To ask DD to come home from Uni because of Coronavirus

[MeghanTheeFrenchie]

Hi all, NM for this
I have a daughter at Sussex Uni and I am finding myself very anxious about the situation. On monday DD was emailed by the Uni that two students were being tested for Coronavirus, DD told me one of her flatmates saw a student being taken away by men in Hazmat Suits.

This along with the other cases in Brighton and the south coast is making me sick with worry. Aibu to ask her to come home.

I'm sure I heard a high level doctor state asthmatics weren't more at risk with this virus.

Massive over-reaction.

Your daughter is capable of her own decisions, and really does not need you freaking out and demanding she comes home.

Don't worry. The lecturers will be on strike soon, so no sitting in crowded lecture halls etc.

yes yabu. A complete over reaction

I'm at Brighton uni and work at Brighton hospital.

The only thing I'm worried about is not being able to do my placements if this all blows out of proportion.

OP YANBU to be concerned. She's your daughter, she has asthma, she's away from home.
But you would BU to ask her to come back.

At this point there really is no need.

My DD's boyfriend is at Sussex Uni too.
Apparently the lecturers are apparently going on strike again (unrelated to corona virus) and he won't be receiving any teaching for the next few weeks.
Does this apply to the course your dd is taking? if so, perhaps she'd be better off at home than possibly mixing with loads of other students?
I must say, I'm quite alarmed that so many people on the stranded cruise boat have been infected despite being quarantined from each other.
On the upside, there have been no new reports of infected people in Sussex today. Someone in London today though.
It's so difficult to know how worried we should be. I guess the next week or two will be very telling.

Infectious diseases are commonly seen in university settings. This is because people from all different parts of the country come together in one place and share close quarters with others who have not been exposed to these particular germs. "Fresher's flu" is a prime example of this. Your DD does not need to come home, but she should make sure she reads university emails regularly/follows their social media pages to make sure she is informed if any special precautions are needed. As previous posters have said, there are many other diseases (standard seasonal flu for example) posing a much higher risk at the moment.

YABU.

You're expecting her to disrupt her studies to assuage your anxieties.

Read up on it, check the statistics. The risk is still very low.

You would be disrupting her life, marking her out among her peers as being odd and pampered and without even eliminating the risk.

In the nicest possible way, you need to have a word with yourself.

I can understand your anxiety OP as one of my DDs lives in Brighton, I also live in Sussex. But asking your DD to come home sounds a bit OTT tbh. Perhaps ask her how she feels about it. After all, she's the one living there.

My take on it is that life has to go on. New or mutated viruses are frightening. But what can we do, should we all shut ourselves away?

This virus, like other viruses will run until it burns itself out and most people will, as far as I can gather, have mild symptoms.

Every times something new comes along there seems to be some medical authority/expert telling us that it's going to be devastating for the population. At various times we were all going to die of AIDS, mad cows' disease, swine flu and bird flu; but we didn't.

Unfortunately, people do die from flu and other viruses every year, but most people don't. All we can do is to observe basis hygiene and take care of ourselves; we can't stop living our lives.

Please don’t project your feelings about this on to your daughter.

You have to let her grow up and learn to take responsibility for herself OP. I know how anxious you are

The students were informed that this had happened on Monday afternoon so hopefully as there has been no further news over 2 days later it may well be a false alarm.

I understand it is worrying especially as she is asthmatic but your DD is an adult now and as such she must make her own decisions. It would be unreasonable for you to ask her to interrupt her studies because of your anxiety when the university itself does not deem the situation serious enough to advise students return home. Please be assured that they will be monitoring the situation closely.

If it is any consolation there are reports of unwell students being ushered into ambulances with people in hazmat suits in a few universities including Southampton and Lancaster and they have been false alarms.

I think you must KNOW that YABU!

You’re being ridiculous and very likely to transfer your anxiety to your daughter. I had a mother like you and couldn’t wait to move out and be free of her!

YABVU leave her be

You can reasonably make it clear to her that she's welcome to come home if she wants to, but don't go any further than that. She might want to if the university end up cancelling teaching sesssions/closing libraries etc and she's getting bored.

I suspect that now is a reasonably good time to catch Corvid-19 if you're going to - not many people have it, so the NHS isn't overwhelmed, meaning there will be good medical care if you are ill. This won't continue to be the case if it spreads very widely. At the minute there are few enough cases to put a lot of resources into each case to minimise the spread.

My anxiety is off the scale atm (for other reasons) and I've daughters at uni in Leeds and Newcastle respectively, so I do totally understand your feelings! I recognise that this is out of my control, that I am being irrational and there is no point in worrying. I know my daughters would laugh at me if I suggested they come home! But I do get it! x

YABVU. Let her decide for herself if she wants to come home.
You are HUGELY overreacting.

Some of the cases reported at the schools in Brighton yday were total false alarms.

I would expect her university to be taking it very seriously and if there is any real danger they will cancel classes or make appropriate adjustments.

YABU although understandably so.

There have been 5 confirmed cases in this area, all linked to one person. Lots of unconfirmed cases but that is to be expected.

People are being over cautious because of the recent confirmed cases. It may all come to nothing.

I live and work in the area and I do understand it is worrying but you have to live life as normal. I certainly am.

Really??? Of course you can’t ask her to cone home.

I completely understand your worry, OP, especially as she's asthmatic (and to the pp who commented, no, asthmatics aren't at higher risk of catching it but they are more likely to be seriously ill if they do). Balancing risks, I would say that if she's sensible about handwashing and avoiding unnecessary close contact, she might be better off staying put for now compared with, say, a long journey on public transport to get home. But she does need to be sensible and in your shoes I would keep monitoring the situation. And ignore the epidemic of nonchalance on AIBU. Everyone here is very cool, obviously, but no one here knows any more than you, some rather less.

as a university academic who is about to hear of students seeking personal Tutor meetings and referrals to wellbeing centre for parental pressure of this sort (sometimes coming from abroad) - please do not do this