen as quaint, British and performed at nice middle class fetes in nice middle class villages whereas cheerleading is viewed as brash, American and tacky.

Original poster
undercoverfunster · 14/02/2020 10:25

Well she’s not asked for Maypole dancing yet 😂😂😂

OP posts:
namechanger0989 · 14/02/2020 12:17

I think you are bvvvu. All my children do cheerleading (boys and girls) and they are amazing! All of their teams are national champions.
They can do hand stands, back flips, walk overs. My 12 year old can lift people in the air that are as big as her.
Her bum, stomach and leg muscles are to die for.
All kids have transferred all these skills and do amazing at PE at school.
My 6 year old can do many of the same tricks and she can balance in the air on one foot in someone's hand.
They have also learnt to deal with highs and lows, sportsmanship, dedication, prioritising.
It's an extremely under rated sport in my opinion and is certainly not all about Pom poms
It's a very under rated sport in my opinion.

MsTSwift · 14/02/2020 16:40

Maypole dancing is awesome. Nail on the head formerbabe. We are English let’s encourage maypole over cheerleading. Skipping round a pole holding a ribbon is something you never get to do in adult life.

Nowayorhighway · 14/02/2020 16:53

I think it’s sexist and outdated too, very American as well. I doubt boys join this club do they?

DanceItOut · 14/02/2020 17:30

My 7 year old does cheerleading. They dont cheer for a team. They are the team. Also there are six boys and ten girls in their team so I don't find it sexist either.

LolaSmiles · 14/02/2020 17:35

I doubt boys join this club do they?
Have you read the thread? There's multiple posters over 14 pages with experience of cheer saying repeatedly that All Star cheer is co-ed.

Most of my gymnastics class at primary school were girls. There were boys in my gymnastics club. It doesn't make gymnastics a girls' sport.
Most children who do ballet are girls. Last time I checked there's men in ballet from professional level dance schools and performing.
I'm not sure what sex balance in primary school says about any sport other than there's a high likelihood that being young they're probably heavily shaped by the attitudes to sport they are around them.

jillb55 · 14/02/2020 17:35

I had the same issue with my daughter. We were living abroad and she attended an American school. I did put my foot down. I don't mind so much if it is a mixed team but the sexism attached to girls in short skirts cheering on the boys, who are the main event, grated on me. Struck me as "toys for boys". She is 37 now and I think she would now agree. Must ask her one day.

paws17 · 14/02/2020 17:43

My daughter tried cheerleading for a year or so when she was around 13 - 14. It always appeared to me that there was one favoured child in each group of 5 participants - usually a sylph-like figure who was gymnastics-mad - who got to enjoy being flung into the air all the time whilst the other 4 unsuspecting kids got to pretend to be a human trampoline and then crash-mat, in quick succession. Not much fun for 80% of the participants for 80% of the time...

cherrybath · 14/02/2020 17:48

I really dislike cheerleading, its out of date and sexist. I've been appalled by the sleazy men who are often involved too. However if your daughter really wants to do it I would let her, explaining why your're not very keen on it. One of my own daughters wanted to do tap dancing (which I also dislike because I'm not a fan of any performing children) but she did it, enjoyed it, and grew out of it pretty quickly.

PotteryLottery · 14/02/2020 17:59

It's great teamwork and activity at our school, but I thought the same as the OP before I saw the class in action.

Lincolnfield · 14/02/2020 18:05

My granddaughter does cheerleading and, while I’d be killed by my daughter in law who thinks it’s wonderful, I have to say I hate it. She’s fourteen and quite well developed and when her team of cheerleaders have been jigging about and kicking their legs in the air at various local galas and fairs, there is usually a bunch of dirty old men hanging about leering at the girls in their leotards and skimpy knickers. It’s horrible.

Melx42 · 14/02/2020 18:16

Have you watched cheer on Netflix? These people are athletes themselves. I would let my children do it

DreamTheMoors · 14/02/2020 18:19

I was on a cheer team & I was bullied by a group of girls. It happens to lots of kids.

Hadleybeans · 14/02/2020 18:32

Yes. I don’t like the notion of cheerleading. But I let My kids do it because they were so keen. They were hugely Into it for one school year... and then gave up and moved onto something else....

Mummyrowland · 14/02/2020 18:42

Cheer is amazing. It's very physical and helps with core strength and discipline. My daughter did it for a few years and learnt a lot. Even pom cheer has huge bits of gymnastics in. It's not all girls and cheer now is seen as its own sport. Infact I believe it's been proposed as an Olympic sport itself.
I did it for a fair few seasons and it Def improved strength and flexibility

Turquoise123 · 14/02/2020 18:47

Have a watch i of some cheerleading - google some of the championships - it’s a full on sport . Totally agree it has a sexualised and sexist reputation but there is a really demanding sport there too.

Nearly47 · 14/02/2020 18:57

Agree. Let her do gymnastic, dance whatever. It isn't a sport. Sexist and demeaning to girls.

Nearly47 · 14/02/2020 18:59

It reminds me of people doing pole dancing for fitness.

angell84 · 14/02/2020 19:01

@LolaSmiles it is not about them wearing bows and dresses, it is about them wearing very little clothes!

I watched a cheer documentary about eight year olds, and the eight year olds were wearing bra tops and tiny hot pants

JacquesHammer · 14/02/2020 19:05

We are English let’s encourage maypole over cheerleading

Let’s encourage one tradition that didn’t start in England over another Grin