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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

‘Bubbly’ ‘smiley’ work colleagues

178 replies

Joker0fGotham · 13/02/2020 08:25

Thoughts?

OP posts:
FloraGreysteel · 13/02/2020 09:41

I'm a cynic but I prefer bubbly types to lift my mood. I'm guessing you don't like them by your use of " " If so then YABU.

nakedavengeragain · 13/02/2020 09:49

@curiousaboutsamphire. I'm also not moany or miserable. I get on with my work. When I talk to colleagues it's about work. Who the fuck has time to talk so much at work they know the intricacies of each other's personalities on a day to day basis??!

It's usually the ones who believe they 'are lifting others up' who are distracting pains in the arses while accusing others who are quietly getting on with their work as being 'mood hoovers'.

LolaSmiles · 13/02/2020 09:50

Why be miserable and moaning when there's another option to be smiley, happy and friendly?
I don't see the point in seeking conflict and fellow moaning buddies. I haven't got any inclination to hear about how Barbara has an ingrown toenail, how David is pissed off at the same class/student he is pissed off with every day, why Elaine and Jane think the act of kindness from senior leadership is obviously not an act of kindness etc.

I hate the word bubbly, find self-confessed 'bubbly' people to generally be extroverted, in need of attention and a little annoying, but I'd sooner have a bubbly colleagues that the moaning Minnies who can't take even the slightest act of kindness as a subject of complaint.

nakedavengeragain
That's quite a lot of irritation and anger directed at people who just happen to love on the happy side of life and aren't miserable at work.
Confused

Italiangreyhound · 13/02/2020 09:51

I love being at work and love talking to my colleagues. So smiling is natural. But we do get on with work too, of course.

I've put YABU because your use of '' suggests you don't think they are genuine.

jimmyjab · 13/02/2020 09:52

Thoughts on what exactly?

WinterCat · 13/02/2020 09:52

Bubbly and smiley, as long as genuine, is definitely my preference. I’ve worked with some sour faced and spiteful people in my time and it’s just a horrible working environment.

DrinkSangriaInThePark · 13/02/2020 09:53

Aren't happy people always nicer to be around than miserable cows?

Unless you are a miserable cow, I suppose.

Misery loves company.

DontDribbleOnTheCarpet · 13/02/2020 09:54

It depends- when I hear "bubbly" I always assume it means "cheerful but thick" and I did once work with a women who constantly told me all about how bubbly she was. I found her relentlessly annoying.

Now that I have the luxury of working from home and rarely have to work with other people, I tend to become completely absorbed in whatever I'm doing and wouldn't notice how smiley or otherwise anyone else is. My own mood is pretty neutral, because I'm just doing the work and not reacting to anything else. I would be grumpy if I had to work with someone who wanted to chat to me rather than letting me work, but being happy is generally better than being unhappy, so smiling would not annoy me (and I wouldn't notice much anyway, because I would be working!).

BIWI · 13/02/2020 09:55

Only on a Tuesday.

Christ, I hate these posts. What about your thoughts @Joker0fGotham? What's unreasonable or reasonable about what you think?

Rezie · 13/02/2020 09:55

I think it comes down to if it's genuine.

MarthasGinYard · 13/02/2020 09:55

Thoughts on an Op which just states 'Thoughts' ?

MimiLaRue · 13/02/2020 09:58

LOVE them. Would far rather have them than sour faced bitter complainers who permanently look like a bulldog chewing a wasp and make everything negative in life.

Oblomov20 · 13/02/2020 10:00

Irritating.

Why can't people be normal? Pleasant but not ott, ask how your holiday was, go for a works drink, bring cakes fur their birthday, just get in with their job and any projects in a professional friendly manner, say when life is shit because your husband has been made redundant for eg.

Jolly 24/7 people are just as draining as misers.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 13/02/2020 10:02

When I talk to colleagues it's about work. Who the fuck has time to talk so much at work they know the intricacies of each other's personalities on a day to day basis??! No idea. I don't do it, never had time!

It's usually the ones who believe they 'are lifting others up' who are distracting pains in the arses while accusing others who are quietly getting on with their work as being 'mood hoovers Never did any lifting, just smiled, got on with the job, The deliberately cheerful, cheerleader types are as bad as the misery guts and the gossipers and saboteurs! They all waste time and their attention seeking is irritating.

BUT.... I'll quietly pass my day with a pleasant word and a smile rather than sit wondering what the fuck other people are doing,. Because it makes MY day pass more pleasantly. Can't bring myself to care what others think about me.... that is their issue!

MimiLaRue · 13/02/2020 10:03

I have never known why some people put so much effort into being miserable, judgemental and downright unpleasant.

I dont get this either- and dont make the mistake that happy= stupid and miserable= intelligent. Ive met some proper hateful people in my time who were as thick as two short planks so this idea that if youre happy you arent bright is just not true.

Negativity just drains you of energy and you feel like a shell that has been sucked dry after spending time with constant complainers

OnABeachSomewhere · 13/02/2020 10:05

You can be quiet but still friendly. Just because you're not the "life and soul" of the party office, it doesn't automatically mean you're a spiteful mood drain!! Some of the most extrovert and "bubbly" people I've met have also been the bitchiest and most fake (and most are perfectly nice, but I want to tackle the myth that non-bubbly means negative).

TBH the idea that women "ought" to bubble (?) reminds me of 1940s job ads for a charming "girl" to be decorative, obedient, good at small talk etc. A man who is serious and gets on with his work wouldn't be called miserable, spiteful, an energy drain etc. I don't know why some people have such suspicion of non-bubbly women.

ChrisPrattsFace · 13/02/2020 10:06

Some one up thread has said it’s a clear sign colleagues show they’re not being overworked? That’s bull!

I am massively over worked, under staffed and our team is stretched in every way, in a difficult profession, I still smile at everyone everyday. I’m still a happy and positive person.
I’d rather overly happy people than miserable people.

PhilSwagielka · 13/02/2020 10:06

Sometimes they can be a bit much but I'd honestly prefer them to miserable bastards who just whine all day about EVERYTHING. I'm not exactly Fotherington-Thomas myself but my G-d, some of the people I worked with in my last job, I swear they never had ANYTHING positive to say. Moan moan moan moan.

bluebluezoo · 13/02/2020 10:08

Why be miserable and moaning when there's another option to be smiley, happy and friendly?

Because everyone is different and some people aren't bubbly happy extroverts?

We have permanently happy people, quiet ones who keep their heads down, ones who like to moan a bit, people who can't sit still and are up and down all day.

Everyone contributes to the team. Even the moaners- they are often justified and they are the ones who will raise issues with management while the smiley people pretend all is OK. The getting up and down ones can fetch tea and do printer runs for the ones who don't get our their chairs, the happy social people can organise leaving do's....

It would be boring if everyone was the same.

Redinthefacegirl · 13/02/2020 10:09

I'm not bubbly. I am enthusiastic and smiley, partly because it's my nature and partly because I like my job.

I also think its really important in my role. I take referrals from junior staff when hospital patients are getting sicker. Its vital I'm approachable or that newly qualified nurse won't call me and I cant help the deteriorating patient.

One of the best bits of my job is the relationships I've built with my colleagues. Wherever I walk in the hospital porters, physios, nurse, drs etc say hi. It helps with getting non clinical stuff done too.

theThreeofWeevils · 13/02/2020 10:15

'Bubbly' invites a corrective poke in the eye with a biro - ideally one of the glitter ink ones.

cushioncovers · 13/02/2020 10:15

It doesn't have to be all smiley and bubbly or miserable and sour. Somewhere in the middle is fine imo.

phoenixrosehere · 13/02/2020 10:15

Because everyone is different and some people aren't bubbly happy extroverts?

And bubbly happy people aren’t just extroverts either.

I’m a relatively happy person some would assume extroverted at work but the moment I get home I relax and recharge my batteries and don’t want unexpected visitors or guests and my husband is the same way. There are variances in introverts and extroverts. It’s not one or the other.

MimiLaRue · 13/02/2020 10:21

There are variances in introverts and extroverts. It’s not one or the other

Spot on. I'm bubbly at work but I need at least an hour a day on my own to recharge or else I get irritable and anxious. Given the chance I'd choose to be on my own but that doesnt mean I have zero social skills and cant have fun with others. That really shows a great misunderstanding of introversion and extraversion.

85notout · 13/02/2020 10:22

They are great but for the love of God would they please leave me alone until I've had my first coffee Grin