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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask DD to come home from Uni because of Coronavirus

104 replies

MeghanTheeFrenchie · 12/02/2020 18:54

Hi all, NM for this
I have a daughter at Sussex Uni and I am finding myself very anxious about the situation. On monday DD was emailed by the Uni that two students were being tested for Coronavirus, DD told me one of her flatmates saw a student being taken away by men in Hazmat Suits.

This along with the other cases in Brighton and the south coast is making me sick with worry. Aibu to ask her to come home.

OP posts:
Elliesmommy · 12/02/2020 21:49

Some really mean replies. I totally understand why you are anxious OP. I would be in the same boat if it were my son or daughter. I wouldnt ask them to come home. I'd make sure they know what to do ie hand washing.

SansaSnark · 12/02/2020 21:50

What happens if/when she says no? Because you say ask, but I'm guessing you expect her to say yes. Except she's an independent person now and she probably has deadlines up there and other stuff she can't/doesn't want to miss. So you have to face the possibility you could ask and she would say no.

If you continued to apply pressure after that, it could damage your relationship long term.

Seek some help for your anxiety, and leave her to follow university advice. If it gets to the point where they need to close the uni for any reason or send people home from halls, they will.

PlumsGalore · 12/02/2020 21:53

I would imagine if this was justified York university would be a ghost town right now.

Samhradh · 12/02/2020 21:55

I just heard the same rumour from a former student at my university — down to the HazMat suit detail — and I can assure it’s not true here. I think it’s essentially an urban myth.

lilgreen · 12/02/2020 22:05

My DD is at uni too. I get the worry but it’s unfounded. Plus my DD would laugh at me if I asked her to come home, she is an adult and makes her own decisions.I’ve told her to practise good hygiene, take her vitamins and try to get good sleep. This is what I’ve told her since before the virus. She’s already had fresher flu and 2 bouts of tonsillitis!

MarinaMarinara · 12/02/2020 22:09

I don’t know about your DD’s uni but at mine there was a residency requirement so going home (for how long? Weeks?) would risk your degree.

lilgreen · 12/02/2020 22:10

I suggest you only check WHO for updates and ignored the sensationalised headlines.

jasjas1973 · 12/02/2020 22:23

My DD is at uni doing a healthcare course, involving a lot placement and studying at a local hospital.
Course i'm worried but no more than i would be about all the other issues students face.

Chances are this virus will become very widespread, so wherever you are, you'll be at risk.
TBH i'd rather get it now whilst the NHS can cope than later when it won't be able too.

ladyflower23 · 12/02/2020 22:35

The cases at sussex uni have not been confirmed yet so you could ask her to come home for no reason at all. Also I agree with other posters that you shouldn't ask her to come back to ease your own anxiety. I completely understand why you would be feeling like this though.

terriblyangryattimes · 12/02/2020 22:37

My husbands work (large office based in Brighton) are asking people to work from home if possible to avoid having to be on public transport, work in large building etc. I thought it was overkill and ridiculous but Brighton is panicking a lot it seems. I think the odds are very low so would let her stay where she is for now.

trixiebelden77 · 12/02/2020 22:49

Realistically the best thing she can do is what she usually does - be vigilant with hygiene, seek medical help and steroids if needed early in any exacerbation of her asthma, make sure she is up to date with the vaccines that are available for other outbreaks causing deaths in the world at the moment eg flu and measles.

amd4578 · 12/02/2020 23:01

The lyrics to Green days American idiot ring true here "one nation controlled by the media" although at the moment its the whole world. Scary news gets viewers and sells papers that is all that is happening. This is the flu with a fairly similar mortality rate to the normal flu that we get every year. yes unfortunately it came out in China where most information is unreliable.

There was no way near as much hysteria when swine flu was around and that was far more lethal and had huge numbers in this country.

LittleCandle · 12/02/2020 23:06

As a student, your DD is far more likely to contract meningitis. If she is that concerned, she should wear a mask. Yes, asthma might make her a bit more likely to catch stuff, but that applies to every bug, not just the new one.

Coyoacan · 12/02/2020 23:27

I don't want to sound heartless but less than a thousand deaths in a country of a one and a half billion people would not normally even be news.

Casino218 · 13/02/2020 02:59

It's a national uni strike but not all lecturers are in a union so don't assume all lecturers ( like me) are striking.

1forAll74 · 13/02/2020 04:13

Stop the worrying if you can, and I am sure that the UNI will be on the ball about all things now. They would be the first to issue guidance to all the students.

EmmaGrundyForPM · 13/02/2020 04:57

Please don't project your anxieties onto your dd.

pigsDOfly · 13/02/2020 15:01

Just looking at news feeds online and seen that Kentlive are reporting the possibility that a couple of people may have caught the 'deadly' coronavirus; 'deadly coronavirus' being written in large red letters.

Is it only me who finds this sort of reporting unhelpful, to say the least.

Yes, people have died, but many people have recovered quite quickly. Many, many viruses are 'deadly' to one degree or another, are they all described as 'deadly'? No, of course they aren't. Completely irresponsible.

You have to wonder if some reporters are actually hoping to whip up greater levels of panic in the population.

Charliecat98 · 14/02/2020 09:13

I also have a son at Sussex and I understand that you’re anxious. However, the students themselves are dealing with this well and getting on with their lives. They are indeed young adults! The risks are probably the same as catching other things. Don’t let your DD know how anxious you are, but be on hand for texts, FaceTime etc. My own son is more annoyed about the lack of communication by the university, and yet another strike next week! Not what you need in your final year.

Hingeandbracket · 14/02/2020 09:28

YABVVVVVVVVVU

sueelleker · 14/02/2020 09:33

I live in Brighton (literally 10 minutes bus ride from the University) and I've only seen a couple of students in masks in the whole town.

woodchuck99 · 14/02/2020 09:39

I understand why you are anxious OP. I think many students around the country are too. However, I think that generally they are the population that is likely to be careful about this and alert authorities if they don't feel well. Hence the fact that there have been a lot of alerts in universities around the country.

Blackandgreenteas · 14/02/2020 09:41

I worry about my dd who is asthmatic too so I get it.

For one thing you can’t BRING her home, as if she’s at Uni she’s over 18 and it’s up to her.

For another, you can’t avoid anywhere in Sussex/ near Brighton as it’s disproportionate.

Blackandgreenteas · 14/02/2020 09:42

I say that as someone who caught swine flu and had an awful time but was fine.

InfiniteSheldon · 14/02/2020 09:42

14 people out of 68 million in the UK
800 out of 1 and a half Billion in China