To ask DD to come home from Uni because of Coronavirus

[MeghanTheeFrenchie]

Hi all, NM for this
I have a daughter at Sussex Uni and I am finding myself very anxious about the situation. On monday DD was emailed by the Uni that two students were being tested for Coronavirus, DD told me one of her flatmates saw a student being taken away by men in Hazmat Suits.

This along with the other cases in Brighton and the south coast is making me sick with worry. Aibu to ask her to come home.

My daughter is also a first year at Sussex Uni. She is coming for a planned weekend home on Saturday but will be going back on Monday. I'm not too worried although the video of the guys in Hazmat suits was slightly alarming! I don't think she is at any more risk there than anywhere but I do understand your concerns.

Let's imagine she's 21/22 and in her first graduate job, which happens to be in that location.

Would you be asking her to take annual leave - or pull a sickie - from work to come and stay with you?

I have one at uni on south coast too. You cannot ask her to come home because attendance matters and if it falls under a certain amount she’s at risk of being kicked off.
You have to assure yourself that it is a tiny percentage risk that she will get it and could be anywhere so risk wherever you are. Much more likely to be kicked off course if you keep her at home for weeks (it will take that long for it to stop spreading).

Yes, YABU. Please don't project this ott anxiety onto your daughter.

Worried about mine in halls. Half his block are chinese nationals. Told him to hand wash frequently with soap and water. Nothing more I can do. He had flu last year, very ill with complications. We all worry about our children, but stay quiet for now.

YABU it's really not fair to ask her to come home from Uni. Respect whatever she does but don't ask her to miss lectures/seminars (at her cost) so you feel more comfortable.

YABU, please don’t ask her to

There has been bullying of Chinese Students at my sons university causing them a lot of distress. I think you are over reacting.

I can't work out which of these threads are legit and which are wind ups anymore.

If your child is 18 or over then don’t ask .
Your child is old enough to make their own decision, plus, they will be guided by the university’s well-supported advice.

YABU - I know that these are worrying times but please don't do this to your dd. You cannot confine her to her bedroom everytime there is an international health crisis.

I say this as the mum of a student dd, also asthmatic, who is currently sharing an 8 room corridor (including kitchen and shower) with a student who returned from China a week ago.

She's an adult and you've no business ordering her home.

So sit with your feelings, feel them, breathe, and keep them to yourself.

Yabu, but if you want some comfort, the current mortality rate is estimated to be 2% although they think it's lower than that because a lot of people will have been infected but not been ill enough to recognise it or go to a hospital. There is very little of it in this country and while we almost certainly will get more cases, it's highly unlikely to become an epidemic here although it is in China, but even there it is restricted, by and large, to the areas of Wuhan and Hubei.

The numbers of death are going up daily and they look scary, but you have to take into account the numbers of people infected and the size of the areas. Wuhan has a population of just over 11 million, Hubei 58.5 million. We are talking of huge populations with a relatively small number of deaths from the large number who are infected.

For comparison, in the UK we have a death rate of roughly 600 each year from flu. The fact is that with asthma - which I also have - we are always at risk from illnesses that are less threatening to other people, but we carry on. No one has died of the virus in this country, some may, but it will be a very small number and the chances of it happening to your daughter are almost non-existent. I live a few miles outside of Brighton and go there regularly and I'm really not worried about Coronavirus. Chill, it will pass and your daughter knows how to look after herself.

She's an adult. You couldn't make her come back even if it was a rational idea.

I understand the instinct to bring her home but it probably wouldn't make a difference anyway.

I have a DD at university too.

Drum the handwashing message into her and support her to stay put. Are her lectures recorded on Panopto or similar? If so they will probably permit students to access them that way if anyone is diagnosed on campus.

This virus is going to be around for a while so we need to learn to live with it.

I just hope all the people who proudly declare on MN threads that they never wash their hands, even after using the toilet, have a change of heart now.

No, you can't ask her to come home. Not least because she's studying, probably with exams coming up - you can't disrupt that. And no dropping hints so that she feels she has no choice but to assuage your fears by coming home to make you feel better.

Universities are more than aware of the coronavirus risks - we get updates every few days.

I have a DS at uni in Boston. He knows how to protect himself from unnecessary exposure and there are only 13 confirmed cases in a population of 350 million people, so he'll just have to keep slogging on with cost accounting, calculus and the crew team.

And this is exactly why it spreads if there is a case they will be all over it and tracing and testing people who have been in contact.
What you are suggesting is bringing her home because she might of been exposed to it and bring it to your house so you can spread an outbreak in your area.

Not ridiculous or unreasonable to be worried the way the media are reporting this and from what your daughter has said. However it would probably be unreasonable to ask her to drop her studies to come home. I hope you can get past this... xx

I can understand your worry however it is going to show up around the country and tbh taking public transport is as much of a risk.

Our public health systems are very good, so we will have more cases but the majority of this will stay in China.

What you could tell her is to be very good at hand hygiene. Particularly before touching her face and mouth. So always before eating. Washing her hands regularly for a while. No hugging or shaking hands.

Her university will be all over this situation to ensure the safety of its students. If the situation is serious they will suspend classes. The best thing you can do for your daughter is to be a model of reason and pragmatism.

And the hazmat suits are a positive thing. They are about hygiene: they protect frontline workers who are needed to control the spread from getting infected, but also they can be sanitised which prevents further spread.

YABVU and really silly. Don’t project such ridiculous anxiety onto your daughter; the emotional turmoil would be exceptionally unfair.

OP, apologies I can't write much right now.

But I'm in Brighton & this is a massive over reaction & not students have been taken away in Hamza suits, trust me, with the fear mongering coming from some quarters here, we would all have heard of it. I'll try & come back with a link to a local mp post, but no, don't bring her home. That would be a massive over reaction

Here you go...

www.facebook.com/179475262226184/posts/1447414498765581/

Funny, RockinHippy, I heard this exact tale recently, except it took place at Bristol Uni (only it didn’t). Looks like it’s becoming an urban myth, for some strange reason.